To think that parents of twins

[scrapaja]

Have it financially harder than parents of single kids.

The government recognise the financial hardship experienced by parents of children with disabilities and also recognise single babies' financial hardship - offering maternity leave and child benefit. But parents of twins - I don't feel seen or acknowledged as being different to a parent of a single baby but there are differences.

We didn't plan for two babies. I love them dearly.

@Samcro
Op has already apologised and expanded into what she meant. Read the full thread- it’s not too long.

What baffles me is why this is even a topic? There is no competition, babies are expensive, childcare is extortionate, paternity leave should be longer. This is irrespective of twins or singleton, it’s a huge financial and emotional cost and we need to support each other!

@Skinnychip again in Ireland you get extra child benefits for triplets and twins (you get one and a half times per child)
One child €140
Two children €280
Three children or Twins €420
Triplets €630

It could be worse OP, you could be in the situation of being financially better off but having the daily sadness of raising a lone twin. I know what I would prefer.

@JPharm so did my df. A red one because that was what came up second hand. He bought it in 1984. He still has it. He still swears that it's the best (and safest) car ever. It currently does about 200 miles every year. It goes into the garage around 4-5 times a year. The garage is around 10 miles away... But "it's as good as it ever was." Bless.

plantainchips Wed 20-Nov-19 16:31:12
@Samcro
Op has already apologised and expanded into what she meant. Read the full thread- it’s not too long.

where?? all i have seen is a sorry to offend post.

There you go, move to Ireland where they pay people to have more and more kids.

There you go, move to Ireland where they pay people to have more and more kids.

No NHS though, something to think about.

@PinkyU nor can we afford to collect carers allowance as it would then lower our measly tax credits leaving us worse off. that’s not true your tax credits credits will either stay the same or reduce slightly, but by much less than the £66 a week carers allowance. Are you claiming the disabled premium in tax credits?

I had two children close together (admittedly by choice) so i was paying full childcare for two babies at once. My children are different sexes so very little of handing things down etc.

Its a choice to have children and while you didn't plan twins it was a choice to have them. I really can't see that they cost that much more than having two children. I have friends with twins and have read so many times 'you don't need two of everything'. Im sure there are a couple of things (bouncy chairs, Moses basket and maybe a crib) that you need two of but most things you would have bought two if anyway.

I am sure it is more expensive in the short term - right up to an including the university years when you will potentially have two going through university at the same time. But overall, is it that much more expensive than having singletons fairly close together. Taking the university scenario as an example, having 2 simultaneously doing 3 year courses would be tough, no doubt, but a family with 2 singletons 2 years apart would have no less cost overall and but it would be spread over 5 years with one doubled up year in the middle. I am not sure if that is worse or better, it is just different.
For things where there is a sibling discount, families with singletons might in fact end up with higher costs overall if their children are in different age groups. I have had that happen with 2 of mine who are 26 months apart meaning that they were never in the same age group for sports etc. So two siblings in U12s would get a 15% discount for example, whereas I had one U12 and one U10 and didn't qualify. Irritating, but that's life.Twin parents would presumably buy a double buggy from the outset whereas a family having their first baby would buy a single, then if they have another before the first is walking confidently they buy a double as well. If you have serial singletons you can reuse the same equipment and hand stuff down it is true, but if you have twins there is stuff they can share. I know my niece didn't buy two of everything for her twins.
I don't dispute that having twins is very hard work and expensive, but I am not convinced that in the long term it is a lot more expensive than having two singletons. Unless you have a really big age gap, the chances are that if you have more than one child you are paying for double or triple of everything most of the time too. Must be tough at the beginning but I would imagine things even out over time.

No that's ridiculous. I was talking with a twin mum about holidays and she was saying how much more expensive her holiday was... with twins.
I said I've got two children and one over twelve so mine is more expensive than yours.

*There you go, move to Ireland where they pay people to have more and more kids.

No NHS though, something to think about*

@LaurieMarlow

kinda True, there is a public health system but not entirely like the nhs, low incomes have medical cards. Nobody pays for maternity care either (unless you want to go private. But no council tax or water bills either so it’s swings and roundabouts.

I cannot believe you compared having twins to having a disabled child and have so many agreeing with this!
OP apologised, it was clearly badly worded and not meant as a direct comparison. Where are the other posts who have said twins is like having a disabled child??

Unplanned does not mean unwanted of course not, but the majority of people having an abortion after an unplanned pregnancy are having it because they don't want a child. Some will have it despite wanting the child and despite it being unplanned. It still isn't the same as going "oh, that's not the type of pregnant y we ordered, we'll abort it and start again"

.and people with similar aged children need multiple things as well!! except with a 9 month age gap you can reuse the moses basket, the basic baby clothes, the bottles, the blankets. Potentially school uniforms, wellies etc.

This thread has confused me, i have read all ops posts and now where is there any more than a sorry for the offence.
Hardly an apology and expansion.

@Witchend My dad bought his in 1987, he would still be driving it today were it not for a neighbour having about 10 pints then deciding to drive his transit van. Dented about five cars in the street before ploughing into my Dad’s beloved Volvo. I’d never seen him so angry!!

Maybe we should start a ‘classic Dad car’ thread 😂

I have twins - people assume that twins stay a similar size and you need two of everything and can't do handy downs etc. Its not true. Just because two babies are born at the same time does not mean they are going to grow up the same size etc (unless they are identical twins of course). My twins share clothes, hand clothes down to the smaller twin etc.

...you can reuse the moses basket, the basic baby clothes, the bottles, the blankets. Potentially school uniforms, wellies etc.
Actually - we saved on a moses basket - put our twin babies side by side in a cot next to our bed. You don't need to buy more bottles - just wash the ones you have more. Our government school had different uniforms for boys/girls - and since we have a boy/girl twin combo we had to buy two uniforms regardless of the age of children.
Twins are exhausting but you don't have to make them more expensive than having two children close together. And there are huge benefits - one parents evening, one school drop off and collection because they aren't split between different schools due to being the same age, when they do their vaccinations you get them both done in one go. All the tricky stages in development such as times table learning dealt with at the same time - and there is always another child to ask if one of the twins has forgotten school information I need to know!
I love having twins - I watch all these poor mums and dads struggling to get between infant and junior and high schools with their different age groups of children - trying their best to pick holiday activities which suit a range of age groups. Having twins is a huge bonus. There is no doubt somethings I bought two of that maybe I would not have bought if I had a singleton - but most of that was choice to make my life easier not because it was a necessity.

@ittakes2glad someone has something positive to say about them (3 1/2 weeks before I give birth to mine) 😂😂

I am not a parent of twins (thank goodness!) but I do think something ‘extra’ should be provided for parents of multiples. SMP + 1/2 again maybe? Funded nursery place from 2 instead of 3? Anyway, you definitely have it financially harder than those of us with singles in the early years.

I haven't read all the responses, but completely understand what you are saying. We are trying for a second baby, I only got stat mat pay first time so used savings to have any time off. Will need to do the same second time round, but will have to go back to work quite soon as simply cannot afford to be off. We need both salaries to pay the bills.

I am quite terrified that if we are successful of falling pregnant, if we had twins, financially I am not sure what we would do as we simply canny afford two additional children. We both work full time, pay childcare, live in a normal house and just manage to pay our bills. I know there are people worse off than us, and we are not poor just wouldn't have enough spare cash for two kids at the same time. I really do not know how people manage, I know people do.

There is no doubt it’s more expensive than one in the early years- as people have said. No hand me downs and double equipment.

You are more likely to have to stop work earlier so therefore go back to work when babies are smaller (slightly extended maternity leave say by 4-6 weeks would really help).

Full time childcare for 2 under 2s is crippling. We took the hit (childcare was more than I earned) and it’s paid off in the end, but not everybody can afford to do that. There are very few parents of singletons even those close in age that have this expense because the 2 maternity leaves would offset at least some of this time

There you go, move to Ireland where they pay people to have more and more kids

Well they had to didn't they? Until recently, every Irishwoman who got pregnant was forced to continue with the pregnancy whether she could afford it or not.