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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's unreasonable to charge family for one off babysitting

287 replies

Partytrain · 26/11/2019 18:52

My sister and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things so wanted opinions on this. We've just moved house and my niece (sister's daughter) has been talking about sleepover at ours with our two young DC. DH & I have been invited out and I asked sister if niece wants to babysit our DC (basically watch a film until we get back) and sleep over that night. Sister said yes but asked how much she will be paid! As she is family I was never intending on paying her as I certainly wouldn't be charging. I said well I'll be giving her dinner and she'll be sleeping over and can join us next day at christmas fair. Just received message asking if I'll also be paying her bus fair. I think it's about £3 and my sister earns about 5 times more than I do! This isnt about paying money, more about the constant focus on money and tone from sister like she'll be doing me massive favour (lots of other recent things). I thought it would be fun for cousins but the questions about money make me uncomfortable. Aibu? Wwyd?

OP posts:
FloraGreysteel · 29/11/2019 06:09

Another vote for paying her! You're being tight, OP. I wonder how many times she's babysat for you before without payment? I wouldn't be surprised if she'd asked her mum to ask you for money.

prawnsword · 29/11/2019 06:10

But you admit in the thread title it’s babysitting. How cheeky of you !

Rickytickytembo · 29/11/2019 06:12

Bit late to this thread. Hope you've now decided to pay your niece, OP?

Goldenchildsmum · 29/11/2019 06:16

Pay the child ffs. And stop projecting your sister envy onto your niece.

ohcarriemathison · 29/11/2019 06:19

Absolutely you should pay her.
If it was an adult family member then no but a young family member helping out should be paid for babysitting.
My daughter used to often babysit for family when she was 15-17 and family would pick her up, pay her £20 and get her taxi home.
Worked out for everyone and she enjoyed the feeling of earning some money.

Nodancingshoes · 29/11/2019 06:56

I have paid my niece to babysit - she's 16. She didn't expect to get paid but I appreciated her time so I gave her £15 which she was really happy with

ForeverFaff · 29/11/2019 07:11

I'd get another babysitter. Then you can shoo them off home once you get home instead of feeding, hosting them all night and taking to a fair the next day.

If your sister wants to play hardball capitalism, then you can too.

BigChocFrenzy · 29/11/2019 07:38

How many MNers would use a "sleepover" to go out and enjoy some free babysitting ? Hmm

BigChocFrenzy · 29/11/2019 07:39

There are so many opportunities for the "hardball" capitalists:

invite kids on sleepovers to dust & vacuum the house ?

avocadotofu · 29/11/2019 08:34

I think you should definitely be paying her. She's babysitting for you after all.

LoopyLuck · 29/11/2019 08:36

I was never paid for looking after my little siblings when mum was out, nor would I expect paying for looking after my cousins. Sister seems grabby and uptight.

MzHz · 29/11/2019 08:36

It wouldn’t cross my mind NOT to give the girl a few quid! Ffs, how tight are you?

LoopyLuck · 29/11/2019 08:38

Even as an adult I wouldn't expect paying for babysitting family members, let alone as a teenager

motherheroic · 29/11/2019 09:04

Hardball capitalism? I really hope you stretched before this reach.

motherheroic · 29/11/2019 09:06

@LoopyLuck As an adult you have you own money and probably won't miss £15. It's common sense really.

Bluntness100 · 29/11/2019 09:09

I can't imagine being so tight as to ask a kid to baby sit and not want to pay them because they get dinner and I as an adult wouldn't get paid.

That needs to win Cf of the year award. 😱

BlouseAndSkirt · 29/11/2019 09:10

Your poor niece is now caught in a petty row between you and your sister.

If she is old enough to babysit she is old enough for you to communicate with direct.

Invite her over, ask if she is happy to hold the fort while you go out and yes, offer her a tenner.

She is a human being in the middle of this, not a commodity for your sister to haggle over or for you to compare to free service you can get from friends.

Bluerussian · 29/11/2019 09:51

Nodancingshoes Fri 29-Nov-19 06:56:44
I have paid my niece to babysit - she's 16. She didn't expect to get paid but I appreciated her time so I gave her £15 which she was really happy with
...........

That sounds about right to me, Nodancingshoes. Very fair.

LoopyLuck · 29/11/2019 09:55

As an adult you have you own money and probably won't miss £15. It's common sense really.

I'm poor, I sure as fuck would miss £15. I would babysit my cousins and siblings for free as a teen.

Guavaf1sh · 29/11/2019 10:15

Pay her

mbosnz · 29/11/2019 10:18

This is for your benefit, although you're dressing it up as being for her. Pay her. God I got so damned sick of being the free babysitter for my nieces and nephews. From when I was nine!

PumpkinP · 29/11/2019 10:47

Wow, my nephew babysat my kids last week, it’s the first time he ever babysat and it was initiated by my sister (I didn’t ask) it didn’t occur to me that I was suppose to pay him! Now I feel like I’ve committed some kind of sin 😂 payment was never mentioned. Tbh I couldn’t afford to go out if I had to pay on top of it.

motherheroic · 29/11/2019 10:47

@LoopyLuck More fool you.

RockinHippy · 29/11/2019 10:49

Another that agrees that you should pay your niece for the time she's left alone with your DCs & is babysitting them

Tonz · 29/11/2019 10:51

I wouldn’t pay my sister to babysit as I babysit for her. If I ask my niece to babysit of course I pay her and leave money for a pizza. She’s a young girl who is taking on a huge responsibility for my benefit why wouldn’t I pay her and make sure she knows how much I appreciated her help.
Stop being tight