Bare bum in dressing room , AIBU.

[pinkboa]

I take DS to swimming. I got the times wrong turned up for the wrong lesson. I decide to go back to the changing room to wait. I find it hard to breath in the pool area, 30 minutes is ok, an hour and I can feel my asthma begin to act up.

There is a dad there getting his daughters dressed (fine) he was in the pool and he's down to his underwear.

Another dad arrives with his son, him and my DS are in the same lesson.

Anyways dad of daughters decides to get dressed... he drops his pants and is stark naked in front of his daughters. He is also by the door so if another parent was coming in their child would have walked into his penis! And it wasn't less than a minute because he was drying himself as well 🤢...

There are cubicles. He could have used a towel as well.

Why would and adult choose to get naked in a dressing room at a swim lesson for children with strangers around.

AIBU to find it bizarre?

His bum was also hairy and unattractive 🤢.

To balance the thread (if that's possible) Alan Davies did a routine about not realising quite how much men flash their junk about until he had to take his daughter swimming ... (there then follows a brief demonstration of the poses guys strike blow drying their balls).

I give people the benefit of the doubt due to understanding about invisible disabilites. But if I found someone non disabled was routinely using disabled facilities, don't worry I'd let them know. (not applicable if it is also a designated baby change area)

Where did I say I used a disabled toilet or that my husband does...

I said he takes the child to use it... the child. Child.

Wow - you seem to be remarkably lacking in self awareness, OP. Use of facilities with babies and young children goes with the sex of the adult carer. Surely any fool knows that?

Definitely a wind up now the 'using disabled toilets' drip feed has come up ... it's for disabled people op as you well know - or sometimes nappy changing if that's the only baby changing facility

Yes your being totally unreasonable. A mans bum in a male changing room is just where it should be.

You on the other hand would of looked completely out of place sitting in a male changing room watching the men get changed.

I'm sure you wouldn't feel comfortable with a man sotting in the ladies changing room watching you get changed.

@Comefromaway

How can you tell they are able bodied?

I would never haggle someone coming from a toilet... I'll assume they went in because they needed it. End of for me. They've already done their business... what will come out of it me standing there waging my finger and tutting... it's not worth it.

I hope your playing devils advocate, or the consensus of opinion helps you get over yourself. Try not to pass on your misguidance to your children, and let your DD enjoy the swimming.

@GhoulWithADragonTattoo

I'm not just any fool now am I?

Think I was described as obtuse and a bitch by someone for my lack of cultural awareness.

@anothernamereally

Yes definitely, because responding to something completely outside of the original parameters of my post is a drip feed! 👍🏽

I would never haggle someone coming from a toilet... I'll assume they went in because they needed it.

The disabled person waiting for the loo might not 'haggle' you or 'wag their finger'. They might even assume you needed it. But you/your child didn't because they are not disabled. Meanwhile, the ONLY toilet that some disabled people can physically use is occupied. So they might not be haggling you but they could well be in pain from having to wait, or have humiliatingly soiled themselves because you were selfish.

(And of course YABU - male people can be naked in a male changing room. It's not wrong or anything else that you implied, and nothing bad will happen from a glimpse of a penis, even at close quarters.)

Why can't you/your husband take your child to a standard toilet block? Like most people do.

@pinkboa Have you really never seen naked women in the women's changing room?!

My gym and pool are full of them, I see the people that tend to be there at the same time as me naked so often that it's weird to see them with clothes on! It's definitely more unusual for people to try and keep their towel on then it is to be nude; even in the kids section of the changing room.

I can only see kids seeing different types of bodies as a good thing, nefarious purposes aside, and I think anyone who really didn't want to expose their children to nudity would need to avoid changing rooms.

I'd bet anything that if you start taking your son to the women's, you'll see loads of naked women.

pinkboa Wed 27-Nov-19 00:05:15
I suppose next time it's back to the car to wait!

pinkboa Wed 27-Nov-19 10:12:54
*@Londonborncatty I refuse to stand outside in the cold and it was also raining! Nope!

So you could have waited in the car ... but by this morning there was no car...

Sure ... Much as I have enjoyed this thread madness, you need to pack it in now OP. Your er inconsistencies are starting to strain.

And as a general point, anyone sitting around in any changing room rather than actively getting changed is in the wrong... it’s not a spectator activity. And is liable to make you appear to be a pervert.
HTH

Adult women should not be in a male changing space as adult men should not be there. Taking children of the opposite sex in is a chance you take and you should do so cautiously depending on the age of the child. I remember when our swimming baths had gendered changing rooms (it must be 20 years since they changed) and there used to be a sign saying children over 8 must use the correct changing room.

There also was always limited cubicles so most got changed 'in the open' even if there was a cubicle available- i would guess this man is just used to and comfortable with being naked in with other men.

I surprised you weren't asked to leave but you have no right to complain about this at all. Next time take your son in the women's changing room.

I still dont understand why it was the mens changing room you had to sit in @pinkboa

It is not an option of "sit in the mens room or stand out in the rain" as you have the option of sitting poolside or in the women's room instead you are choosing to perve on men changing.

During the lesson the only people in the women's changing room were other mums and you only sit in there because your asthma means you can't stay poolside, so why cant you sit in the womens room? Just because the male changing room is more likely to be empty doesnt make it a unisex waiting room.

Now that you know that male changing rooms are for males to change in and you may be confronted with penises, you need to stop going in there just because it is empty and go to the women's changing room for the duration of the lesson.

Is either your husband or the child disabled? If not, then same 'cultural' rules apply. Husband should take child to men's loo with him.

Only exception to that is if there is a nappy change to be done and the change table is in the same cubicle as the disabled loo. But that would be a whole other thread...

Your able bodied child with no disability was using a disabled/accessible toilet.

That is CF at it's finest. You and your dh have an awful, entitled attitude and I just hope that neither of you or your children develop any kind of disability in the future where you will actually need these facilities.

The asthma bit is quite confusing. I have severe asthma and steamy swimming pool type environments are really good for it. The doctor used to tell me to go and sit in a steamy bathroom when I was suffering.

So your child is disabled? Why didn’t you say so.

@DGRossetti I’ll be googling that immediately

I think it is the other way round! Those who are unhappy with children seeing a penis in a changing room are perhaps the ones at fault. In our house people can walk around naked. Even my grandparents int he 1930s did naked swimming.

didn't think women were allowed to sit in the men's changing room. Surely if they do they breach the rules at best and at worst are regarded as some kind of pervert.

Pinkboa, I can promise you that mothers in female changing rooms with their kids and other kids in the vicinity do indeed get naked in front of all the kids.

Not running around doing laps of the changing rooms naked but there are indeed boobs, bums and sometimes vulvas to be seen. Let’s just say I know which women at the gym have a Hollywood and which have a Brazillian.

There is no way in a women’s changing room I’m doing that awkward thing of trying to get knickers on/off while trying to hold a towel round my waist. I don’t hang about but I do get naked. And shock, horror sometimes there’s kids there and sometimes they’re boys.

If the parents don’t think that’s appropriate then they can stop bringing their children to the gym/swimming. Not my problem.

Well if it's a family changing room, then I think it's only fair to accept that people's privates might be exposed whilst they change.
Anywhere else no, but surely that's what family changing rooms are for - families, including males and females, to get their clothes on and off?

Sorry? You (presumably a woman) went into the men's changing room and you're complaining about seeing a penis?

You shouldn't have been in there. If your child is under 8 they go into your changing rooms, if they're over 8 they go into their own by themselves.