To think a class whip round for teacher's Xmas present shouldn't come to £££

[lollapaloser]

My child is in first term of reception class. The class rep asked all parents in the class WhatsApp group if we'd like to contribute to vouchers for a Christmas present for the teacher. I said probably not, I'll just get DS to make or buy a small token something (from him). And wouldn't a group gift be better at the end of the school year?

Anyway, an 'experienced' mum with older children said a £10-£20 contribution per child/family is normal and it's split between the teacher and TA. Given there are 30 children in the class we'd end up with between 300 and 600 quid, which seems bonkers.

Turns out I was in a minority of 1 in thinking it was OTT/tacky/morally wrong. A few people jumped in to say how much the teacher does, caring for our children every day, going above and beyond, how wonderful she is etc. How none of us would think twice about spending £20 on a takeaway. Another said she couldn't get a bottle of wine and chocs for £20 so it's a good deal, plus it saves her time. And that she sometimes also bakes or whatever as well as the donation.

There are just so many things about this I don't agree with. It's the teacher's job, she's not a saint, wouldn't it embarrass her, she'd have to declare it, could it be seen as bribery, I think the parent who suggested we can all chuck £20 away without thinking about it is clueless about most people's finances, I think the thank you should come from the child, not the parents in a grand gesture of performative gratitude, if Teach is so wonderful why wouldn't you go to more effort, larger value doesn't equal greater thanks, if we're raising a big chunk of money wouldn't it be better spent on equipment for the school, etc . . . I could go on.

This is in a (turns out more affluent than I realised) London suburb. Everyone else has responded saying they'd transferred money, mostly a tenner. I know in the grand scheme of things a tenner isn't much but that's not the main point.

I actually emailed the school about this and whether their gifting policy could state a cap on gift amounts. But their reply just said parents can give what they want and that it isn't a policy issue as doesn't affect the children.

I reckon I'm the only one of 30 sets of parents not contributing. I now feel a bit isolated from the group for thinking differently.

*hand not had x2!

My DD's school don't allow whip rounds for the reasons outlined by the PPs, also there is a cap on individual presents of £10. I'm really surprised that there isn't another parent in the class who thinks this is unfair.

How sad that people are telling you to chip in or the other parents will bitch about you.

I agree with the pp who said £5 each is £75 per teacher and TA. You can then buy them a WH Smith voucher each and they can use it on themselves or to buy stationery or a mix of both.

The ' its only £5/10' comments are frightening. Are people really that blinkered to what life is like for so many?
I work in a school, we have parents who would have to choose whether to spend their last £5 on electricity top up or food.
Unfortunately I'm aware that our more affluent parents do organise collections for us all and frankly most of us feel uncomfortable/awkward accepting them.
A verbal thank you or email is what I always remember. Most of my colleagues feel the same and believe me we're not impressed by parents (often it would seem deliberately very publicly) giving us over the top gifts.
I'd hate to think any of my children/parents felt inferior because they didn't have the money for anything lavish!

DDs always gave a card they had written with a Freddo frog in it. At the time could not afford a fiver (each!)

DP is a teacher and that would deffo be a favourite present! Appreciation is lovely, but it's the expectation of financial contribution which is awful.

DP recently had a request for art materials for lessons refused by academy, yet was then presented with the glossy academy magazine to give out. £150-300 would buy a LOT of classroom consumables which can improve lessons and ultimately make the job more enjoyable.

If you're in an affluent London suburb then this doesn't surprise me at all, and I kind of agree that a tenner donation is a lot less faff than getting DC to make something (torture!) or remembering to pick up a nice box of chocs.
Having said that, we don't do it fir Xmas ar my school (mixed Ldon primary). We do, however, do a collection at the end of the year. Its entirely voluntary, in that some sends out a message asking if anyone wants to contribute, and those that do will give a fiver each. Those that don't, complete fine.
We then end up with a decent amount to get vouchers for the teacher and the TA, we get a card and put in the names of the DC's that have contributed, abc the other parents sort themselves out. Simple.
Regarding Muslim families, there are a lot at our school, and everyone gets involved in the Xmas activities / gifts, it's seen as a time of celebration for all. We also do yearly Eid events too that we all get involved in. No one is offended (not that I'm aware of, anyway).
And I find it funny that people on here are saying think about the money saved that you could have spent on a private prep. Paying for primary school is something that is completely alien to me!
OP, do what you feel suits you

And in answer to another question, bribery policies vary massively from school to school. I’m generally not allowed to accept a gift worth over £50, my boyfriend can accept a gift of pretty much any value but he has to declare it if it’s over £50. As this is a class gift and can’t really align with bribery I imagine it would be fine for most schools

Possibly but most local authorities have a policy that you can't accept anything over a certain value and £150 would be over that value usually it's around £50. I'd be inclined to just take in a box of sweets/biscuits for the staffroom.

In our last year of primary we did a box with glue sticks, HB pencils, erasers etc plus some home made fudge each for the teacher and TA. Teacher was absolutely delighted.

£150 each. So - a case of wine, some premium toiletries, maybe a handbag. It isn’t OTT for a group gift

I do think that’s OTT, though. £150 is a huge gift, and times 2 if there’s an end-of-year gift too.

Not everyone works places where gifts from clients are commonplace. In my office you’ll get a share of some communal biscuits or chocolates at Christmas if you’re lucky. We don’t get bonuses, but if £150 or £300 or any amount.
Most people work in places like that, I’d think.
Teachers deserve appreciation for their hard work, sure. A group gift is probably better value than 30x best teacher ever mugs, sure.
But the attitude that it’s “just” a tenner at a really expensive time of year is pretty poor.

As a teacher of much older children, I'm rather jealous! I work my ass off making sure that my students get fantastic exam results so they can go off to the university of their choice, but I rarely even get a bottle of wine, never mind £££!!!

There’s another thread about hungry Britain and millions of families struggling to feed their children, and some parents think it’s appropriate to pressure people into giving £20 each?

£1-£5 each would be more appropriate and it would still be wrong to pressurise.

When I was teaching, the most treasured gifts were handmade cards or notes of appreciation.

Well mine make them cards and put a little message inside about something they loved that their teacher did with them.

I don't buy huge gifts. At the end of the school year I get an Amazon or Next gift card and put it in my own Thank You card, and the kids make another, thanking her for everything.

I think it'd be awesome if the teacher needed stationary and send out a polite message about no gifts but X, X and X would be appreciated by all.

Why stop at £50?

I think that a class collection & vouchers is a good idea tbh.

I would have thought that £5 would be more than enough though.

That's still £75 each!

We used to give 50cts or €1 depending on what was requested!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a collection as long as it’s a ‘give what you can afford’ policy. I tend to give generously but would never judge anyone who gave a different amount - even £1 x 30 adds up.

Nobody should ever be pressured and staff don't expect gifts. The class rep is out of order.

Quibbling over £5 for the teacher and £5 for the TA unless you're skint does seem a bit of a miserable attitude though.

I get out support staff, technicians, TAs for my classes something small at Christmas and it's hard to get more than a card and some biscuits/chocolate for a fiver.

Some of my GCSE / 6th form classes have done a whip round of and given me vouchers for a local cafe, another colleague got a voucher to get her nails done. Much as any gift is appreciated and the cards are the best part, I have to say the one voucher from the class was probably more useful than 16 boxes of chocolate for example.

Two kids I know in year 1 decided to make a little book about Christmas featuring their teacher as Santa and gift it to him for Xmas. I thought it's a nice idea and offered to help. I think it shows appreciation to their teacher, and develop their creative skills. Only cost a bit of time.

The class rep is out of order

Why?

The class rep only asked the other parents if it was something they would be interested in doing. They didn't specify an amount, and haven't pressured anyone into contributing.

Whilst I agree that £10-£20 is a lot per person, the Op hasn't actually said that people are being made to contribute this.

It's probably the same value as loads of separate gifts though assuming people spent around £10.

We did it in my kids primary and it was great! No stressing about what to buy.

I agree with you op. Apart from pre school and reception when I was sucked into the 'must give gift' mentality, I just give teachers a thank you card. Occasionally through the year I'll buy a big box of sweets or a bunch of flowers for the staff room with the message that they're for everyone, teachers, secretaries, cleaners the lot.

But NoSquirrels, surely context is important here? In my experience, these things tend to be set by tradition more than anything - a mother with older kids at the school will have an idea of the norm for gifts at that school, which will presumably reflect the average circumstances of the people in that area. That’ll be where the “£10 or £20” comes from. So it’ll be a different “ask” in an affluent London suburb like that of the OP from a more deprived area - because it’s organised by parents themselves.

Plus - it’s not and never compulsory! I’ve seen people dodge these things without any shame or comeback; a quick “no thanks, we’d prefer to do our own thing” is fine. I don’t get the idea that it’s somehow “wrong”. You’ll never get unanimity in any disparate group of that size, but if there are enough parents in a class who want to chip in, then a whip round occurs and a “class gift” is bought. If you don’t want to chip in, then you’re under absolutely no obligation to do so.

How does a parent get to be a 'class rep'? In 30 years of teaching I never heard of such a thing although I never worked in a school where parents would have been able to contribute £10 each - nor would I have wanted them to.

Our school has politely requested home made cards and amazon vouchers (which can then be used to buy supplies for the classroom) for the last few years.
It's in the newsletter, mentioned to the pta, and there's also a section for 'gift policy' on our website.
There's always a few parents who try to buy something, but sealed food/drink is donated to the foodbank (they raffle alcohol off to raise funds), one of the staff usually ebays other stuff that's resellable, and the rest lingers in the staffroom until it breaks/gets chucked.

I like the idea of a group gift.
that way the teachers and others ideally (...) wouldn't know whether a child's parents gave 0.5€ ors 50€....
We (my sister and I) were once scolded by my teacher for not brining enough on a similar occasion and I still remember the embarrassment.

Anyhow, it's perfectly fine to do your own thing as well. It's not like these things are compulsory afaik.
But I personally really wouldn't encourage my child to make any kind of trinket. I'd be surprised if teachers actually wanted that that sort of gift....

Yes, I’ve never heard of a class rep either, and I’ve had three DC through primary and nearly through secondary.