In court today. Terrified

[bakabakabeyond]

In court today regarding child arrangements order. I'm witholding access from my ex to our 1 year old as he is abusive, physically and emotionally. I left him with the help of women's aid and a local charity when he started showing signs of abuse towards our son.

He has made numerous false allegations about me in court. They are very transparent and have only cropped up after he told CAFCASS he had no concerns.

My allegations towards him are pretty extensive and all true. When I am giving evidence in court I will prove this as the truth is easy to recall

I am terrified of him. Scared I will bump in to him. The whole court process is making me unwell

Any unmumsnetty hand holds?

Well done for getting through it

I've woken up today in a complete panic. I am so terrified that they aren't going to find my allegations to be true and he's going to get unsupervised access. Can't cope with this.

@bakabakabeyond you've already coped and done an amazing job. You are probably and understandably in shock now after yesterday. Be kind to yourself, take time to process your journey so far. Concentrate on your DC, you are doing all of this for them, to keep them safe and sound

OP, it's normal to feel anxious but try and do some breathing exercises and calm yourself down.
It's easy for your mind to start racing, but you have done the right thing, and you are telling the truth so focus on that for now

It's always a nasty feeling the day after being in court, OP. It'll pass xx

It's not surprising you are in shock. It's a huge trauma for you to go to court and see him. Just remember he isn't even being given supervised access at the moment. That shows they are taking your concerns seriously.

Very unmumsnetty hugs

I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore.

Thank you all so much for your incredible support

OP, it's adrenaline spilling over from yesterday. Getting out for a walk might help. It will pass. Take care.

I always felt a bit sick for a few days after... be very kind to yourself and keep your fluids up...

Baka, you have done amazingly. You are protecting your son and you’ve escaped domestic violence. You are wonderful.

I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore.

That's normal. Because now you aren't 'who you were', you are the new you. The you that has said 'No More!'. You may still be a 'work in progress', but you will get there!

You have been through terrible things that many people only hear about in the news.

Thinking of you and hope you and your child get the outcome you both deserve. 💐