Vegetarians shouldn't have to buy meat?

[Whuut]

So a relative of mine is getting married next year and her and her partner went vegetarian a few years ago for many reasons, one being they didn't want to contribute to the meat industry. They have decided at the wedding to have the meal completely vegetarian. I think this is fine and for one meal people can deal without meat- I do get that some people struggle without it but I think for the sake of one meal at someone else's wedding, you'd just deal with it. What I think is harsh, a few other family members are constantly telling her they should have a meat option and making her feel bad about their decision.

Aibu to think they shouldn't have to have meat at their wedding when one of the main reasons they gave it up was to do with not wanting to contribute to the industry?

Eh? What are you on about? I'm simply saying that most meat eaters don't have much experience of good veggie food because in the places meat eaters typically go its under represented.

Take a fucking chill pill eh?

As ever, this thread reminds me, some people assuming I was an animal rights extremist is a big factor in why I ceased to be a vegetarian.

‘What will they think?’ is a big factor in key decisions in your life? I find that very depressing. Do you have no mind of your own?

I’m a vegetarian, and we chose to have Indian food, veggie and non-veggie, at our wedding reception, mainly because I’ve had so many bloody awful ‘English’ meals at weddings (not that I’ve ever felt they’ve been ruined by the poor, no doubt expensive, catering.) DMIL made a chicken casserole for a handful of people who said they didn’t like Indian.
I buy and cook meat and fish for DD (10); I’d prefer not to, but she is a very picky eater who simply wouldn’t get a balanced diet if I only served vegetarian meals. I wear leather shoes and eat dairy products, so I’d hardly be ‘pure’ anyway.
I’ve been to plenty of weddings and other social occasions without alcohol, as DM’s family are teetotal, and I think it’s a bit sad that people say that they can’t enjoy themselves properly without drinking.

Another veggie who bloody loves a roast dinner that is just a usual roast without the meat element, I will happily eat that without the need for a substitute for the meat. Veggie gravy a bonus but mint sauce fine in the absence of it.

Are they providing a VEGAN option for the vegans, @Whuut?

Are they providing a VEGAN option for the vegans

I suppose, to be fair to all guests, the food should really cater for the lowest common denominator. No gluten, nuts, dairy, meat, fish, seeds, soya, quorn, mustard, sulphites etc.

Perhaps bring your own would be the easiest solution, that way everybody gets to buy, eat and drink what suits them.

I would assume they would provide a vegan alternative if a guest said they wanted - why wouldn’t they? There’s usually a tick box think with the invitation nowadays.

a few other family members are constantly telling her they should have a meat option and making her feel bad about their decision

They don't have to attend if they don't want to, would be my response.

YANBU!
You have just described my wedding! DH & I are both vegetarian for the animals (heading towards veganism now). We were exactly the same and didn't want to use our money to fund the meat industry. You would not believe (or maybe you would) how many family members complained/told us we should serve meat "and a vegetarian OPTION". Caused quite a few arguments.

Surprisingly, it was only DH's family who complained. Not my family or our friends. MOST of our guests understood that to buy meat and pay for the deaths of animals would be upsetting for us. And even though many might disagree, on a wedding day, it is the couple who are getting married who are important. They are paying and they get to decide what makes them happy.

@Whuut Please tell your relative not to give in to these horrible people, they can cope for one day of their lives and it is most important that the bride and groom have the best day. They shouldn't have their day tainted because of some guests who wanted the wedding day to be about them.

We had lovely vegetarian food on our wedding day and went to a lot of trouble to make sure that there was something that everyone would enjoy (with 3 options for the main course + a children's option). It STILL wasn't good enough for some people. Some people can't be pleased.

Ok, I'm not a vegetarian (though I like vegetarian food and will go days, or a week or more, without eating meat) and I'm not seeing the problem.

I've been to plenty of weddings where the food was something that I don't eat like a hog roast. I've not made a face or caused a fuss, I've just not eaten it. It's not my day after all!

For all the people saying ‘It’s fine as long as you warn people and they have plenty of choice’, what weddings are you going to? Virtually every wedding I’ve ever been to has had a ‘choice’ of the standard meal or vegetarian. I think once there was the option of chicken or fish. Otherwise, weddings are not known for being an amazing smorgasbord of options. Or is it only when meat eaters are ‘forced’ to eat a vegetarian meal that people start handwringing about whether they’ll like the meal or not?

I think it's because for better or for worse, there's the possibility of a non-insignificant number of people being unhappy and perhaps moaning if you do something non-standard with the catering. No meat at all is non-standard. Now one may feel that the people who can't possibly cope without meat for a few hours are being unreasonable, but most people would prefer no hassle at all on their wedding day to being morally in the right, so the best thing to do is pre-empt. That way anyone who thinks it's all rabbit food can get a McDonalds on the way.

FizzyGreenWater
Lovely is indeed subjective but I would have thought that a vegetarian MENU would be just that.

soup/melon/garlic mushooms/baked camembert starter

vegetable lasagne and salad with garlic bread
mushroom/spinach puff pastry thing with red wine jus and roast pots
tomato tart and new potatoes

The problem that I have with your menu is that I couldn't eat it due to allergies.

and I would usually be happy with a non meat menu.

Nothing to do with no chicken breasts.

The Straw Meal!

Fine, but that's a totally different argument isn't it? Of course they would also presumably cater for allergies, perhaps using one of the non-meat menu items that you find easy to eat. I don't get how your post is at all relevant to the actual discussion - ?

The point that is relevant to the thread is

Not everyone can eat every vegi meal.

The best vegi weddings that I have been to are the ones where they go all out on the food and produce a whole range of different foods that you can choose.

Preferably separated so that there is no cross contamination.

BoneyBackJefferson
I don't think that the menu would have that many options but I'll comment anyway.
soup/melon/garlic mushooms/baked camembert starter
can't eat/cold/bloody mushrooms again/sounds vile

vegetable lasagne and salad with garlic bread - yum!
mushroom/spinach puff pastry thing with red wine jus and roast pots - mushrooms again, some veg in pastry again, Roast potatoes are a bit of a treat.
tomato tart and new potatoes -, tomato tart sounds grim, new potatoes and tart seems a bit lacking in green stuff.

Overall impression: I'm impressed that there is no goat's cheese with caramelised onion/beetroot, and no risotto or butternut squash, and that there is a choice.

I have recently been to a vegan wedding. Both bride and groom are vegans and the reception food was totally vegan - absolutely no meat or dairy involved.. It was great. There was a huge selection of dishes with lentils, beans etc, salads, pasta and an amazing vegan cake. (Strawberry cake .... delicious). There was a heck of a lot of wine, however, so that might be influencing my opinions ..... 😂😂.

MikeUniformMike

Its not my menu

But for me lactose intolerant
Garlic is a major problem and mushrooms make me sick.

That leaves the soup which would depend on what it was and if they have swirled cream in it.

and tomato tart and the new pots, but it would depend on what they did with the potatoes, usually swimming in garlic or drenched in butter.

It sounds like a lot of intolerances but it isn't that unusual Boney.
A lot of people struggle with lactose, garlic and mushrooms. although necessarily all three.
Guess you are about as much fun to dine out with as me, but whereas I just moan that I don't like it, you can't eat it.

Just a little observation, as it's helped me ( and I quite understand if you just dare not chance it) but if potatoes are swimming in butter, many lactose intolerant people will be fine because the lactose content of real butter is very very low..trace levels. No good if it's an allergy or if you have milk protein intolerance, but simple lactose intolerance is the most common.

I’m not sure why allergies and intolerances are relevant here- surely they apply to meat based meals just as much as vegetarian ones?

Much more likely to have dairy products in vegetarian options

Really? Why?

Anyone suggesting the wedding will be forever remembered as poor because of the food are being daft.
There's always someone who won't like the food whatever is on the table.
Why should the bride and groom discard what the y believe in on their wedding day of all days?
They are right to stick to vegetarian food(,and alcohol?.)
I'd go so far as to have a menu on the table with written on the back some interesting facts about the positive impact of a vegetarian way of life,it might help guests to anticipate the food with more enthusiasm and to consider becoming a vegetarian😀.

We had a vegetarian wedding. On the invitation we said the food would be vegetarian but to let us know if you there were any other dietary requirements. Yes it was a very cheese focused menu because we love cheese, but if someone had been eg lactose intolerant, we'd have made sure there was something nice for them to eat, just the same as anyone else would. Why are people assuming a vegetarian menu means no allergies will be catered for?