In court today. Terrified

[bakabakabeyond]

In court today regarding child arrangements order. I'm witholding access from my ex to our 1 year old as he is abusive, physically and emotionally. I left him with the help of women's aid and a local charity when he started showing signs of abuse towards our son.

He has made numerous false allegations about me in court. They are very transparent and have only cropped up after he told CAFCASS he had no concerns.

My allegations towards him are pretty extensive and all true. When I am giving evidence in court I will prove this as the truth is easy to recall

I am terrified of him. Scared I will bump in to him. The whole court process is making me unwell

Any unmumsnetty hand holds?

Good luck OP.

Very best of luck

Good luck. Hand holding here 💐💐

You can do this Op, good luck

Brave and strong lady .
You have this.
Take care of yourself.
A hand held ( if there’s space for another hand!!!)

I had to go to court earlier this year (for something entirely different) and I got in such a state beforehand....... but I really needn't have. The court helpers were amazing, they expext you to be very nervous and anxious, and they took me around the court beforehand, explained how things would happen, and were so so supportive. I ended up crying quite a lot that day and again, they knew exactly what to say and do.

Don't be afraid today - bring out your innner lioness, you're doing this to protect your cub. Good luck

A handhold from me, Good luck for today

Beautiful, brave, strong lady.

You can do this!

I've been where you are right now. I was vomiting, caring for DC, trying to get ready.
I remember the nerves and the utter panic when you think you'll bump into the scumbag of an ex.

Speak to the court, explain your situation, they can and will help you.

When in the courtroom, ignore your ex. Pretend he's not even there.
Don't even glance in his direction.
Take deep breaths, ask for a break if need be. Sips of water can help if you feel nauseous.

I'm here for you OP, we all are.

You're allowed to cry OP, and you're allowed to show anxiety. This would be an anxious day for anybody in your situation. I think it would look manipulative if you were unemotional, to be honest.

My friend went through this and when she saw her ex, she had a massive feeling of confidence, a 'you have no power over me' moment. She regained all her emotional strength during her morning in court. I hope this happens for you too.

Handholding. You are braver and stronger than you know.

You've totally got this. Good luck today

Best of luck. Hope it goes smoothly. Is there a list or do you just wait around to be called any time of the day?

I'm in at 1pm so at least I know roughly when I will be seen. Thank you so much for all of your support. Mumsnet is ace.

You're so brave and strong. If you are sick in court, it won't be the first time it's ever happened and tbh will just make your ex look like even more of a terrible person to put you in that position.

You're an amazing mum doing this for your son and the whole of Mumsnet is behind you.

Thinking of you today OP.
you can do this.
Glad you have support in the form of the MacKenzie friend,

I’ve been through it and I feel for you. It’s awful. My ex did the same and despite changing his mind from no concerns to concerns they did take him seriously, it not what you want to hear, the system is a farce. I just want you to be prepared for the reality of it x

Here's another handhold from me.

Be strictly truthful. Don't exaggerate. When I was a witness the other side kept trying to get me to overstate my statement. They wanted to knock holes in my evidence by claiming I was exaggerating but I wouldn't budge from the exact truth. The judge said I was one of the most obviously truthful witness he'd had the pleasure of seeing in court. And we won.

I have never been in your position but I have faced massive challenges as a mother. We can achieve what seems impossible for the sake of our children. You'll be fine. Take courage. We're all rooting for you.

Here to handhold too. I didn't get to court stage with my ex, but my friend was a barrister & when I told her how terrified I was, and she'd seen me shaking & sobbing, she said "you will make a very credible witness" - she didn't advise me not to cry. Things may well be different now, but please don't add stress by feeling bad for being emotional.

Deep breaths, think of your little DS, and know that this evening it will be over.

A huge group of us mumsnetters are there with you, close your eyes & see us all surrounding you with strength.

Having had to flee a violent & abusive ex, I'm there, angry on your behalf. A friend once advised me to imagine I was inside an invisible bubble which everything bounced off. He can't get to you today. And they ALL lie.

Another hand hold here OP.

You are one strong lady, you can do this!!!
Best of luck, I will be thinking of you today

If you tell the Court Clerk when you arrive that you have been a victim of Domestic abuse, they will be able to seat you away from him, somewhere safe. They will also make sure that one of you leaves before the other, preferably you xx

Another double-handed handhold here, you've absolutely got this despite how you feel now. You're doing exactly the right thing, will be thinking of you.

You are so brave, the hardest part has already been done, you got yourself and your child out of a violent situation. Focus on the fact that in 24 hours this will all be over and you will have saved yourself and your son from a horrible life to go on to lead a happy and safe one.

Good luck!!

You rock. Superheroes don't always wear capes - you are one of the ones that doesn't.

I've known a fair few magistrates - they are not daft! They are all "normal" people who just happen to be good at seeing through lies and deception. They get it day in, day out. If you are anxious and upset this will NOT go against you.

It must be horrifically stressful for you but you can do this. You've come so far already - Please come back and tell us how it went. We are all rooting for you!!