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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's unreasonable to charge family for one off babysitting

287 replies

Partytrain · 26/11/2019 18:52

My sister and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things so wanted opinions on this. We've just moved house and my niece (sister's daughter) has been talking about sleepover at ours with our two young DC. DH & I have been invited out and I asked sister if niece wants to babysit our DC (basically watch a film until we get back) and sleep over that night. Sister said yes but asked how much she will be paid! As she is family I was never intending on paying her as I certainly wouldn't be charging. I said well I'll be giving her dinner and she'll be sleeping over and can join us next day at christmas fair. Just received message asking if I'll also be paying her bus fair. I think it's about £3 and my sister earns about 5 times more than I do! This isnt about paying money, more about the constant focus on money and tone from sister like she'll be doing me massive favour (lots of other recent things). I thought it would be fun for cousins but the questions about money make me uncomfortable. Aibu? Wwyd?

OP posts:
Alwayshangryhangry · 26/11/2019 19:59

@Ellisandra I think the msg about the bus fair is unnecessary and I would read it as being unfriendly. I would still pay the niece though.

mummmy2017 · 26/11/2019 19:59

Why do you begrudge give the child £10?
She was letting you go out.
And if you have so many friends who will do it willingly, are you so sure about that.

Murraygoldberg · 26/11/2019 19:59

Off course you pay her, I pay my dss's to babysit and they come as a pair so need to pay double! ( I also pay for takeaway - suspect they just order chips for themselves and keep the cash)

VisionQuest · 26/11/2019 20:00

I would pay. I think you're being tight.

26mcjrfm · 26/11/2019 20:02

As a teenager, I regularly babysat my younger cousins and neighbours kids - yes, the children could have stayed with family for the night and adults wouldn’t have had to pay them - but I loved that they trusted me and respected me enough to give me the responsibility and pay me for it after. It gave me extra money to buy nice things/ go to the cinema etc.

I actually am astounded that you’d expect to not pay her, and I assume from your post that you are known as being tight, as your sister had to ask how much you were paying.

It is commonly known that babysitters cost money. Stop taking the piss at your family!

RolytheRhino · 26/11/2019 20:02

So, now it's been well established that you are being unreasonable, You'll be back any minute to tell us that you've told SIL you've reconsidered and will of course be paying your neice for her time, yes?

Prisonbreak · 26/11/2019 20:03

Pay her

Oakmaiden · 26/11/2019 20:03

Don't look at is a paying her, then. Look at it as giving her a bit of pocket money in return for the favour she is doing you.

malfoylovespotter · 26/11/2019 20:08

Niece was taking about coming for a sleepover anyway. Now OP has to pay her just because she's going out for a couple of hours? No.

Angelw · 26/11/2019 20:09

I’m in favour of paying her...😊

TheArtfulScreamer1 · 26/11/2019 20:10

Christ I'm glad you're not my aunt or my sister for that matter you CF. I'm joining the chorus of of course you should pay her you tight arse. My mum is baby sitting for us next weekend and wouldn't dream of taking money off us so we're taking her out for Sun lunch as a thankyou. An adult relative I'd treat or return a favour a teen I'd absolutely hand cold hard cash to.

ihatethebus · 26/11/2019 20:10

YABVU of course you should pay her, why should she do it for free, she will be working for you.

GabsAlot · 26/11/2019 20:11

give her bus fare and some money for the fair then youve given her something if u dont want to see it as a charege for babysitting

RolytheRhino · 26/11/2019 20:11

Niece was taking about coming for a sleepover anyway. Now OP has to pay her just because she's going out for a couple of hours?

Yes. Obviously.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/11/2019 20:12

Cancel.

Your niece has been talking abut coming to stay over - this suggests it would be a treat for her. You are providing that treat - in addition she will be able to spend time with your DCs for a couple of hours scoffing pizza and watching mindless TV without you being about - most kids I can think of would consider this fun.

You aren't expecting her to babysit regularly for nothing - this is, as you say, a one-off. More spending time together than babysitting. I would be upset at the predatory nature of her mother, too. It wouldn't occur to me to expect my sister to pay my DD to babysit as a one-off - especially of she was stying overnight, being fed and going to Christmas market.

Or . . . you could pay her and give a her a bill for her food and bed.

Lunde · 26/11/2019 20:13

It is completely different doing an adult to adult favour from an adult to teen relationship with you wanting a favour from a child. You are wanting a favour but are trying to dress it up as you doing her a favour which seems really tight.

I would never expect pay/bills between adults but would always expect payment for a teen. I was always paid by my aunt and uncle for babysitting. I paid a friend's dd to babysit mine.

Walnutwhipster · 26/11/2019 20:14

Of course you should pay your neice and order her a takeaway in whilst there. It's weird to think you wouldn't. If it was your sister or mum that's different but I've always paid my neice when she babysit for us and ordered her a pizza.

RolytheRhino · 26/11/2019 20:15

Or . . . you could pay her and give a her a bill for her food and bed.

What planet are you from?

jamdhanihash · 26/11/2019 20:15

You're a CF OP. Put yourself in her shoes and pay her, handsomely. She's a teen and if you want more favours from her you need to incentivise her. The old 'family doing favours' goes two ways. No way I'd have babysat my cousins for free.

TryingToBeBold · 26/11/2019 20:15

If your friends can do it for free..
Ask them. Then invite your niece to sleepover tomorrow night instead after you've still taken them to the fair.

User342109097569098 · 26/11/2019 20:16

I would agree totally you don’t charge family, however as it’s your niece then I would give her a token amount like a £10/15 so she feels like she’s earning, I would
Never pay my sister but I think it’s different with a niece as she’s a teenager as PP have said

Sally2791 · 26/11/2019 20:18

Keep it sweet. Pay her

Neolara · 26/11/2019 20:18

I totally think you should p

Tink88 · 26/11/2019 20:18

Pay her £20 for babysitting and pick her up and drop her off.

Beautiful3 · 26/11/2019 20:19

I would pay her a tenner and a pizza. I think that's fair.