Saving seats in train

[managedmis]

Every morning a woman on my train saves her mate a seat. Every morning the train is rammed and loads of people ask her to move her bag but she refuses and saves she saving it for her pal, who eventually shows up. People end up standing, the seat free, then pal arrives. I've seen a couple of people ignore her, move the bag and plump down in the seat, the entire train almost cheered.

What's the protocol here?

I loved a conductors once who came on the tannoy and announced ‘....as this is a busy commuter service there should be no items on seats that are not a customers backside. Should you have luggage, bags, coats etc on a seat remove it immediately. Any person with an item taking up a seat will be charged a full return fare for it!...’ hero!

Just tell her saving seats is not permitted, ask her to move her bag, and if she refuses, pick it up and put on her lap. Ignore any eyeroll.

I'm often surprised on busy London buses how few people will ask someone to move their bag, or move up if they're sitting on an aisle seat. The person is usually either glued to their phone, or else pretending to be, so that they can seem to be unaware of people standing.
Asking them to move up or shift their bag never bothers me. They can huff/eye roll all they like, although to be fair, most don't do it.

When younger I wouldn't have dared but I'm a bit bolder now. Having said that, it's a risk someone will kick off and get violent/abusive. From what you've said, in this case you know from her previous reactions she's just cheeky and not a maniac so I would just move the bag to sit, or if you have a seat and see someone else ask if it's free and her say she's saving it, I would interject loudly that as her friend doesn't get on until XXX stop so you're sure she won't mind moving it. It would drive me mad watching that every day

Ah yes, being older & bolder is great, isn't it?

I do admit to not liking to be too far from the door, so as soon as I spot a seat I'm on it tbh.

Last time it was a guy in a suit, laptop & papers all over the table & a bag on the seat.

I just said excuse me & he moved his bag & got up /& put my luggage up on the rack for me.

Also offered to get my luggage down when he got off!

I think a lot of people do take up seats in the hope that people won't say anything, but are perfectly reasonable when asked.

I wouldn't have the nerve to save a seat!

I just ask if someone is sitting there and wait until they shift it. I'm happy to plonk my 14st on any bag left unclaimed though.

As a daily commuter along with DH, this drives us both up the wall!

I was going home with DH one evening, got on train and young chap had his bag on the seat.

DH - 'there's a seat - can you move your bag so my wife can sit down'

Young Bloke - 'sorry, but I'm saving that for my girlfriend, she's getting on at the next stop'

DH dumps bag on his lap and says 'that's ok, when she gets on you can give her your seat'

Young bloke - 'You can't do that'

Conductor who came up behind us unnoticed says to Young bloke - 'actually, if he hadn't done it, I would'

Job done!

I’d ask her to move it or I’d move it for her.

Cheeky mare

MOVE the bag every single time..

CleansUpDragonPoo, "oriental" is considered an offensive term. And I don't see what their ethnicity had to do with anything anyway?

oh FFS

I'd ask her to see the bag's ticket seeing as it's taking a seat up.

I don't commute regularly by train any more but was never afraid to ask someone to move a bag/coat etc if needed. Generally never had an issue and people were happy to comply. The one time I did get a huff and an eye roll I said

"It's called public transport for a reason - get a taxi if you don't like it and don't fucking huff at me again"

Very calm and polite though I guess I lost the moral high ground when I swore I just hate passive aggressive bullshit like that and find as I get older I'm far more likely to challenge it as I give zero fucks.

Let us know how you get on OP!

CleansUpDragonPoo
'Oriental' is an offensive term for Asian people.
Was there any relevance to their ethnicity other than to parade your bigotry for all of us to observe?

This is great stuff. More people should stand up for themselves against seat-hoggers.

I am on busy commuter trains every day. I don’t waste time with niceties when somebody has a bag on a seat: seats are valuable commodities round here.

Me: “Move your bag, please.”

Seat-hogger (of whom there are loads) example responses:

• “no need to be snappish!”

• deep sigh and eye roll.

• ignores the request.

My response to the first and second is, “you must know that this is a busy commuter train and you shouldn’t need to be asked to move your bag”

In the third case, I say, “move your bag, please” one more time, then pick it up and put it on the floor next to the owner’s feet. Their response is usually, “you can’t do that!”, to which I say, “I just did!”. Then I snigger inwardly as they glower at me for the rest of the journey. Ha ha ha.

I'd ask her to move the bag, if she didn't I'd just start moving to sit on it and if she didn't move it I'd move it myself.

If you're not willing to just take charge here and move the thing, then you can't really moan about it because all the people not doing anything about it are the reason she keeps doing it!

Woman "My husband's sitting there!"
Patty "Oh? He must be very small - I didn't see him

I’m so going to steal this 😂

"Oriental"?

Can't have Johnny Forriner coming here taking our seats, can we!

I have just sat on bags before now. Amazing how quickly people move their possessions when my arse is about to squash them!

Even if the seat were officially reserved, there is no reason why someone couldn't sit there until the person with the reservation turns up - shortly after stop x - reservations generally being from stop x to stop y. Unreserved, seat is fair game.

Ignore her just move them and sit down

@CleansUpDragonPoo

We were a group of 4 pensioners but two Oriental tourists pushed past us and grabbed the table for 4 we were about to sit down, very creakily

Totally lost all my sympathy with your use of ‘Oriental’. No, just no.

Even if there where other available seats I'd sit in her saved seat every single day. Just tell her to move her bag or it will be sat on. Just out of principal. I can be stubborn and I'm sure she would get the point before I bored of doing it.

CleansUpDragonPoo

We were a group of 4 pensioners but two Oriental tourists pushed past us and grabbed the table for 4 we were about to sit down, very creakily

Totally lost all my sympathy with your use of ‘Oriental’. No, just no.
Yup, the anecdote minus Oriental would have been sufficient.

This would drive me demented OP !

I commute on a hugely busy line, on trains where people often have a lot of luggage, but the stupid (new) trains were built without ANY proper luggage space. The number of entitled twats who think it’s OK to block a seat with their suitcase/s when they should put them in the vestibule at the end of the carriage boils my piss on a daily basis. It’s pure selfishness. Have their suitcases got tickets (costing upwards of £20 at peak time)? No? Then they can’t have a seat while other passengers stand!

And this is despite the ‘train managers’ regularly telling people not to block seats with luggage...

I would instantly say "sit down!", but I must caveat that with not always because of an incident I had.

Husband and I got on a train, found 2 seats next to each other, tried to load our bags in suitable places but one bag wouldn't fit. I sat down, my husband went down to the end of the carriage again to put the bag in those luggage areas, and a woman who was walking up behind him - and saw him and passed him! - went to sit in his seat. I pointed out it was already taken by my husband, and pointed to him, she shrugged, and went to sit down. I physically jumped across to block her and said "No." She tried to sit down and we ended up in this strange blocking-pushing tussle until Husband went round her and sat down in his seat.

So in most common sense (where is that nowadays?) situations, the answer would be Every Time, but nowadays we do have some exceptions when the behaviour of others needs it spelling out. So if the seat is already "bagged" by somebody because they're physically around (cafe, toilet, luggage area) but the seat is physically empty for seconds/minutes then no, you don't sit down.

Rest of time, sit away. Next time OP have a word with the conductor and point out what this lady does and they need to have a word.