Bare bum in dressing room , AIBU.

[pinkboa]

I take DS to swimming. I got the times wrong turned up for the wrong lesson. I decide to go back to the changing room to wait. I find it hard to breath in the pool area, 30 minutes is ok, an hour and I can feel my asthma begin to act up.

There is a dad there getting his daughters dressed (fine) he was in the pool and he's down to his underwear.

Another dad arrives with his son, him and my DS are in the same lesson.

Anyways dad of daughters decides to get dressed... he drops his pants and is stark naked in front of his daughters. He is also by the door so if another parent was coming in their child would have walked into his penis! And it wasn't less than a minute because he was drying himself as well 🤢...

There are cubicles. He could have used a towel as well.

Why would and adult choose to get naked in a dressing room at a swim lesson for children with strangers around.

AIBU to find it bizarre?

His bum was also hairy and unattractive 🤢.

@pinkboa Okay, in that case I as a man will sit in the womens changing rooms and stare at someone getting changed then make negative comments about their naked body.

As after all, you would think the above is perfectly okay.

I appear to be missing the point here, either that or YABU.

1. You arrived early for the swimming lesson.
2. You went to sit in the men's changing room.
3. You saw a man naked.

So what? If you are a woman then why were you in the mens? If you are a man then presumably you've seen a penis before.

YABU and quite ridiculous.

I have a son, if he was in a changing room with his dad and happened to see another mans penis as he was getting changed there would be no issue.

If my son was in a toy shop and a man exposed himself in front of him then there would be an issue.

Can you see the difference?

Just read your update - unbelievable, you're a woman going into a male changing room and complaining about a man changing in there. Unreal.

When you have a child that needs help changing, they go in your change room. With you.

So for you your DS in ladies or for me, when my dd was younger she went in the men's with dad if I was there.

You shouldn't have bee in there.

I wouldn't like this at all and would consider it inappropriate behaviour in a mixed-sex changing room.

Any bloke who acts like this is an exhibitionist - he may be comfortable with being nude in front of members of the opposite sex, and children, but he will be well aware that other people are not equally comfortable in the presence of nudity. It is not fair that he imposes his naked body on others, particularly women and children. It is perfectly possible to get changed, discreetly, under a towel. Why is this such a dreadful thing to expect? I would honestly consider a man who did this to be a pervert of some sort, who was getting a thrill out of upsetting people.

Others have mentioned public nudity in other countries - that's fine - their cultures are different. Here in the UK we are customarily more discreet - and that's how most of us prefer it.

OH!

I've just seen that YOU were in the MEN'S changing room!

WHY?

TBF the thread IS getting a bit repetitive with people not reading the thread before replying. OP has accepted she was wrong.

Now I'm just trying to figure out in which hot commonwealth country (with English as first language? Your English certainly seems native level, OP) the culture would be for parents to enter bathrooms and changing rooms of the opposite sex with their kids (sounds a nightmare for women) and where it would be viewed as wrong to get changed in a changing room if a child is present.

Because it all sound a bit difficult to believe.

I wouldn't like this at all and would consider it inappropriate behaviour in a mixed-sex changing room.

Not as inappropriate as not reading the thread before considering posting though.

YABU in my opinion.

I think this situation is fine, if not perhaps a bit unusual for the UK. He was just a human with a body, drying off and getting dressed again. Just like breasts aren't inherently sexual, neither are penises.

TBF the thread IS getting a bit repetitive with people not reading the thread before replying. OP has accepted she was wrong.

But it's a great example of how many people are happy to comment on what they think the facts are, rather than the facts themselves. In that sense it's a microcosm of something wrong these days ....

Now I'm just trying to figure out in which hot commonwealth country (with English as first language? Your English certainly seems native level, OP) the culture would be for parents to enter bathrooms and changing rooms of the opposite sex with their kids (sounds a nightmare for women) and where it would be viewed as wrong to get changed in a changing room if a child is present.

Canada ? Does it still consider itself Commonwealth ?

@melj1213

Please read with the intention of comprehending. Thanks.

@Comefromaway

Well asthma affects people differently doesn't it?

Humidity and extreme cold affect mine... likewise damp, mould... smoke... it's like when I lived in the tropics and it rained the smell of hot wet earth would set it off.

It's like after years of no ill effects I move to the uk and bam! It starts up!

You know because things affect people in different ways... imagine if one diagnosis fit all.

It's like that time in Melbourne where they had "thunderstorm asthma" because of the rye pollen.

@CaptainCaveMum

Nope not making that trek back to the car. Nope! It is you and other people's lack of comprehension thats creating inconsistencies... perhaps re-read.

@AnchorDownDeepBreath
I haven't. I didn't go to a school that you showered after PE... I've just not been in places where people are walking around naked. I don't care either and it's neither here nor there for me... I was asking if it was ok in front of a strangers child (and I am told it is fine). As I said we walk around naked at home... but they are our kids. It's important my children understand bodies are different and all are normal... I just wondered if seeing a strangers bum was the way to do that.

I always saw my mothers body... she never hid it... all her flaps and stretch marks after 8 kids... and all my siblings. But I have never seen a naked human outside of my family until I was in 6th form and I'm talking here in person, face to face... not in a form of media. I don't take umbrage to the human body.

@Teachermaths

That's was under the proviso he was out with her alone...

I take her into the ladies.

@Mamboitaliano

People need toilets. They could have bladder issues, diarrhoea... they could have an invisible disability. I will always assume people who go into toilets ( and let me be specific disabled toilets) do so because they needed it... not because they were being mean and wanted to hog the space. I don't police peoples toilet habits.

So your child is disabled? Why didn’t you say so.

The OP has been asked if her child is disabled. In my posts I said assuming the child is NT with no disability then using the disabled toilet is wrong. Others have said the same.

As she has not stated that her child has any disability we can only presume they do not.

Canada ? Does it still consider itself Commonwealth?

She said it was somewhere hot. Not sure Canada qualifies!!

Come on OP explain why you didn’t wait in your car? (The one you told us about last night.)

He can take her to the men's? You do 😂

I am suitably chastened, Rosetti

Are u kidding, u r objecting to a man getting changed in a mans changing room and you as a woman have gone in there.

If I was him I would complain about you in there, because it was less crowded ??? WTAF

I never go in cubicles, they are hot and cramped and often dirty, people are too prudish in this country but you shouldn’t be in the men’s, ever

OMG cross posted with you...your car is a ‘trek’ away.

‘Your honour, I was not spying on the naked gentleman, I was medically required to rest in his presence. I could not return to my vehicle as I had no crampons or rope. I consider his actions of getting changed in a men’s changing room both provocative and inappropriate. It is my right as a mother of a male child to relax in any place I deem fit. And it is unfair I should be forced to see naked body parts. In my country all men cover themselves up at all times especially in single sex areas. I know this because er reasons even though I’ve never been in and my husband is English’

Honestly his is outrageous.. imagine if a man went into t he ladies dressing room and complained about seeing a glimpse of a
Woman's breast.
I don't accept you didn't know it wasn't the norm. Surely you realised that you were to only woman in there.
You are totally and utterly bonkers and lucky that you haven't been complained as being some weird perv.

Well asthma affects people differently doesn't it?

Is your asthma worse in the female changing rooms? (that's not meant to flippant, I know from experience that more perfume/deodorant being used can set off asthma)

OP - If I were you I'd get this thread deleted. You've breached the most basic of norms. The only surprising thing is that you weren't actually chucked out.