to not let my 9 year old play Fortnite?

[Cultoffortnite]

Having a debated with DP over this as our Year 5 boy is claiming to be the only one in his class not playing Fortnite, which means he's getting left out as his mates play online together. I know that several of his close friends DO play ( older siblings in the house playing).

DP can be a bit of a 'Disney' parent and wants DS to have Fortnite. I object on the grounds that :
it's a 1st person shooter game aimed at 12+
it's violence dressed up as something else
We have a Wii Switch and DS can play that
We're strict on gaming time - usually reserved for weekends and this will be another screen/game to be battling with over time played
DS behaviour has been quite challenging recently and I don't really thin

So wise women and men of Mumsnet - should I give in? I'm wavering I have to admit and wondering if I'm being too draconian and being THAT parent.

[maddening]

My ds plays, in fact we play with him, it is no worse than minecraft server games, there is no blood and gore, when a player is eliminated the character is beamed out of the map rather than becoming a corpse for example. It is actually a fun game and no where near the older first person shooter games which are graphic and much more violent Imo.

[ActualHornist]

If you’re a gamer I’d suggest you download and give it a go yourself before making any hard and fast rules about it.

My boys don’t play it but they haven’t really asked (they’re 10 and in y6) they’re happy with Minecraft and Destiny although they don’t chat with anyone other than the couple of friends they have added (known ones from school I mean!)

[maddening]

Ps we don't have chat but he does play in squads with his friends.

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

My DS is almost 8 and won't be getting it anytime soon.

Stand your ground. I very much doubt your boy is the only one not to have it v

For me it's not about the violence but the addiction. Several mums say the behaviour after playing or when asked to turn off is appalling.

There's a reason things are 12+

[SisyphusDad]

In spite of it being a 12, for my DS12 and his friends, Fortnite is desperately uncool and a game that little children play

[Jinxed2]

My son played it at 9. He’s 11 now and seems to have grown out of it, he prefers fifa and racing games now. I hated it with a passion!! Now some of his friends are playing GTA!!!! Not a bloody chance he will be playing that any time soon

[hiphiphoorayback]

Overreaction. It is a 12 because of the chat function.

[Katrinawaves]

I seriously doubt he’s the only kid not playing it. My DS said the same thing to us (including that he was being left out at playtime) but the school had banned it and we held firm and wouldn’t let him play. The kid in his social group who was playing it and was leading this “cool kids” stuff is struggling this year with behaviour and social life and not in a good place. DS’s other friends weren’t playing it despite what he said and the Fortnite kid has alienated himself from the rest of his social group due to his obsession with it.

I also have a friend whose older child, predicted excellent A level grades and holding a place for medicine at a good uni, ended up with Ds and Es - that came out of nowhere as far as my friends were concerned and they discovered too late that he’d been playing Fortnite compulsively for long periods when they thought he was studying.

It’s designed to provide high dopamine hits which is why it’s not suitable for kids - nothing to do with levels of violence, cartoon graphics or stranger danger.

[hiphiphoorayback]

My 7 year old plays with his older brother and I watch. It's not too bad.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

The Venn diagram of the kids who played it at 8 in DD's class and the kids with serious behaviour issues/bullies was a circle. I think it's a combination of it being the parents who give in to pestering, don't respect rules, would rather give screens than parent and coincidence. And the addictive nature of the game mixed with these kids using it to lord it over the kids not allowed to play.

They all appear to be over it at 9/10.

[hiphiphoorayback]

What a load of tosh!

[gwenneh]

YANBU. My 9 year old isn't allowed to play it either and I know none of the other parents in his group allow it.

I don't like the violence, cartoon or no. The chat function is more easily controlled than the one on Roblox (where you have to have the chat function on to enter commands in DS's favourite game, a flight simulator) so I wasn't too concerned about that, but in the very short space of time I did allow it I saw far too much violence for comfort.

It doesn't have to be gruesome or graphic to still be violence. It was still a very aggressive and competitive game, with lots of weapons. Not for me.

[Bubblysqueak]

I work in within primary schools and the amount of problems we have because of Fortnite is ridiculous-
Arguments between friends
Bullying
Addiction
Behaviour problems, often due to late nights as the children sneak into console and play at night.

There is no way I would allow it and I'm usually pretty relaxed about this kind of thing.

[RoseMartha]

We did not let my dc play it. They are 12 now and never mention it.

[MrsTWH]

I said no to my boys playing it but then they played at friend’s houses. I watched it and tried it myself and it’s honestly such a dull game. The “violence” is cartoon-like and nobody dies, they get beamed up. I couldn’t get worked up about it to be honest. They were allowed to play in Year 5 and 6 (now Year 6 and 7).

However, I had to put strict controls in place as it does become addictive and I didn’t like how they shouted at each other and friends down their headsets. They are always supervised. Never on a school night and MAX 2 hours Fri, Sat, Sun. if they overstep the mark with bad behaviour or arguing or don’t turn off when I say then it’s an immediate ban for the following weekend. I ended up banning it for the whole Summer holidays as I was bloody sick of it. We had a lovely Summer without it! Luckily the attraction is slowly starting to wear off and they all seemed to be moving into FIFA instead.

So the game itself is fine I’d say for a Year 5 especially if he’s the odd one out. But keep a tight control over when and how long and who he plays with.

[happytoday73]

My year 6 child isn't allowed fortnite. He told me in year 5 all the boys did... I checked 3 others don't either..

Other children are on age 18 games with their parents.

We try to limit gaming time generally and know that this is too addictive for our son. You néed to do what's best for your child and family

[MonChatEstMagnifique]

Neither of my kids have been interested in fortnite although they are both into gaming. Personally I would allow it but luckily we've never really had any issues with behaviour.

It's your choice obviously but as others have said, look at it yourself first before you rule it out as most 8/9 year olds I know play it and their parents are responsible.

You could also use it as an incentive for his behaviour to improve.

[Venger]

The Venn diagram of the kids who played it at 8 in DD's class and the kids with serious behaviour issues/bullies was a circle. I think it's a combination of it being the parents who give in to pestering, don't respect rules, would rather give screens than parent and coincidence. And the addictive nature of the game mixed with these kids using it to lord it over the kids not allowed to play

Hahaha.

Utter tosh.

[orangeteal]

DS likes video games, has a pretty healthy relationship with them, doesn't play on a school night. All his friends were playing, we let him...holy crap we regretted it! It changed him, it's horribly addictive, I don't know what it is about it, so we banned it and we have our boy back. He was surprisingly ok with the ban after a couple of days, I think he felt released! So approach with caution at any age I think.

[WallyWallyWally]

My two have been playing it for a couple of years, starting ages 8 and 11. We’ve never had a single smashed controller, mangled headphones, outbursts of anger or swearing etc! And no problems getting them off it to come and eat etc. It’s really cartoony violence, an electronic equivalent of cowboys and Indians / cops and robbers etc.

I think saying -it’s a 12 and he’s only 9 is a bit simplistic tbh. There are several things that are taken into account when giving an age rating to a game. Yes violence / sex / drugs / language / gore are part of it, but so are online chat / connectivity (which can usually turn off) and difficulty level.

[MonChatEstMagnifique]

Utter tosh

Yep.

The kids I know who game are generally the quieter kids. Both my kids are really into gaming and we are definitly not parents who can't be arsed as that poster seems to be saying. My kids hate the bullies and cliques and the drama that seems to come with many kids. My kids have always been well behaved, my daughter in particular.

The parents I've known who are totally against gaming are quite out of touch with their children in many ways. They show no understanding of their children's need or desire to fit in. By the time they hit their teens, their children are often sneaky as they feel their parents are against them. Not in all cases I'm sure but in the ones I've known.

[Holl1234]

It is a perfectly safe game. It is likely your child is being picked on mildly for not being allowed to join in on the fun. Millions of kids around the world play the game and it's perfectly safe. Some kids have gone on to win thousands of pounds from just playing the game. There is no violence. Its merely fun cartoon game where you shoot other players with fun objects and you can also fish in the game. Ride a boat and go for a swim.

[superfandango]

Venn diagram = bullshit.

We have just started letting our 7 year old play, after a year of him asking. He was already allowed to play Pokémon, Minecraft, Lego games, Crash Bandicoot etc - so the "Cartoon violence" ship had sailed long ago. Our objection was based on the online element. Having researched it, and played it ourselves, we decided to allow DS limited supervised access with very strict privacy controls set up - so no voice chat, no incoming messages/gifts, he can't even see other players usernames. And you know what, it's been fine. He's not obessed with it, he's not a violent child and it's a significant part of pop culture for his age group that he's now not excluded from. The last thing we wanted was it to become fetishised because of a blanket ban without looking into it properly.

[olivesnutsandcheese]

Don't do it. It makes them turn into total a*seholes. It's the addictive nature of it.
The way they talk to each other is not what you want your 9 year old repeating and learning. My DSS15 has been ruined by it, and yes we did set limits etc.

[Baldcrusader]

DS1 (9) is allowed to play. The violence is cartoon like and tbh the best players are the best builders and it's not just about the shooting.

Get the relevant app for your phone. Ensure you have a family group set up and set time limits. They can request additional time but that would be your call.

Go through friends lists. Do you know this person? No? Delete. Simple as that.

Not like he's wanting to play GTA V. Which scarily is the most common game in the age group.