Partner didn't come home last night

[princessconsuelabananahammock2]

He went out for a drink after work, as he normally does on a Friday, he'll usually have one and then drive home. I hadn't heard from him in a while (which is unusual as he's normally back by 6) so sent a nice message just asking him to let me know he's ok and what time he's expecting to be back. Got a reply a few hours later saying his phone was dead, he'd just charged it and that he'd be back soon. I replied saying I was going to bed. I haven't heard anything since.

I've been restless all night wondering where the hell he is. I sent a message at midnight asking him if he'd like to tell me where he is?!!?!! No reply. I'm fuming. I've got awful pregnancy sickness, I'm knackered and then this idiot decides to do this.

AIBU to think he's behaved like an absolute cock?

Oh the typical my phone died, the non messaging excuses I think he’s cheated especially as he has form for it ! Sorry OP

Obviously premeditated too, as he had time to send the OP a message.

He was probably celebrating the fact that your pregnant, and acting dumb

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m so sorry, this is shit and I know how you feel. The first time my ex did this (after being together 3 years) the same thing happened, phone was off, no communication, rolled in at 10am. He had cheated on me. Obviously yours might not have done but if he had just got wasted and decided to stay at his friends I feel like he would have communicated this. If he was cheating, he would be much more likely to just not message I think.

Yeah, totally notodontidae ... he "celebrated" the pregnancy of his last partner too.

Sorry, OP, he has form, waited until you were pregnant and stuck and this is the real him revealed. He already has you in service doing much of the caring for his son. Fuck this, really, he'll get worse from here, not better.

Do you regret putting up with as much as you did from your ex? Dont regret wasting more time on this one.

Whose name is your home in?
Do you have savings? Are your family close? How log were you planning for maternity leave? Time to make an exit plan.

Can you check with his friends before they have time to get a story straight? They probably won’t tell you if he cheated but they may have wildly different versions of events. And also speaking from experience, it’s easier to go through pregnancy and bringing up a baby alone than with an untrustworthy, disrespectful twat

I'm with Aragog.

Not OP's responsibility to give up her own plans and pull her exhausted, pregnant self together to sort out his child because he behaved like an irresponsible child. Again, by the sounds of it.

Is there another forum somewhere of men complaining about their wives staying out all night or is it just a peculiarly male trait to be a selfish git

'By accident ' ? Don't think so

And also speaking from experience, it’s easier to go through pregnancy and bringing up a baby alone than with an untrustworthy, disrespectful twat

Listen to this. Your instinct will be to stay and minimize this. My Ex cheated too and looking back it started while I was pregnant. How horrible is that? I think it’s a very worrying sign and a real red flag for later abuse.

I wouldn't collect his son. If you do that then there are no repercussions for him and he will carry on treating you that way. Let him sort out his own mess.

Dealbreaker for me.
If he can do this when you're pregnant he will do what he wants when the baby arrives.
He cheated on his first wife - it is likely it is just the his standard behaviour and it starts once he has "secured" his woman.
Even if he did not cheat it shows a total lack of respect/love for you.
I'd be asking him to leave. Better to start with your new baby without him, than have the additional trauma of his behaviour on top of a newborn.

So the OP is supposed to be happy that he didn’t drink and drive as though that is some sort of an achievement , be pleased that he was out “celebrating “ , and then take HIS toddler along to the cinema on an outing that is planned for her and her child alone ?
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Op I hope you manage to have a nice time in the cinema with your dd.

I don't understand why someone would be a twat to someone they loved to teach him a lesson. They're not your child or possessions - and it's a one off.

Ok let's put aside that he's treated the OP disrespectfully. Let's say that doesn't matter

To do this knowing you have a 3 year old to care for today? That's ok in your book @fizzypoo?

I know I’ll get flamed for this but I’d be checking his phone!

@Vulpine exactly! I have never known a woman to pull this kind of stunt ever?!

I know I’ll get flamed for this but I’d be checking his phone! I would too. I think this is a clear case of emotional ‘danger’ - and you need to protect yourself.

Also, sorry to say however it was only later when I went for an STD check after ex had cheated so many times, that I realized with some horror that by sleeping with other women (although he still denies this) - I could have caught an STD whilst pregnant and put me and the baby at huge risk.

This is serious. I wouldn’t be sleeping with him again OP. There are enough warning signs and your number one concern is your and your babies health.

This would be a deal breaker for me. Zero respect for you, his son or the baby your carrying.

I've gone out and ended up staying too long and drinking too much. But I've done this keeping DH informed AND knowing that there are no plans the next day that are going to be ruined by my hangover!

How did he charge his phone up in the middle of a night out?
Hope you're ok OP

He’s not going to be in a fit state to look after a 3 year old. Leave him to it. It’s his mess to sort out.

That's just a massive lack of respect, especially the fact he doesn't seem overly bothered today even if it was innocent

I am so sorry OP, this would be my worst nightmare

I do know of so many men who have done this and I can vouch they were completely faithful.
I know one who got smashed at Friday drinks, he slept in the office (missed his son's birthday!!!)
I know a few who have just got drunk and slept at a friends. Sometimes seeing their other half calling but realising they won't go home as they are too gone and deciding to deal with it in the morning.

He may not have cheated.

I wouldn't collect his son op but I would contact the ex and let her know why. As much as it's your partner's mess, it would be terrible to have your stepson waiting on him like that. His ex will deal with him in her own way I'm sure.

I should have checked his phone. He got up and went out. So now I won't get a chance. I'll ask him outright later.

Good luck with it op. Hope you enjoy your day with your dd