Teacher choosing to shorten DD's name

[mummasaurus]

Hi,

DD has a name that is long and could be shortened but she choses not to, don't want to state it as could be outing but think Samantha, so could be Sam if she wished. She started school in September and has just got very upset this evening because she says people in school aren't using her full name. After explaining that sometimes people do shorten their name and all she has to do is say to her classmates that she prefers her full first name she replied 'it's not the children, it's Mrs X (her teacher), and I have told her but she hasn't stopped'

AIBU to think this is bad of the teacher? We completed the registration form with DDs full first name as her preferred name.

It's tricky. In my kids school there are 3 boys with the same slightly unusual first name (unusual by normal standards but clearly not as this school). Two of them always use the shorter version, mine hates the shorter version and goes by the longer. Mine was annoyed last week as the head (she's been there two years, he's in Y6) called him by the shorter name in assembly. It's not a big school (100 ish pupils). I don't know what to think, part of me thinks it's disrespectful and not that hard to remember. The other part of me can't get worked up about it and thinks it's my fault for giving him a name which is usually shortened!

Have a chat with the teacher. I taught 2 children with the same name but they shortened it differently, think Elizabeth being shortened to Lizzie and Beth. The following year we had another Elizabeth who didn't shorten her name but we struggled to remember that at first.

It's more likely that the teacher already knows somebody (or more than one somebody) who uses the short form and says it out of habit. I have a nephew Nicholas, who's called Nick by most people. I know a man through a group my kids are involved in who's called Nicholas by everyone. I sometimes call him Nick, purely because I'm used to calling my nephew Nick. It's not meant to be disrespectful to the man, it is purely a human slip.

Obviously the reasonable thing to do is to have a chat with the teacher.

However, if that fails, just find out the teacher's first name and tell the child to call her that from now on. See how long Mrs Lazy Teacher tolerates being called 'Lazy' by a student, and then your child can make her point.

But, then again, I live for conflict.

My daughter is Claire. Can’t be shortened but her best friends dad used to call her ‘Clairethemoment imetyouiswear’

Nip it in the bud ASAP.

Our name is the minimum thing that we should be able to have control over. It's very upsetting. My DD was completely devastated at nursery as she thought her name had been changed and she didn't understand why. I went in every week asking her key worker to pronounce her name properly. Eventually, I complained to the head and when it started up again a few weeks later (proving IMO, that the mispronunciation was done on purpose), I arranged to have DD put in a different group.

It's the minimum we should expect. I find it extremely disrespectful to get people's names wrong if the error has already been pointed out.

Don't make a big deal out of it. You do not want to fall out with her teacher.
I can assure you that the beautiful name you chose will be shortened by her peers in time and as much as she might hate it, they'll just do it even more! Rise above the school gate pettiness.

The deputy head at my dd school deliberately spelt her name wrong so she would get used to it. Some teachers can't be told. However, Reception ones are usually kind and get this sort of stuff so a quiet word should do it. If not, explain to your dd she does not need to answer as Sam, only Samantha. They'll soon stop shortening it!

My name is Michaela. I have been called so many interesting variations of this over the years. My GP used to call me Michaela-with-an-a". But the most annoying was a secondary school teacher who insisted on calling me " Michelle" because in her opinion either my parents had spelt Michelle incorrectly or it was " just Michelle with a fancy spelling!"

When I was a child I HATED my name being shortened (couldn't care less now!).
One when I was about 8 the teacher called me Becky (which I loathe - apologies to any Becky's out there) & I actually said to him,
"my name is Rebecca not Becky"!!!! It certainly shut him up & made him change his ways!!!!!!
Now, I don't care what I'm called!!!! Has been known to be as short as "B"!!!!

Some folks shorten my sisters name (we've never ever referred to her as anything but her full name) and if I hear someone refer to her by the short name I haven't got a clue who they are talking about.

Well I ask the students in all of my new classes in Sept’ if they have a preferred name and pronunciation (I like to write it phonetically on my seating plan)...

Over the next few months more than one student will complain that I’m using the wrong name for them when it’s what they told me they preferred on day one 🤷‍♀️🤣
I just say sorry, change it on my plan and remember the new preference.

Definitely don’t get mad over this just yet lol!

I do the same flashes.

A quick, polite chat is all that's needed.

I've had this with my son. In his class there is a boy with the same name who uses the shortened version. I spoke with the class teacher a few weeks ago as they were writing the shortened version in his reading book and he'd got upset and said "maybe I just need to have the short name so its easier for people" She took it very well, and said that sometimes they do forget but that they're aware of his name and so would make an effort to use his full name. He also now will correct people if they call him by the short version! All it needs is a chat with the teacher.

I had exactly this at school - _ preferred to use my long name instead of my shortened name. My mum said I used to ignore people that called me by my shortened name and just respond with a curt "my name is X not X" and they soon got the message! Agree with others, talk to the teacher

If I can't remember a students name (I'm secondary) I go for Bob!

Apologies and ask them to remind me and try harder to remember them. With nearly 300 to learn this year (10 classes) and some I only see once a fortnight it is a bit of a challenge - also had 16 new Guides start at my unit to add to the mix!!

I'm far from a lazy teacher but children's names can be tricky when there are so many variations, and I think maybe parents could try and empathise with how difficult it can be to get it right every single time in a busy classroom when you might have an Ava/Eve/Evie and a Keira, Cara, Ciara, Klara in the same class. It isn't rudeness, laziness or unkindness to occasionally get mixed up. It's human. I always apologised when I made a mistake with a name though, because I know its annoying. Annoying though, not devastating for heaven's sake.

Bloody ignorant of the teacher.
I'm a teacher and wouldn't dream of doing that.
Some of my students have long, unusual names (high percentage of EAL students) & I practise until I get them right, writing them phonetically in my personal files if it helps.