Partner didn't come home last night

[princessconsuelabananahammock2]

He went out for a drink after work, as he normally does on a Friday, he'll usually have one and then drive home. I hadn't heard from him in a while (which is unusual as he's normally back by 6) so sent a nice message just asking him to let me know he's ok and what time he's expecting to be back. Got a reply a few hours later saying his phone was dead, he'd just charged it and that he'd be back soon. I replied saying I was going to bed. I haven't heard anything since.

I've been restless all night wondering where the hell he is. I sent a message at midnight asking him if he'd like to tell me where he is?!!?!! No reply. I'm fuming. I've got awful pregnancy sickness, I'm knackered and then this idiot decides to do this.

AIBU to think he's behaved like an absolute cock?

Can you look at his phone later without him knowing and see where it tracked him as being at last night. I don’t know how to do this but perhaps others can advise?

I’d be suss if the phone died thing have you got friend finder turned on?

Men are generally pretty predictable when, suddenly and out of the blue, they completely change their normal patterns of behaviour. A wife who loves her husband will obviously want to scrabble around in the dark looking for alternative explanations, or believe any plausible ones he gives her. But in this position I'd be looking at the most immediately obvious explanation, I'm afraid.

For me the deal-breaker would have already come in that he's done this to a pregnant partner before. Ill-treatment in pregnancy is a huge red flag as an indicator of potential abuse. It's a documented fact that pregnancy is a trigger for the start of emotional and domestic abuse.

OP: if your inclination is to get rid of this man, please don't let your pregnancy stop you. It will make matters worse instead of better in the long-term. Really sorry that your disrespectful 'partner' has chosen to put you through this. You deserve better

phone was dead, he'd just charged it and that he'd be back soon
Really?

Agree if he is driving I would be calling the police now, with his reg number. He will still be too drunk to drive.

Did he shower when he got in?

So I went out when he left to collect his son. He messaged as soon as he got back and realised I wasn't there, begging me to go home and talk, apologising profusely etc etc

Asked him for the truth, he'd taken coke, drove home and slept in his car at the end of the road because he didn't dare come in.

We've not had a chance to properly talk yet because the kids are here. I've told him I feel hurt that he has lied, ignored and gone behind my back with something he knows I feel very strongly about.

He's cried and begged forgiveness. I don't know what to think right now. And morning sickness is killing me this afternoon

That’s quite a big shift from his usual drink after work on a Friday then drive home. I would guess the coke is less of a one-off than he might be suggesting. You poor thing, OP.

I still wouldn't believe his full story. If he drove to the end of the road last night (pissed and coked) and slept in the car why not drive the car the rest of the way home this morning, when he'd be less pissed and coked? Why walk home from the end of the road?

He's still not giving you the full truth. And he's "admitting" something to appease you. Tears steaks classic, and predictable. The cynic on me is thinking he's begging you to come home so you there to look after his son for him.

*tears are classic

His lips are moving , he is lying.

Not sure that his "story" makes much sense.

go and pick up your step son and take him out for a hot chocolate and a cake and let your dh feel human again

And while you’re at it, run your poor DP a hot bath, make him some nourishing soup from scratch and let him lie on the sofa all day wearing a soothing eye mask while you rub his feet.

He's full of shit. Too scared to come in?! But he wasn't bothered rolling in at 8am or so? He's been out cheating and is assuming you'll turn a blind eye because you're pregnant and stuck with him. Sorry op. Ltb.

I read your original post and my heart dropped. I don't want you to assume the worst but when my partner did this before, he was sleeping with his ex girlfriend.

Full of shit op. He was wankered and probably shagging someone else.

Oh darling this brought back horrific memories, it’s all downhill from here, you can’t trust that story or him and the next time he goes out or is AWOL you won’t be able to get this out of your mind. It’s heartbreaking, I know, but you say you left your ex for this reason, you’re not stupid. I honestly hope you have plenty of support elsewhere xx

Please don't let people convince you he cheated. They don't know him and have no proof.
Check the location settings on his phone.

How did he charge his phone? Why the hell would he drive home in that state?

I'm sorry he's the father of your child op. Even if he never pulls this shit again you will always be worrying about what he's doing. Do you believe the coke story?

Dump him.

I would suspect cheating given his past and if so, he has put you massively at risk being pregnant. But that aside, it would be a deal breaker for me, taking coke and driving home. One of my friends was almost killed by someone who did that.

Asked him for the truth, he'd taken coke, drove home and slept in his car at the end of the road because he didn't dare come in

And thusly blaming you.

This is as good as it gets OP. Time to plan and execute your getaway.

I smell bs. Drink driving is deplorable anyway, dump him for that if nothing else. The crocodile tears are so you'll drop the subject. Sorry OP, but history repeats itself all too often.....

Asked him for the truth, he'd taken coke
Yup, thought so. How disappointing for you OP.

He's cried and begged forgiveness. I don't know what to think right now.
You don't have to do or think about anything but enjoying your weekend right now. You don;t even have to discuss it if you don;t feel like it. When YOU are good & ready you need to have The Discussion - but don't get railroaded into tedious explanations & apologies & waffle if you don;t want to hear it.
The Discussion is of couse "that was your last strike" ... even ONE nore instance & we are done."