To still be pissed off how I (and so many other women) are treated before/after birth?

[LyndzB]

How I was treated in hospital before and after the birth of my child still gets to me.

Things like...

1.when I'd had an epidural from a 3rd degree tear, I rang the nurses button for help. A nurse told me off and said I should've walked to reception as I wasn't ill. I had to explain I'd had an epidural.

1. Lying in blood stained sheets for 4 days, kept asking for fresh so I could change myself

1. Waiting 5 hours after birth for some food and water - couldn't move due to epidural

1. Being told my son was in NICU and they needed his vests. I had several bags with me and I couldn't for the life of me remember which one had vests in. I still couldn't move and the nurse got annoyed that I didn't know where they were. I'd just been told at that point he was in NICU and was worried sick.

I've read stories from women far worse than mine.

We just seem to accept it. Me included. I think we just want to get out, move on and enjoy our babies. But in the meantime nothing changes. I only see it getting worse.

The hard part is, it's difficult to criticise as I don't want to be seen criticising the nhs. I love the nhs. It's a wonderful invention. I know it's a funding issue and that nurses and doctors and porters and all staff are working so hard.

And I'm sure many women do have good experiences (as much as you can delivering a baby!)

I suppose I just want things to change for the better. I don't know where to start. And maybe it's just too much to ask for little old me!

Anyone else feel this way?

Britain gets it so bloody wrong because you don't fund the NHS properly. Australia is not perfect, but we're streets ahead of you guys

That's because in Australia the nursing/midwifery union actually has some teeth and this ensures staff are entitled to proper pay and conditions such as regular breaks and one-to-one care based on clinical requirements.

These stories are horrific. I had both my DC in an NHS facility. The first experience was okay but could have been a lot better... as per PP I also had a non-communicative midwife who basically sat there writing notes and offered no support, guidance or encouragement whilst I was in labour. Then I was kept in overnight as baby had jaundice so also experienced the trundling down the corridoor to get some toast and just being expected to get on with caring for a newborn despite never having done it before. The one saving grace was the wonderful breastfeeding consultant who checked in on me, saw I was struggling to feed and ensured that DS and I had the latch right prior to leaving for home. Second birth was in a midwife led birthing centre and was wonderful from start to finish.

Two children born in two different hospitals, emergency c section with first, planned c section with second. Care after delivery awful both times, I could write a book. If patients after major surgery were given a newborn to look after 24/7 people would be appauled but that’s what happens to women in maternity wards everyday with no support. It’s awful.

I wonder if we are supposed to be somewhat predisposed genetically/hormonally as women to minimise the full horror of childbirth so we in theory agree to have more children in the future.

If so does this then impact on women's decision sling processes to complain about maternity care other than in the worst case scenarios?

Again, if so, would there not be grounds for maternity providers to take this into account when evaluating complaints/ satisfaction/performance for maternity services under some kind of equality impact?

I know if I had received a questionnaire 3-6 months after giving birth I would have been a lot more blunt about the crap care I had than I was capable of being in the immediate aftermath.

And in the spirit of naming and shaming - that was at Birmingham heartlands.

Following the EMCS with DS2 , they wheeled me round to the post natal ward , where I was greeted with , 'where do you expect us to put that ?' They were angry because I couldn't work out how to move in my post surgery haze, surgery less than 4 hours earlier , so i was dragged across using the sheets , not a slide board, onto a normal hospital bed and then had a bed pack of bedding chucked on top of me and then left. Whoever put the catheter in forgot to inflate the balloon so it fell out and i ended up waking up in a pool of wee.
A lot of the staff appeared to be suffering from compassion fatigue, it really isn't hard to smile and try to be nice even why you are run off your feet, I was on mat leave from a very busy ward in the same hospital at the time, I knew how hard it could be, but still winced at the way some women were spoken to. I would never ever have spoken to any of my patients the way they did to some of those women.

Telling me I wouldn't have a problem with their general anaesthetic despite me telling them I had previously had a fit as I'd be so excited to meet my baby. I had a massive fit mid section so have a foot long scar and my baby was in scbu for three days until I was deemed safe to hold him. On discharge they told dvla and lost me my license.

brings back bad memories. EMCS after long and obstructed labour. Buzzer not accessible post OP, drip not working, desperately thirsty and forced to get out of bed (still woozy) from anaesthetic to rescue choking baby. Bitch midwife saw me, told me off; fetched me a thimble of water and huffily put the call bell on the bed Next day OH bought in bottled water and I drank 2 litres in one go, mopped up my own blood and worked out how to breastfeed without resting baby on sliced open abdomen. 2nd baby so confident about what to do but surrounded by first time mums receiving little support and tearful. no food for three days (abdominal surgery so not unusual). Wept when leaving the hospital as grateful to be alive - birth and aftercare grim. The whole thing was desperate. never forgotten. Contrast with gallstone operation a few years later - the NHS can do post operative care well but it doesn't work on maternity wards - staff are not properly trained or don't care.

i had my babies nearly 30 years ago and recieved excellent care. I am so worried for my daughters, and so concerned for all of you who have been treated so badly. Does anyone else think that midwives should have to complete full nursing training instead of this direct entry thing? I know there are funding/staffing issues in the NHS but something seems to have gone badly wrong and the profession seems to be attracting the wrong kind of people for the job. It feels as though some people are becoming midwives because they love babies or something and that the care of the post-natal mum isn't their job or something they want to do. When I remember how well I was looked after, fed, hydrated, supported to breast feed, the ward kept quiet/no visitors at certain times so we could (and did) rest. No one would have dreamed of wanting their partner there 24 hours because caring for women post-natally was something the midwives and ward assistants did and expected to do. I fear for my daughters, I really do, and I think there will be more scandals like the Shrewsbury one. What happens when women begin to die from 'puerperal fever' as they used to? I can't believe how many of you were left in such dirty, dangerous conditions! Is this how it is now?

My children are 12 and 10 , I still have vivid memories of some awful things that happened. I have been qualified as an adult nurse for over 27 years, giving birth was the first time I had been in hospital and I couldn't believe how vulnerable I felt. I have said a few times since that it's woman who are treated this way, a man with an abdominal wound would not be expected to get up and look after a tiny baby!
I had 2 forceps deliveries which is bad enough, a poor woman in the next bed had had an epidural, she was struggling to feed her baby, nobody came near her. I wish I'd complained more.

Go on Daily Mail, pick this one up, I dare ya.

It's topical too - Shrewsbury anyone?

I gave birth twice in Belgium. Epidural on demand (first time when I was 7cm dilated), 3 nights in hospital where my stitches were checked twice daily, had help latching on for each breastfeed and when DS1 was screaming all night the midwives took him away for cuddles between feeds so I could get some desperately needed sleep.

DS2 tongue tie was cut on day 2 after I asked doctors to do it. Midwives showed me how to bathe DS1 & change nappy (had never done one before).

My friends who gave birth in the UK have horror stories. The worst was a friend who gave birth at 2am, told to get a taxi home at 4am & go to GP the next morning for baby's first check up!!!! She was on the phone, re-dialling from 8am desperate to get GP appointment then sat in busy waiting room with a baby less than 12 hours old.

YANBU, I have one child for a reason. The treatment we received was horrific. It’s been 16 years and I still can’t watch anything about childbirth on TV. I leave the room.

Nichy that is just horrific about your friend, definitely cause for an official complaint.
My second child was born at 11 o'clock at night after a quick and for me traumatic birth- forceps and he was taken to special baby unit for a couple of hours for observation as they thought he'd aspirated. I couldn't believe it the next morning when they asked me if I wanted to go home. . I said I didn't feel ready- I still felt doped up with the diamorphine I'd been given during labour.
That night, didn't get any sleep due to poor screaming baby that the midwives didn't bother with. Needless to say I said I was going home the next day, think they do it deliberately so woman won't get too comfortable and want to stay.

Train midwives as nurses first then cross qualify into midwifery rather than allow direct entry midwives with zero nursing skills. This may help although bad attitude is something else.

Which actually is another thing most midwives are not and never have been nurses. Worrying

My experience of midwives was that they just lack the compassion that you generally get from nurses. Although some were absolutely lovely. But they were more of an exception. Whereas I've been in hospital a few times and found the poor nurses to be the exception.

After I gave birth (forceps after 30+ hours labour) at 11pm, my daughter was taken away to have an antibiotic drip inserted as I had a raised temperature during labour which can indicate infection.

I was wheeled to the postnatal ward and my partner told to leave. A doctor appeared two hours later with my daughter wrapped in a tiny towel and said "she is cold and hungry" and handed her to me. I had a spinal for the birth so was still immobile and had a catheter which was tangled in the bed. I couldn't move to reach my buzzer to get the midwife so was stuck laying in a bed covered in blood and god knows what else, with a screaming naked baby who was starving!!

I eventually managed to wrap her up in the bed cover to keep her warm and was trying to get her to latch on but couldn't. It was 6am before anyone popped their head in to see if we were ok. I've never felt so undignified in my life sitting in a hospital gown with no underwear on, blood stained sheets and a stranger rooting through my bags for baby clothes.

The breastfeeding support was awful. The lady got baby to latch on and left immediately. Of course, the baby had unlatched so I was back to square one. We ended up on formula because I couldn't get the hang of it and had no support at all.

All that being said I am very thankful to have the NHS and a safe delivery but the whole experience was traumatic, labour and postnatally (we stayed 3 nights after birth)

I have birth 11 weeks ago today and I cannot fault any of my midwives, drs or nurses. I was in for a few days and had a rough time with it. But they was all fantastic. Wasn't even the hospital I was supposed to go to as my closest one was full up. It was a bad experience but not due to the staff. The staff was amazing. First time mum as well.

I had a pretty crap experience and I dont mind naming and shaming the hospital.... It was Prince Charles hospital in Merthyr Tydfil, South Wales.
My waters broke at around 2am on monday morning, went to the ward to be monitored, was then sent home and told to come back in at 10pm if no contractions started so I could be induced, which I did. Pessary was inserted at about 1am. The next day at about 11 it fell out when i went to the toilet. No one was bothered, and I wasnt examined until about 6pm that evening, to which she said I didn't need another pessary as I was 2cm dilated. I told her I had been 2cm at my sweep a out 4 days earlier but she was adamant that I didn't need it. They eventually took me down to labour ward to start the drip at about 1am. By this time I'd been almost 48 hours since my waters had gone. They broke my waters and started the drip. I could hardly feel any contra tons at all but again I wasnt examined for 8 hours, and when they eventually did they said I was still only 2cm and my waters hadn't been broken properly. So they had to be broken again, this time by one of the anaesthetists (I think?) and my god she was brutal. I was crying and gripping the bed it was so painful. So that kicked everything off, and my dd was born 11 hours later. I also had a panic attack during the pushing stage, I couldn't breath and was crying but was told to basically stop making so much noise and get on with it. After the birth I was left in the delivery room alone for hours, bloodied sheets and naked from the waist down. I felt sick and I was shaking g so much I was scared I was going to drop my dd. No one was very concerned so they took me back to the ward where like alot of posters I was basically just left to get on with it, vomiting all night and in pain, I bled through my pad also and no clean sheets. Little support given for breastfeeding and was sent packing the next.
The following day my community midwife visited me at home and noticed my dd cord stump was abit red and I told her I was having real issues with feeding, and dd had only had a slight damp nappy so was told to go back in. About 5 mins after arriving back I was asked really rudely by a HCA why I'd gone home if she wasnt feeding properly.
Dd was then cannulated and admitted to the childrens ward, which wasnt much better. I was left to my own devices there too, was forced to pump breast milk and top up with formula, feeding every 3 hours. One that first night, dd started feeding well on bottles but still hadn't peed so a doctor came to put a catheter in her, obviously she screamed the placed down which upset me. the doctor shouted at me saying why are you crying I'm helping her!
We were in for almost a week with explanation of what was really going on. On her discharged notes it turned out she had sepsis and I wasnt even told. I honestly feel if they hurried up my induction the situation could have been avoided, and that first week struggling on my own when I should have been at home being supported by my dp and family I believe caused my pnd.
My mother works at a different NHS trust in england and she said that in the case of PROM every woman a d baby is given antibiotics even if they are not showing any signs of infection tion as a precaution which I think is a good idea. I've never felt more vulnerable or anonymous, and useless tbh.
I've also since found out that this hospital is under investigation for women receiving poor care and babies being lost because of it so I definitely wont be going there for baby no 2

That's because in Australia the nursing/midwifery union actually has some teeth and this ensures staff are entitled to proper pay and conditions such as regular breaks and one-to-one care based on clinical requirements.
And yet women here are still treated as a mere vessel
Having a union don't mean they provide better care, they still treat women like crap and then threaten strikes for better pay claiming patient care is at risk. What bloody patient care?

I was threatened, abused, belittled and assaulted in Adelaides biggest women's maternity hospital. I'm not the only one.
They killed my friends baby cos they refused to listen to her pleas of baby isn't moving. If they had listened and got baby out 3 days before there a strong chance baby would have survived, as the official reports state.
They expected another friend to birth alone. Her partner lived 2 hours away, running their business looking after their 2 other kids. Me, her mum and another mate demanded we stay at her request and if they wanted us to leave, get security.
Useless is the nicest thing in can say to them

I could bang on about this issue all day long. For me it was DC2 birth and postnatal experience that was the worst. Undiagnosed breech resulting in a c section, during which there was a major complication with the placenta. Due to this my stomach was black, looked as though I'd been assaulted. What did I get offered, paracetamol and ibuprofen, I needed those for just the bruising never mind the actual surgery. On top of that no one attempted to mobilise me and remove the catheter until 16 hours post op by which time I was sat in heavily blood stained sheets, even the ladies who came to clean up were shocked I'd been left like that. Obviously DH has been sent home hours earlier and I cried when he left. I understand why men are not allowed to stay overnight but to compensate staff need to attend to the needs of the patient, especially those who can't physically move yet are expected to manage a newborn. I begged to go home the next day because I just needed to be looked after by DH who was fantastic with both me and our DD.
Also don't get me started on the cleanliness of the toilets etc.

"If they want Mums to breastfeed, a little support wouldn't go amiss*

To be fair to the NHS, their job is to deliver your baby safely. The rest is really up to you. Having a baby is quite commonplace. Tens of thousands of women do it every day. Some find breast feeding easy, some don't

Nursing staff are busy in the.burns unit or dealing with a heart attack. That's what hospital nurses do, mostly.

...

@cheeryb I didn't say that nursing staff should be helping women to breastfeed, did I? There's an army of support workers, midwives and volunteer breastfeeding support workers but they're all in the community.
All that help is no use if you're stuck in hospital for a week after giving birth and you're not even allowed to take your baby to the "breastfeeding cafe" two doors away.

In fact, the way things currently are is that its left to the nurses in hospital to attempt to help Mums establish breastfeeding when they're not the experts in this area and they have other things to be doing (like nursing) simply because the support isn't there.

These stories are horrendous. Gosh it would be much better to have your baby at home as long as you could get to hospital easily if necessary. Community (District as they used to be called), Midwives would give a mother castor oil and orange juice to get things moving and those who did deliver babies in the home were very skilled and professional, could also be there with the mother for longer, monitoring and helping.

I could weep reading this thread.

Like a poster above, I don't mind naming and shaming; the dreadful in patient experience I had after a fairly minor accident was at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Woolwich. I'm not going there again in a hurry. I was even beginning to develop bed sores - it was at that point the staff listened to me, took me off the drips and the drugs (Chlorpromazine - for what???), sloughed off tissue, put antiseptic cream on me and - thankfully - discharged me after eight days of Hell. I was in a filthy state and could barely walk but once I was home, I made myself as comfortable as possible and gradually recovered. Physically. Mentally I am scarred, it was a difficult experience to get.

I was terribly upset to read about a new born baby being given a catheter. I suppose it was necessary at that time but it takes a lot of skill to catheterise an adult, never mind a tiny little one.

I think you are amazing women. If my son and his soon to be wife have a baby I'll move Heaven and earth to ensure they have good, private treatment. That's coming from someone who believes passionately in the NHS.