To think it's unreasonable to charge family for one off babysitting

[Partytrain]

My sister and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things so wanted opinions on this. We've just moved house and my niece (sister's daughter) has been talking about sleepover at ours with our two young DC. DH & I have been invited out and I asked sister if niece wants to babysit our DC (basically watch a film until we get back) and sleep over that night. Sister said yes but asked how much she will be paid! As she is family I was never intending on paying her as I certainly wouldn't be charging. I said well I'll be giving her dinner and she'll be sleeping over and can join us next day at christmas fair. Just received message asking if I'll also be paying her bus fair. I think it's about £3 and my sister earns about 5 times more than I do! This isnt about paying money, more about the constant focus on money and tone from sister like she'll be doing me massive favour (lots of other recent things). I thought it would be fun for cousins but the questions about money make me uncomfortable. Aibu? Wwyd?

You should definitely pay your niece. She's a teenager, babysitting for money is a rite of passage. Plus, watching a film with your kids probably isn't the big treat to her that you think it is.

If it was your sister / DM / a fully grown adult then you wouldn't pay, but you do pay teenage babysitters. It's quite appalling that you need to ask.

@misspiggy19 exactly this. I should add I've also looked after nieces and nephews numerous times as well as friends children. It wouldn't even occur to me to charge!

If she’s a teen then certainly pay her.

She’s taking responsibility for your children and that’s allowing you an evening out.
I’m not sure why you wouldn’t TBH.

My sister has always paid dd for babysitting. Why on earth would you expect her to do it for nothing? You are leaving her in charge of your kids. Surely they are worth paying her a few quid to look after them.

I paid my niece, I didn't think it really mattered how much her parents earnt as they weren't the ones doing my babysitting.

I agree you should pay her. You wouldn't be able to go out if she wasn't going to be there so why wouldn't you pay her?!

Another vote for paying

My niece often babysits while kids are up and watches strictly with them and has pizza etc. I always pay her. She looks after her brothers for free which is obviously fine but I pay her.

YABU. I think it would be different if your sister was coming over to babysit as you could return the favour. What exactly does your niece get out of this arrangement? Not a lot. Pay up!

You'll probably find that your Niece won't want to do it if you don't pay her! My niece will only babysit her brother if my sister pays her. Also it's a common way for teenagers to earn money. Her friends are probably babysitting for money too.

Also, she'll need money for the Christmas Fayre!

Of course you wouldn't charge adult family for babysitting! That isn't the same thing at all. Teenagers babysitting should be paid. That's what most of us are saying here.

You should pay her. If you don’t want to pay her arrange the sleepover for another night when you aren’t out.

Of course you should pay her. The children are not her responsibility. Older children in families shouldn’t be seen as a default free babysitter.

how old is she?

OF COURSE you pay a teen for babysitting. YABVU.

Adults looking after friends' or families' children don't expect payment. Teens - from 14 onwards in our area - definitely ALWAYS get paid. It's one of the few ways for them to earn money.

What your sister earns is irrelevent, this is a transaction between you and your niece. Usual rates tend to be £4-5 an hour plus transport.

I would prob pay her £10, I think it's different if u was staying in bit you are not, she is babysitting for you.

Of course you pay her. Because she is young and family doesn't mean you get free babysitting.

I would pay a teenager as it’s pocket money for them and good to learn about working for money but an adult family member is different

I think you should pay her, she is babysitting for you so it is only fair.

Wouldn’t pay a sister but I would definitely pay a niece! Just £10 or £20. She is just a teenager and needs rewarding for the responsibility!

Pay her..
Or... but actually, if she wanted to come over to spend time with you, then why are you going out?

Ok I get what some of you are saying. A teenager needs to be paid because the favour cant be returned & the general logic on this thread implies you shouldn't pay adults in family but teenagers you should etc. But she isn't a random teenager coming to babysit for a couple of hours, she's my niece who will be staying with us till the next day. I also have friends nearby who could look after DC (for free) so it would feel weird to be paying someone from my own family.

Seriously I was always babysitting as a teen (13/14/15/16) and wouldn’t of been happy if my aunts who occasionally where people i babysat for expected me to do it for free. I’ve never heard of someone not paying their babysitter, related or not. She’s asked about a sleepover at your house while you where present not the responsibility of looking after your kids, honestly it just sounds as if your trying to use her as a free babysitter, either pay her or don’t go or if she does it for free she might not stay over or babysit again.

That’s what we do, why would you charge family?

Same reason you'd give your kid pocket money for going above and beyond with chores- how else are they supposed to earn spending money?

I think it would be mean not to pay her, I can see why you wouldn't pay an adult; but a teen who likely has little income?