Partner didn't come home last night

[princessconsuelabananahammock2]

He went out for a drink after work, as he normally does on a Friday, he'll usually have one and then drive home. I hadn't heard from him in a while (which is unusual as he's normally back by 6) so sent a nice message just asking him to let me know he's ok and what time he's expecting to be back. Got a reply a few hours later saying his phone was dead, he'd just charged it and that he'd be back soon. I replied saying I was going to bed. I haven't heard anything since.

I've been restless all night wondering where the hell he is. I sent a message at midnight asking him if he'd like to tell me where he is?!!?!! No reply. I'm fuming. I've got awful pregnancy sickness, I'm knackered and then this idiot decides to do this.

AIBU to think he's behaved like an absolute cock?

@Jeeperscreepers69 care to share who your aiming that remark at??

Reading jeeperscreepers previous comments I think he may have some ‘issues’ of his own! 😂

I’m sorry but I think he has cheated.
His phone goes off as he’s with another woman. He nips to the loo and sends you a holding message then phone goes off again. He gets more p!ssed and ends up shagging this woman. May also have involved drugs.
Wakes up, panics and gets home. First says he’s spent night at friends, realises he hasn’t sorted out a cover story with his mates so the story changed to a night in his car.
His story screams bs. Sorry op, I hope I’m wrong. Good luck x

Hugs. It's shit having the rug tugged from under your feet especially when you are pg. But this is your new reality. And only you know him well enough to make the judgement of whether he deserves another chance. People do fuck up. In the grand scheme of things it's not the biggest fuck up - if you believe he has told you the whole truth. But it is still a massive fuck up because he's been incredibly selfish and disrespectful. He's shown what he's capable of if left to his own devices. And at least you know sooner rather than later. Gather your thoughts, put your kids first and make up your mind in your own time. X

Why is no one considering the possibility that he got arrested? Drink or drug driving? Affray? Drunk and disorderly?
Sounds about right to me. Released when he’d sobered up. Be on the lookout for court date paperwork OP.

@MontyPants i think if it had been any of them he would’ve admitted to her immediately! I’m sure he would rather her know than for her to think the worst! And besides if he had have been arrested he surely wouldn’t have been released so soon! It would’ve been at least late afternoon early evening before being released!

Perhaps he felt like he couldn’t be honest with you about wanting a proper night out cos ur so uptight and dramatic. Seem so anyways .

@Imjustsolost

You're punishing his child by not collecting him.

How? How is OP doing that? His father is punishing his son by being thoughtless. It’s not OP’s responsibility to sort the man child’s mess out.

@Myarose1234 I'm not sure having a moral compass and having an issue with their partner taking illegal drugs/lying - and then being around young children - makes someone uptight and dramatic if he wants to act like a single man with no responsibilities then perhaps he should have stayed a single man with no responsibilities...

Nope

Big hugs.

You know him better than us, just do what you need to do for now.

Ignore the MN relationship gurus and go with your queasy gut. Any more crap out of him, just sling him out.

The only thing I will say: find out what he was really taking because he shouldn't be on that come down from coke, it sounds more like speed or E's to me.

Best of luck.

If You think it's crap report instead of making remarks you think are oblique and clever when they aren't.

I can’t believe you’re only staying with him because of the twins.

Imagine if his behaviour brought SS to your door, it’s very likely it could- especially with how he is driving under the influence.

Why would you risk that?

It's also embarrassing the posters stating as if fact that he has cheated. You don't know that and the OP doesn't need people delighting in her misery and stating such unproven shit.

@Jellybeansincognito it's the first time he's let her down and she's giving him a second chance.

Have you ever brought up twins as a single parent? I can't imagine it's the kind of thing you do through choice.

Don't collect his son. Don't lose the plot. Leave the house and go to a friend's he doesn't know, or check into a hotel. Turn off your phone and do not turn it on until you go home tomorrow morning without explanation.

Do you want someone who takes drugs around your children?

@GiveHerHellFromUs it sounds like the alternative is being a single parent to them anyway whilst her partner is out snorting coke or even worse- him driving under the influence and being caught leading to removal of children in her care because of the drugs and no effort at protecting the children from this.

It’s not just the drug taking, this guy lacks responsibility. He not only took drugs, but he has driven under the influence with a 3 year old child in the car, after being out all night also. That child and everyone else using the roads were put at risk.

Firstly OP, I’m so sorry that you’re going thru this right now, being pg and just on the run up to Christmas.
Let me just say, something very similar happened to me almost 3 years ago to today. I threw him out, had a great Christmas but in grey dawn of NY I took him back, married him later that year. Within 12 months I was filing for divorce because I could never get over what had happened, he never told me the truth (I found out from other sources much later on) AND he never spoke about it or went to counselling as promised. By marrying me I became his captive and his behaviour just worsened. He felt that because he’d got away with it initially that gave him license to do it again.
I wish that I had stuck to my guns and that my mistakes would be an example to any and every woman contemplating a future with any man who cheats (in any way)
3 years on, I sleep better, worry less and feel so much brighter.
Good luck with whatever you decide OP and with your twins xx

Am I the only one picking up that he drinks and drives???!!! What an idiot

He took a line, took some more and then made a complete arse of it. Time ran away with him. Suns up. He shites himself when he realises the time. Drives home. Hasn't slept. Major comedown. Boozy blues. Feeling guilty. Cries. Probably won't do it again.

@linsey2581 no

he drove to the end of the road after taking coke. why didn't he just sleep in the car wherever he was doesn't make sense

Just because he’s cheated once doesn’t mean he’ll cheat again

Well I wouldn't give a cheater a chance to do it again, but that's just me.

Jeepers, I think you've had enough internet for today.

Don't let him drive son if drinking all night as he will still be over limit. He is being a dick. When he is sobercsit him down and let him know what is and isn't acceptable behaviour.