Partner didn't come home last night

[princessconsuelabananahammock2]

He went out for a drink after work, as he normally does on a Friday, he'll usually have one and then drive home. I hadn't heard from him in a while (which is unusual as he's normally back by 6) so sent a nice message just asking him to let me know he's ok and what time he's expecting to be back. Got a reply a few hours later saying his phone was dead, he'd just charged it and that he'd be back soon. I replied saying I was going to bed. I haven't heard anything since.

I've been restless all night wondering where the hell he is. I sent a message at midnight asking him if he'd like to tell me where he is?!!?!! No reply. I'm fuming. I've got awful pregnancy sickness, I'm knackered and then this idiot decides to do this.

AIBU to think he's behaved like an absolute cock?

Waste of space. His son not yours why did ex leave him. Sorry sounds like a manchild.

Hes a shhhhhhaaaaggger

Oh and fuck off with the faux innocence about the term not being offensive "where I live" mind you it probably isn't offensive in a cave or under a bridge

As someone who has spent many year with someone with a drug problem, he didn’t have just one line he got on it all night prob into the early hours of the morning, he be on a come down for days now 2-3 normally. What ever you chose to do is your choice but I’ve been there and had the psycho threats and come down I’ve been beaten up and broken promises drug rule there life drink and drugs go hand in hand if you have a drug problem you can’t drink and not touch coke

Did he cheat on his son’s mother ? With you? How old is his son? If he’s left one woman with a baby you can assume he’ll leave another

If you're having twins I would think very seriously before kicking him out. Twins are tough enough for two parents, but going it alone will be so hard. Even a crap dad around in the background might be better than none.

It sounds like he hasn't quite grown up yet and realised the impact of his behaviour.

But there is hope if he understands that it wasn't acceptable. He might have alcohol or substance abuse problems, but they might come and go.

I'm not making excuses for him but I'm thinking if you coping with twins.

I don’t do drugs but I know some that do and yes he’s pretty comfortable with drugs if he did more than one line of coke! Whether he cheated or not tbh he went out only thinking of himself with a pregnant gf at home. What a shitbag.
Yes we can all have too much and get carried away but I’d expect to be told - I’ve had a neckfull and I’m staying out. Simple isn’t it.
Beautiful your expecting twins. Shame they are his. Good if you to pick his little boy up it’s not his fault and would only feel rejected if missed out.
Good luck

Ok well as previously stated, I never meant any offence and I certainly didn't know it was related to those with Downs Syndrome.

Is his name James by any chance!? This was a regular occurrence with my ex - always an excuse, always someone else's fault or his phone died etc.

He was sleeping with someone else.

If you have serious concerns about this mans ability to be a good husband and father to three children & he has a history of drugs and infidelity you really need to seriously consider ALL of your options ...being a single mother is so hard & with twins it would surely be exhausting !! Maybe you should have a private chat with his ex about what sort of man he really is and their relationship.....men can be very good at painting their exs as nutters to cover for their behaviour in the breakdown of a relationship where they've wallked away from their children & of course as the new love interest you would believe everything he said , but most exes with children only wanted a safe secure loving relationship ! You sound like an intelligent and lovely lady don't sell yourself short & as others have said gut instinct is rarely wrong

He’s out getting laid!

Now at this point I would’ve become a better detective than the FBI!!! Now some of you esp the men would probably disagree with half of what I’m going to say but if op other half is going to act like this then he deserves it!! Firstly trawl fb! Or any other social media sites he uses... you must know the friends he was with last night so also trawl there’s etc... tonight just be p*ssed off with him but say nothing! This will have more of an effect I can assure you! Then wait for him to go to sleep tonight get hold of his phone and go through it with fine tooth comb! If he’s deleted anything he probably would’ve forgot something somewhere!! Do you know where he left his car?? Also when asleep go look in his car! Any evidence he didn’t want you to find and couldn’t bin he will store in there (most men who act in this way are not the sharpest of tools) When trawling through his phone don’t forget to access his email account! Look in the trash folder! Recently deleted folder in his photos as they delete things but then forget to empty that folder too! Also if one of his friends have messaged him with incriminating substance then he prob would delete all messages from that person and not just individual messages which also indicates foul play! 😈 but most of all what is your gut feeling?! Go with your instinct as you’ll find it’s usually right. Is what he saying adding up?! If it don’t then there’s reasons for that! Take if from Someone with personal experience of this type of behaviour! But something else you’ve got to think about is do you want to know if the worst has happened? What will you do if you find out that he’s cheated?! What will you do if he hasn’t cheated but maybe has done more than he’s let on?! If you Deep down don’t want to know these Things then ignore all of the above and make his life hell for a day or two then try to forget! (Till next time that is) I feel for you it’s not a nice situation to be in, that gut wrenching feeling that makes you feel sick every time you think about it!! Not all men are the same and some just don’t think sometimes and get caught up in the moment but these types are usually so sorry for how they’ve behaved! You’ve got a lot of thinking to do and can only make decisions that’s right for YOU! What’s right for myself or joe bloggs up the road won’t be the same!! Good luck and I Really hope For your sake it’s just a momentary blip and he just didn’t think!! 🤗

He didn't cheat on his sons mother with me. He realises what he's done, I've made it clear that the only reason he's not slung out is because of the twins - it's going to be so tough and if this was just a big mistake then I have to give it a chance because I really really don't want to be a single parent to twins. That being said one repeat episode and I'll have no qualms sending him on his way

His history tells you he has issues with honesty and responsibility. Is it fair to your unborn children to saddle them with a father who might not be there for them? Is abortion an option? If it were me that’s what I’d do. We all know how stressful child rearing is- and if the emotional background is going to be this, it’s not good for you or the kids

Mong is a slang for Mongoloid which is an extremely outdated and considered now to be very offensive term for someone with Downs Syndrome. Similar to 'spastic' - once a widely used term for physical disabilities but now way beyond the pale, not least as it's used as an insult in itself.

God I grew up saying monging out and have only just twigged the connection. I would totally pull someone up for saying "you mong" . Feel bad that never thought of it before.

Just because he’s cheated once doesn’t mean he’ll cheat again

Men and women cheat and the main reason is they are simply not happy or happy enough

Men who are perfectly happy and in love with their partners don’t cheat. She cheated on all his past girlfriends but then settled immediately once he met me and proposed within the year and we’ve been married 20 years. He cheated previously simply because he didn’t love his ex enough not to

Same as why women cheat

Some People need to get a life!! This poor woman is going through enough atm so the fact she used a term which is a known term and was most definitely not said in an offensive way, at an highly emotional time for her, I think she can be forgiven!! I think she realises now how it could be perceived so leave the matter rest!!

Sorry but that’s just not on. What an absolute idiot, he best come up with a good excuse!
Hope yr okay.. x

It’s twins?????

Blimey.

@Jeeperscreepers69 who are you talking about ?

Agree with Dmstacey , some people are just thirsty for drama!!
it's very sad given that people going through terrible situations are here looking for a cross section of advice & support , yet there's always the sad bitter & bullying trolls

@Jeeperscreepers69 is that aimed at me?

@jeeperscreppers wtf?