Partner didn't come home last night

[princessconsuelabananahammock2]

He went out for a drink after work, as he normally does on a Friday, he'll usually have one and then drive home. I hadn't heard from him in a while (which is unusual as he's normally back by 6) so sent a nice message just asking him to let me know he's ok and what time he's expecting to be back. Got a reply a few hours later saying his phone was dead, he'd just charged it and that he'd be back soon. I replied saying I was going to bed. I haven't heard anything since.

I've been restless all night wondering where the hell he is. I sent a message at midnight asking him if he'd like to tell me where he is?!!?!! No reply. I'm fuming. I've got awful pregnancy sickness, I'm knackered and then this idiot decides to do this.

AIBU to think he's behaved like an absolute cock?

Tell. Him. To. Leave. Man's a waste of space.

That being said one repeat episode and I'll have no qualms sending him on his way

What are your misgivings now? You obviously choose to stay with your boyfriend so must be getting something out of this.

Typical that he's replaced most of my appliances so he will want to take them

Who needs self-worth when you’ve got a new fridge, eh?

What everyone else said. He’s well past the point of no return. Get rid for the sake of your family, your health and your self respect.

Ah, of course he will flip it around to making you the one with the problem (not him). That sounds familiar. Because - of course - you naturally forced him at gun point to behave like he did (sorry, I'm being sarcastic).

Follow what your gut tells you, end it. You've spent the night wondering and worrying about where he's disappeared off to. It's a horrible feeling. One year on, and I love the fact that I don't have to worry about any of this sort of nonsense again. Seriously, I felt a real weight being thrown of my shoulders.

Maybe see if your family can help you out with replacing appliances? Or look on freecycle for stuff? Don't let that stop you from finishing things. He knew your stance on things but went ahead and carried on with the bad behaviour. x

Sounds like an idiot..

@Glentherednosedbattleostrich that response is spot on

Man’s an arsehole and he’s trying to blame you - typical abusive behaviour. Tell him to beat it and if he wants his washing machine back to take a hike. You, your children and your unborn twins deserve better than this.

"I've got to end it but don't know how."

I am done with you behaving like a man child, taking drugs, gaslighting me and generally being a disrespectful arsehole. Me and our children deserve better and that's what we shall be without you. Please have your bags packed by X o'clock. No need to leave your key as the locks are being changed. We will sort access to the children once you are settled in your new home.

Oh gosh this happened to me 36 weeks pregnant. I thought he went to see his children from previous relationship. He didn't. I only find out because I had craps and I thought I went to early labour and I couldn't reach him. I messaged to her ex and she said he is not there. I even messed him that I don't think he went to see the children the night before and he said why I think that and it's bollocks. The stress, the anger the rage I felt. You don't wanna hear me when I finally reached him and I swear I shouted at least for 10 minutes without a break. He got angry at me why I'm a bothering him. I was at home 36 weeks pregnant and looking after our DS 10 months old as well while having contractions and scared as heck the baby would come early and couldn't reach him at all and lying to me about his whereabouts. It took him 3 hours to get to the hospital and I took a taxi with my little one there. I completely ignored him. He said he had done nothing wrong and it's my fault he took drugs because of the constant arguments and he needed to relax. He was indeed in his mates place and taking that shit. He used our money for rent, he fuck us up big time. Anyway we had been thight on money and after this all just crush down. I told him to man up and fix everything or he loses me and the children. Ex wife didn't let him see the children after the lie and she was completely pissed for lying and taking drugs instead of seeing his children. The children were really upset with him. Anyway I didn't know what the fuck to do so I try to fix things but I was clear this can never happen again. Since then he took extra jobs on the weekend to fix everything and sort out some benefits for himself and kids I'm not eligible.
I cannot say everything was ok after this, I still don't trust him completely but I can see he is working his ass off to provide for us and fix everything. The think is man cannot take pressure like women, they tend to fuck up easily and do shit to make themselves feel better then realize the consequences later but still cannot admit their fault right away and try to get out of it.
I honestly say I don't respect him the same way as before. I told him it will take long time for me to forget and respect him again. It's been months and didn't happen again. As he knows I'm serious about not letting him into the children lives and he doesn't wanna lose his family.
Anyway, he has changed a lot since then, more carrying, more help and sorted out the finances. You have to look after yourself first and your children in this situation as he did it again and most probably he will do it again.

@PaperbackBlighter
Your reaction is horrible. It's not an easy thing to do and I don't understand begat a fucking fridge has anything to do with this situation. She was clearly worried that when they separate he will take everything and she will have to manage to buy everything all over again while pregnant with twins and being a single parent. You know a little bit of kindness won't hurt.
Being mean it's not helpful. For sure she is hurt and devastated. Sometimes I think people have no heart when talking like this to other people.

Sorry this has happened OP. For what it's worth, I share your view that relationships take work and forgiveness, and I despair at some of these posters who recommend divorce at the drop of a hat. However, this is no longer a one off mistake. He really can't be buggering off ignoring you while you're pregnant! Whether or not he's cheating it's still completely unacceptable. Stick to your word about not letting it happen twice.

When I was a bit younger I was no stranger to hard partying and particularly coke. You can very quickly and easily develop a habit. Long sessions cost hundreds of pounds and it makes you very selfish and out for what you can get so his friends won't be funding it for him. Probably not what he should be spending money on particularly at this time of year with children and a pregnant partner.

@brig93, you may not like my reaction but, to be honest, coming from someone with your sense of judgement, I’m glad you and I think nothing alike.

The think is man cannot take pressure like women, they tend to fuck up easily and do shit to make themselves feel better then realize the consequences later but still cannot admit their fault right away and try to get out of it

Keep telling yourself that.

How are doing, OP? It must be terribly upsetting going through this. He's really let you down.

Are you ok?

@PaperbackBlighter
My sense of judgement? I have been abused plenty times and every fucking time I try to get away I cannot because I have no fucking support anywhere! I have no support from government because im not British, he fucking knows that! Even tho he is and the children too I'm nothing here
That's why he doing what he wants! And yes this guy of mine cannot take pressure he fucks up every time something is happening.. simple things as car broken down he cannot handle without blaming others and fucking up something after that.he thinks life should be without any problems and issues but at the same time he is creating more!

I know plenty, been through a lot and try to survive until I can go to work just to have money of my own and get the fuck out. So judgemental my ass.