Partner didn't come home last night

[princessconsuelabananahammock2]

He went out for a drink after work, as he normally does on a Friday, he'll usually have one and then drive home. I hadn't heard from him in a while (which is unusual as he's normally back by 6) so sent a nice message just asking him to let me know he's ok and what time he's expecting to be back. Got a reply a few hours later saying his phone was dead, he'd just charged it and that he'd be back soon. I replied saying I was going to bed. I haven't heard anything since.

I've been restless all night wondering where the hell he is. I sent a message at midnight asking him if he'd like to tell me where he is?!!?!! No reply. I'm fuming. I've got awful pregnancy sickness, I'm knackered and then this idiot decides to do this.

AIBU to think he's behaved like an absolute cock?

PS just read about him sexually harassing you too. Sod all that!! He’s got to go!!!

I need to end it. I just don't know how.

“This is no longer working for me”

Princesses that’s another discussion go onto separation and divorce.
It’s not easy but you have to decide are you going to are you committed to ending it.
Many have ended it and lived a fulfilling life

"We're done. You need to leave by the end of today. I am not discussing it."

I agree with others. Whether it's coke or not is irrelevant.

Good luck OP

I guess, get ducks in row (ie knowing the practical stuff), and just say that you don’t want to be v with him anymore.

I know it’s easier said than done! And it was poss easier for me, as house was rented and I was breadwinner.

Sorry op that your in this position.

If it's your house in your name tell him he needs to go. Pack his stuff up and change the locks.

Call the non emergency police number and ask for advice about keeping him away.
Explain about the drug use.

What a wanker

Cocaine, the effects of it only last an hour unless he’s doing multiple lines I don’t think it’s drugs pretty sure it’s someone else. But a lot of people gave you good advice Lst time and you ripped their heads off so I’m unsure of how else we can support you

If hes on the Coke he will pens be sniffing a lot the next day or so or runny nose pretending he has a cold and I talk from my own experience of me doing it, on nights out we would all start it later on then be up all night, time flies and before you know it its 5am but you just cant stop. Sounds like that's what hes doing.

You don't need to end it. He's ended it. Move out, ignore his calls, texts, knocking at your Mums. It will eventually dawn on the thick asshole that you are miles above him and that you no longer want him in your life. Don't try and manage his thoughts.

Is it telling him or the practicalities that you don't know how to do?

Is he going to collect his young son under the influence again today?

Oh lovely, I'm sorry.

Well done for being so strong.

I'd suggest messaging him saying something like ...

I told you last time that I wouldn't tolerate you disappearing. I am pregnant with twins and they should be the priority. I don't care what you were doing your behaviour is unacceptable and our relationship is over. You have until 5pm today to get your things out of my house and leave all keys behind. I will not hesitate to have you removed if you fail to do so. I will not discuss this further and I will discuss only my pregnancy and the children via email. Do not contact me or I will consider this harassment.

Poor thing. Just reaching out as the thread seems quiet. You might want to start another one as this is very long (I only realised halfway through it was an old thread).

You can do this!

I need to end it. I just don't know how.

It's your house, isn't it? Put his things into a bin bag, leave them on the doorstep, change the lock.

It is my house but our belongings are combined. Typical that he's replaced most of my appliances so he will want to take them. He asked me yesterday to collect his son today, I won't be doing that. I could be wrong about what I'm thinking he's done but my gut tells me he's been on coke again

Glen's message is great. If it's your house, I'd be packing all his stuff, getting it out of the house and then having locks changed. See if family can help you out here. If you guys aren't married, then think long/hard about whether to have his name on birth certificates (you can always have it added later if you feel he's proved beyond all doubt that he's actually responsible).

Still don't know if he's at home. He's been active on social media again so he's clearly avoiding me, which is what he did last time

It really does not matter what he has taken or who he was with, he is selfish, has continued to let you down and become more abusive. You need to protect your dc including the baby by throwing him out.

You can break up with him for any reason, or no reason.

Just leave him. He's a total loser, and you can do so much better. Each time you accept him back, you're green-lighting more of the same behaviour.

he knows damn well he'd be gone if he tries to pull this shit again

Your words from upthread. He has ended it, not you. The rest is just practicalities. The house is yours....put him out. Appliances can be replaced.

Spoke to him. He can't tell me what he's been doing or why he's ignored me. Now saying he's done nothing wrong and asking what's wrong with me

So he turns everything around, not his problem, not his responsibility.

This really is the moment that defines everything. If you don't kick him out now, you've accepted this behaviour and it'll only get worse.