AIBU?
To be raging mad over this
Cantsayno · 25/11/2019 23:03
Posted about this before and my inability to say no to peoples petty requests that they are more than capable of doing themselves, but don’t because it’s easier for them If I do it. And it is an inconvenience to me. I’m 39+1.
So family member takes the piss with requests, going to the shop, lifts here there and everywhere, only recently discovered I was collecting their child from nursery (under the assumption family member was at college) but actually was sat at home and didn’t want to make the journey down to nursery and back and as I drive it was way more convenient for me to hop in the car with my back and be lifting kids in and out of my car.
Anyway, family member has rang me twice today for favours. 1. Babysitting for an hour 2. Go to the shop. Ignored them.
Now put the guilt trip on me asking me to take child to nursery at 8am as family member is unwell. I don’t want to do it. I take my parter to work at 5.30am as he doesn’t drive and he is working over time for our family for Christmas so I will help out where I’m able to.
I find it so god damn cheeky to be hassled day in day out for tasks that they can do themselves and if I wasn’t on maternity leave, would their world fall apart? It seems so!
Aibu to say no? Or turn my phone off and pretend I’ve slept in so oops can’t take them?
Aibu to send a message saying: you’re going to have to stop asking me for all these favours because it’s getting too much, if you’ve forgotten I’m a week away from giving birth and I don’t need to be hounded by you with requests for a lift to location A,b and c and to collect little Jonny from nursery and call into the shop for some milk on my way back home.
Does it come across too arsy? Coz I’m seriously annoyed with it all. Family member actually said to me today ‘well you need to start building up some favours coz I’ll have your child for you if you need me to’ !!!!!! Pardon?! Is this in addition to all the other bastard favours I do for you and the promises of petrol money that never materialise?
Lillygolightly · 25/11/2019 23:16
You say sorry I’m an unable to help you with any more favours for the time being. I am a week away or less from giving birth and I really need this time to rest and organise and prepare for my little ones arrival. I suggest you think about sorting someone else out to help you if needed because I am going to be unable for quite some time as will not be available for favours following the birth of my baby.
Be polite but do not apologise as a firm hand is needed and the sooner this person understands that you are no longer going to be helping out the better. Trust me when I say if you feel like this about doing these favours now you really are not going to want to do them after the birth. If they stop asking all the better and you don’t need to feel guilty about it and nor should you.
Cantsayno · 25/11/2019 23:16
I explained I’m up early to take my partner but they still had no shame in asking if I can get out of bed for 8am (I like to go back to sleep once I’ve come home and my sleeping pattern is up the wall at the min)
She’s quite feisty so it will be an argument but I honestly don’t know how much more I can take. All I ever seem to do is complain to my partner about her bet he’s fed up of hearing it
tympanic · 25/11/2019 23:17
Is this your first child, OP? If so, you’re going to find you’ll abruptly put your foot down once he/she is born. Your child will become the most important person in your life and you’ll really start to realise you’ll need to be more discriminating about how you spend your precious time and energy. I say this as someone who was very much like you before I had my child and (strangely) didn’t actually think much of it. I do now!
It’s one thing to help friends and family where and when you can, but not once it reaches the point of them taking the piss. Their reaction to you turning them down will be very telling.
Tell your family member no. She’s sick? So what. You’re heavily pregnant. How does her sickness trump your being heavily pregnant exactly?! It’s time to focus on you ahead of the birth. Stay in and relax. Reserve your energy. Seriously.
MovinOnUp · 25/11/2019 23:19
I would say doctor has you on bed rest until birth as you have been overdoing it lately.
Then ask her to go to the shop, Come round and tie your shoelaces and ......hmm what other things could you have her do for you?
In all seriousness though, You do need your rest and she is massively taking the piss.
IdleBet · 25/11/2019 23:19
She’s quite feisty so it will be an argument but I honestly don’t know how much more I can take. All I ever seem to do is complain to my partner about her bet he’s fed up of hearing it
Time to stand up for yourself. So what if she gets in a huff. Stop being a doormat.
Cantsayno · 25/11/2019 23:23
Oh no that would be asking too much. Infact it wouldn’t it would be welcomed as she would be able to log onto my wifi, feed her child from my cupboards, heat herself and have a good old nosy through my belongings and ask me if I have taken said object from her house and then ask me to show proof of purchase 😂 and no I’m not joking! CF at its best!
TechnicalSergeantGarp · 25/11/2019 23:27
You have to change.
"Oh well, hope you get sorted" might be a good response. Just send a text saying you can't help anymore and not to bother you. Don't say "at the moment" or "we'll see again after the baby is here" = no more.
After the running around you've been doing you are owed some support back, though I'm not sure I'd trust them to help.
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