Vegetarians shouldn't have to buy meat?

[Whuut]

So a relative of mine is getting married next year and her and her partner went vegetarian a few years ago for many reasons, one being they didn't want to contribute to the meat industry. They have decided at the wedding to have the meal completely vegetarian. I think this is fine and for one meal people can deal without meat- I do get that some people struggle without it but I think for the sake of one meal at someone else's wedding, you'd just deal with it. What I think is harsh, a few other family members are constantly telling her they should have a meat option and making her feel bad about their decision.

Aibu to think they shouldn't have to have meat at their wedding when one of the main reasons they gave it up was to do with not wanting to contribute to the industry?

I feel a bit embarrassed for the family members who are making comments about this. Deeply ungracious.

**KateFoster

Agreed. It's sickening that people feel the need to have meat at every meal.**

^Oh do calm down. I can’t say I would get excited at a vegetarian menu but would just suck it up for a day.

I can see this from both points of view. I am Hindu and in the UK wedding meals are often vegetarian no matter the dietary preferences of the people paying, but reception meals nearly always contain meat options even if the bride / groom / family are vegetarian. It’s considered a good compromise. But not sure what the etiquette is for a non-Hindu wedding or whether meals are served at the reception (or not) as it’s been a while since I went to one - but it would be hospitable to have one option.

Haven't the guests realised that the wedding isn't all about them?

It's about the couple and what they want, not somebody else's expectation of free cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, cold chicken drumsticks and those little vol au vents with bits of ham in them.

Dp and I are vegetarian and served only vegetarian food at our wedding. There's no way we were going to spend our money on meat.

Not unreasonable at all. I've never understood why some people feel they need meat at every meal.

I'd probably just assure all the complainers that 'an alternative will be provided for the meat-eaters' and then have something like quorn or some other fake meat dish labelled as "meat-eaters option" while neglecting to mention at any point that it didn't actually contain meat.

Not unreasonable at all

I totally agree. There’s so much more good vegetarian and vegan food choice out there nowadays.

They'd be moaning if there wasn't a vegetarian option at a normal wedding

They'd be moaning if there wasn't a vegetarian option at a normal wedding

Yes.

People who eat meat don’t exclusively eat meat though. They can eat vegetarian food but vegetarians don’t eat food with meat in. It’s not the same.

My daughter had an alcohol free wedding. When word got around that there was no bar almost 50% of the rsvp acceptances were no-shows - including the groom's two brothers.
They really learned who their friends were.

I'd be miffed if there was no alcohol, mainly because I don't like soft drinks, so would only have tea, coffee or water, but I wouldn't turn down an invitation to a wedding because of it.

We didn't have alcohol, and I don't think it was a problem with anyone.

We didn't have alcohol, and I don't think it was a problem with anyone.

I don't think it should be a problem as long as guests know in advance.

That way mitigation can be put in place.

I'm not vegetarian and would never become one but I do find it laughable that meat eaters so often say this. They act like they never eat a meal without meat. Have they never had a jacket potato with cheese? Never had an omelette, pasta in sauce or a mushroom risotto? I love meat but I wouldn't care if a single meal didn't have it. Good luck to the bride and groom. Weddings bring out the worst in people and it's not always bridezillas.

they are completely NBU, however, I would be tempted to provide these whinging meat eaters with a single, really crappy meat option, like maybe some boiled chicken, cold, with very bland mashed potato and processed peas

what? you don't like it? but it's meat! honestly how can you be so ungrateful when we've gone to all this trouble to accommodate your unusual preferences

Yet the vegetarians would expect to be fed suitably at another wedding.
You don't get to dictate the catering at someone else's wedding.

Yes you do, if you're a vegetarian!

Meat eater here, but I'd be very happy with a goats cheese tart

That way mitigation can be put in place.

What mitigation do you need to not drink alcohol?!

What mitigation do you need to not drink alcohol?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2991753-Smuggling-alcohol-into-a-wedding-reception

There was a very amusing thread a few years ago, entitled something along the line of "Would you go to a dry wedding?"

Tales of a look of horror coming across the face of most of the guests when they arrived and found out there was no alcohol. All the talk being speculation about whether the groom was an alcoholic or the couple were being cheap, instead of how beautiful the bride looked etc. Eventually there was a whip round and some of the guests legged it to the supermarket and an unofficial bar was set up in the boot of someone's car.

Unless the bride or groom were a close relative or very good friend, I’d decline an invitation to an alcohol-free wedding. Unless you’re the bride or groom or their immediate family, weddings can be pretty boring with lots of waiting and standing about. And especially if you end up next to some irritating wazzock or painfully shy person who doesn’t say a word. A couple of drinks makes it more bearable.

What mitigation do you need to not drink alcohol?!

Who said anything about not drinking it? If the hosts don't want to provide it, as they are entitled to do, then guests may want to make their own arrangements... as they are entitled to do.

I wouldn't expect there to be meat on the menu if I was invited to a wedding where the couple were both vegetarian anymore than i would show up at a Muslim wedding expecting a hog roast or that strict Methodists would mark their nuptials by doing shots with the guests. For most vegetarians I know their decision is based on strongly held ethical beliefs. Some couples may choose to provide a meat option because they want to be inclusive or because they don't want the day to be ruined by mardy relatives complaining but I bet they aren't really happy about it, especially if they are paying for everything themselves. I suppose the same rules apply as with child free weddings. It is the bride and groom's day and they get to call the shots. If it upsets the guests that much then they should politely decline. To go and moan or try to force a change is just plain rude.

I am a meat eater, and would have no problem with a veggie/vegan meal at a wedding. I would tell the complainers that they have the option of refusing to attend if they feel that strongly. It really is, or should be, a non issue.

a few other family members are constantly telling her they should have a meat option and making her feel bad about their decision.

"Here's a suggestion Sandra. You can have meat at your wedding, & I won't be such a rude fucker as to bang on about your choices. If you can't manage one meal without meat, you can always decline the invitation."

Cannot believe the cheek of these people.
Are they telling her what dress to buy & where to go on honeymoon too?