To think it's unreasonable to charge family for one off babysitting

[Partytrain]

My sister and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things so wanted opinions on this. We've just moved house and my niece (sister's daughter) has been talking about sleepover at ours with our two young DC. DH & I have been invited out and I asked sister if niece wants to babysit our DC (basically watch a film until we get back) and sleep over that night. Sister said yes but asked how much she will be paid! As she is family I was never intending on paying her as I certainly wouldn't be charging. I said well I'll be giving her dinner and she'll be sleeping over and can join us next day at christmas fair. Just received message asking if I'll also be paying her bus fair. I think it's about £3 and my sister earns about 5 times more than I do! This isnt about paying money, more about the constant focus on money and tone from sister like she'll be doing me massive favour (lots of other recent things). I thought it would be fun for cousins but the questions about money make me uncomfortable. Aibu? Wwyd?

Come on OP - the fact she's a relation isn't relative (no pun intended).

You should pay her at least £10, personally I'd recommend £20.

A teenage niece should be paid.

Simple question OP:

Does having the neice stay over mean you save the cost of a babysitter or not? There’s your answer.

Have the sleepover on a night when you’re there.

I totally think you should pay your niece.. She's 14 and babysitting is one of the few ways kids her age can earn money.I would be very unimpressed if someone wanted my kids to babysit for free. If your sister was babysitting then I wouldn't expect to have to pay.

Pay her £5/hr plus bus fair, plus snacky treats. This will be great work experience for her.

It’s also good for her self-esteem, and for building responsibility and trust between you.

Dinner, sleepover and Xmas fair sound like great fun too (please drop her off home after).

Enjoy your evening out.

I think your logic has just got slightly adrift.
‘I’ve looked after my nephews and nieces many times and wouldn’t even consider being paid’ - This was a favour to your siblings and not to your nieces/nephews.
Unless you feel that your niece specifically owes you then it’s really not fair. You seem to understand that though judging by your last post.

Also I wonder if your sis is asking about money because DN is excited at the prospect of a baby sitting job and has asked her how much she’ll get...etc

It's on threads like this when I really wish there was a voting button. In short YABU!

@misspiggy19, money is important to teens especially at this time of the year. What harm would it do for OP to slip her £10.

You should pay her - or you could let your friends look after your kids for free. But then they'll be on here soon saying they have a friend who's a CF because she expects her kids to be looked after for nothing…

I think your sister is being unreasonable and ridiculous. You’re right, you don’t charge family for one off baby sitting. Can’t believe so many people on here think that’s normal

I think this is the first time I've ever seen a real live CF on MN.

Look at it from her point of view. She owes you no favors. Working for a wage is an important part of growing up.

I should add I've also looked after nieces and nephews numerous times as well as friends children. It wouldn't even occur to me to charge!

No one would!! But we're not talking about a peer doing a favour that you can reciprocate, it's a teenager.

I've honestly never heard of teens (other than siblings in certain circumstances) not being paid.

This is a reverse isn’t it? You expecting her to get the bus on top of not paying her was a step too far.

So the consensus, as has been pointed out, is that you should pay her.
If you’d done this as a vote, the results would be about 50 to 2 saying YADBU!

I must be an outrageous CF in your eyes, then - my mum would pay me to look after my own brother when I was 15/16/17 I had to give up a week or two of my summer holiday to look after him (mum and dad would stagger their annual leave to cover the other weeks) and I was compensated in phone top ups and a bit of cash for my trouble.

Teenagers don’t have much money and she is doing you a favour. Give her £15 and thank her - she’s saving you a lot compared to what a ‘proper’ babysitter would cost.

In fact, based on about 20 replies a page, and we’re on page 6. That 118 YADBU, and 2 YANBU
I think it’s pretty obvious

YABVU.... whether she’s your niece or not, you still give her a little something (like £10 or something!) ... can’t believe how tight you’re being!

I also notice how you seem to have only responded to the (very) few responses that have been in your favour too.

I would definitely pay her.

of course you should pay her, really can't understand why you wouldn't.
If you are too tight to why don't you cancel and get your friend to do it for free, then you can have your niece there when you won't leave her responsible for your children.

You either need to pay her or cancel.

You should pay her I think you're being ridiculous never mind unreasonable

Of course you should pay her for the time you're out. That's the time she's babysitting for you. I'm not sure why you think you shouldn't pay a teen for doing a job for you just because she's your neice tbh. I pay DS to wash my car and I would expect someone to pay him for babysitting.

Husbands niece did some babysitting and we paid her. Although I wouldn't pay and aunt to mind the kids. I just assume the niece could do with a few pounds..

I'd definitely pay her and have paid friends (older teens) for doing similar with my dc when they were a bit younger.