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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my 9 year old play Fortnite?

160 replies

Cultoffortnite · 22/11/2019 10:31

Having a debated with DP over this as our Year 5 boy is claiming to be the only one in his class not playing Fortnite, which means he's getting left out as his mates play online together. I know that several of his close friends DO play ( older siblings in the house playing).

DP can be a bit of a 'Disney' parent and wants DS to have Fortnite. I object on the grounds that :
it's a 1st person shooter game aimed at 12+
it's violence dressed up as something else
We have a Wii Switch and DS can play that
We're strict on gaming time - usually reserved for weekends and this will be another screen/game to be battling with over time played
DS behaviour has been quite challenging recently and I don't really thin

So wise women and men of Mumsnet - should I give in? I'm wavering I have to admit and wondering if I'm being too draconian and being THAT parent.

OP posts:
EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 22/11/2019 11:33

We have also put DS13 on a permanent Fortnite ban.

We were sick to the back teeth of the banging, shouting, destroying of controllers/headphones and general shitty aggressive behaviour.

This has been in place for about six weeks now and we have our lovely, kind, pleasant to be around son back, even his school work has improved.

I’d heartily recommend both even letting him start playing it OP, it caused murders in our house!

Original poster
Cultoffortnite · 22/11/2019 11:35

So it seems it's not really the weapons but I should be worrying about anyway but the addictive part...
Thanks for the comments, gives me something to think about...

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 22/11/2019 11:40

The addictive stuff is nonsense. All computer games are addictive. The problem is people who can't moderate their children's behaviour effectively or leave them sitting in front of a screen for too long.

DD and her friends play it. No issues.

SausageSimon · 22/11/2019 11:42

I allow my 6 year old on it, it's cartoon violence essentially. I turn off the feature that allows them to speak to other players aka strangers (or sometimes friends if added etc) which I think is a feature for much older children

With that switched off it's a great game we enjoy together

FishCanFly · 22/11/2019 11:42

i'm not keen on Fortnite. I try to lure my 10yo away from it with maybe more age inappropriate, but better quality content, single player games.

edwinbear · 22/11/2019 11:43

We allow DS (10) to play and he has been for a year or so. I concur with PP's about the behavior and addictive elements. We don't allow it during the week, but once he gets access at weekends it is a nightmare getting him off to go to sports commitments and do his homework. We also find he is rude, back chats and generally stroppy once he stops playing and he spends most the weekend trying to manipulate us to get home from wherever we may be, so he can get online again.

However, for some unknown reason we continue to put up with this and allow him to play because all his friends do and I worry about him being ostracised.

I don't have a problem with the game play, I don't find it violent per se and it is the most effective form of punishment. i.e if you don't do x or y there will be no Fortnite this weekend - works every time.

LolaDabestest · 22/11/2019 11:44

No not because of the killing but because t seriously can turn a child. My teenager is bored of it now but can be vile when on it....I have let my nearly 9 year old play it twice and both times he turned from a sweet child to a bossy, shouty little shit I think 9 is too young for any game/console mine can stick to roblox.

f00k · 22/11/2019 11:58

DS8 plays it on his Switch. We have the chat feature turned off so he can't speak or hear anyone else and he can't message anyone or receive messages. You don't die, you respawn and there's no blood. It's very cartoony and silly. We limit DS's time on it, so no addiction issues here. He loves it.

eastwest · 22/11/2019 12:02

I have heard lots of parents on social media appealing for help/ advice with their kids' behaviour on Fortnite. As soon as you suggest that this could be very easily sorted because they don't actually have to let them play it they get defensive. OTOH I have never heard a parent come on social media to say 'wow, I'm so glad my child plays Fortnite, it's brilliant for his mood and he seems a nicer, happier, more relaxed person since he started playing it. Wish I'd got him started on it years ago!' So YANBU .

Wallywobbles · 22/11/2019 12:05

I put a similar thread about a year ago. Really regret listening. Our 10 yo has withdrawn from family life, is obsessed with the bloody game.

He's gone from a charming helpful boy to completely the opposite.

At his DMs house he has a PS and she never sees him at all.

Galvantula · 22/11/2019 12:09

YANBU.

I'm that parent too. My ten year old isn't allowed to play Fortnite. More for the addictive qualities of the game, he already finds it hard when he needs to stop playing. The content may be cartoon, but it is a 12 and tbh I find that sticking mainly to age ratings (DH and I are gamers, so they may be allowed to play stuff with us if we know it) saves a lot of argument. I'm sure DS 1 started playing Minecraft a year before the age rating so we're not ultra strict. But they don't get 12/15/18 games really.

BlackSwanGreen · 22/11/2019 12:09

My year 5 DS plays it. He’s not addicted at all (often chooses to play with his hot wheels track instead), so I think the addictive element varies from child to child.

Galvantula · 22/11/2019 12:10

PS said ten year old got over it and hasn't asked to play it again for months, he's got plenty other games to play. :)

dreamingbohemian · 22/11/2019 12:20

We're fairly relaxed about gaming but we wouldn't allow our 9 year old to play fortnite, luckily he's not interested. Have seen too many serious issues among family and friends with fortnite specifically (not gaming generally). I know the social exclusion issue is tough though.

Venger · 22/11/2019 12:24

I have never heard a parent come on social media to say 'wow, I'm so glad my child plays Fortnite, it's brilliant for his mood and he seems a nicer, happier, more relaxed person since he started playing it. Wish I'd got him started on it years ago!'

I wouldn't go as far as to say that but my 10yo is autistic and has difficulties with social communication, interactions, initiating social contact, appropriate chit-chat, relating to peers, and so on. Playing Fortnite has helped him with his social skills as he plays it with kids from school and then those friendship links carry on in school, he never gets invited over to other kids houses and he hasn't been invited to a party in years but they've started inviting him to "meet" them in Fortnite to play together. Playing it gives him something to talk to other kids about and school have reported that instead of leaping on other kids or thumping them as a means of getting their attention in the yard he has started walking up to them and asking "do you play Fortnite?" then having a conversation about it. Yes, he tends to wedge himself into already existing conversations and he will talk about Fortnite whether they answer yes or no but its progress compared to where he was previously.

Original poster
Cultoffortnite · 22/11/2019 12:27

Thanks all. DS is claiming exclusion but He had a good grp of friends who he sees in and out of school who all play various other video games, collect Pokemon etc that he is a part of so I'm not sure how seriously to take his word on this. He's a popular kid with no end of play dates etc.

We have now told him he can play it at other friends houses if they're playing it but given that it's a 1 player/the others watch type thing I'm not sure how much that's happening when they can play Fifa or whatever together...

OP posts:
Original poster
Cultoffortnite · 22/11/2019 12:28

I am a gamer BTW so it's not like I expect DS to not play games ever or anything

OP posts:
Ravenrob · 22/11/2019 12:30

I used to refuse to let my DS have it because I was worried about it being addictive and violent. I gave in and got it and it's very cartoon-y and he only plays it about once a week, if that. I've played it myself a few times Grin

Original poster
Cultoffortnite · 22/11/2019 14:08

Turning the chat option off won't be an option I think as the whole point is he wants to be online the same time s friends. Although how we'll organise that I don't know as he doesn't have video games time during the week and none of them have phones. I don't fancy spending my time text parents to see if their kids is available and I;m not going to organise our weekend around being in to play Fortnite

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 22/11/2019 14:09

Yanbu my nearly 10 yr old doesn’t

dreichwinter · 22/11/2019 14:15

It was a craze at school when ds was 9/10. I didn't let he have it. There was much chuntering and then school sent out an email reminding parents of the age limit because it was causing school issues.
Several other dc were taken off it and then the craze became something else.
I would stand firm OP.

ClockworkRobin · 22/11/2019 14:18

It is up to you as a parent I suppose.

But I will say a few things.

  1. Fortnite is not a First person shooter its a 3rd person adventure/build game with shooting mechanics.
  2. Their is no blood
  3. The entire game is in a pixar cartoon style no realism.
  4. You dont die in fortnite. If you are 'eliminated a little robot comes and teleport the player back to the home screen theor is no death in the game you are simply teleported away.

As I said it is up to you. Fortnite is an adictive game but it has a much worse reputation by paranoid people who want to cause a storm rather than research.

10brokengreenbottles · 22/11/2019 14:24

I don't let my 10 year old Year 5 DC play fortnite, but it seems from another gaming thread on here the other day that I am stricter than most when it comes to gaming.

Wobblywibblywoo · 22/11/2019 14:47

@EdersonsSmileyTattoo exactly the same here! My son will never get fortnite back so not worth it.

areyouafraidofthedark · 22/11/2019 14:49

My 8 year old plays it but only for an hour at a time, he gets bored of it quite easily.

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