To think a class whip round for teacher's Xmas present shouldn't come to £££

[lollapaloser]

My child is in first term of reception class. The class rep asked all parents in the class WhatsApp group if we'd like to contribute to vouchers for a Christmas present for the teacher. I said probably not, I'll just get DS to make or buy a small token something (from him). And wouldn't a group gift be better at the end of the school year?

Anyway, an 'experienced' mum with older children said a £10-£20 contribution per child/family is normal and it's split between the teacher and TA. Given there are 30 children in the class we'd end up with between 300 and 600 quid, which seems bonkers.

Turns out I was in a minority of 1 in thinking it was OTT/tacky/morally wrong. A few people jumped in to say how much the teacher does, caring for our children every day, going above and beyond, how wonderful she is etc. How none of us would think twice about spending £20 on a takeaway. Another said she couldn't get a bottle of wine and chocs for £20 so it's a good deal, plus it saves her time. And that she sometimes also bakes or whatever as well as the donation.

There are just so many things about this I don't agree with. It's the teacher's job, she's not a saint, wouldn't it embarrass her, she'd have to declare it, could it be seen as bribery, I think the parent who suggested we can all chuck £20 away without thinking about it is clueless about most people's finances, I think the thank you should come from the child, not the parents in a grand gesture of performative gratitude, if Teach is so wonderful why wouldn't you go to more effort, larger value doesn't equal greater thanks, if we're raising a big chunk of money wouldn't it be better spent on equipment for the school, etc . . . I could go on.

This is in a (turns out more affluent than I realised) London suburb. Everyone else has responded saying they'd transferred money, mostly a tenner. I know in the grand scheme of things a tenner isn't much but that's not the main point.

I actually emailed the school about this and whether their gifting policy could state a cap on gift amounts. But their reply just said parents can give what they want and that it isn't a policy issue as doesn't affect the children.

I reckon I'm the only one of 30 sets of parents not contributing. I now feel a bit isolated from the group for thinking differently.

Ten pounds isn't a lot these days.
Wow, only on Mn!!!
Meanwhile in the real world £10 is quite a lot for some people.
I’d rather be ostracised then a snob who cares what other people think

I used to make chocolate truffles. Clearly the staff at my sons school werent picky as some, as I used to see them eating them when I went in for the christmas carol service.

Gosh..why stop there
How about a present for the surgeon for not killing or maiming through your op
The dentist who does your root canal without leaving permanent pain
Your airline pilot who lands you safely
I mean where does it end
I think a card from the children and a voluntary donation for class equipment is a much better idea

You might want to show them the HMRC rules on gifts. A teacher would need to declare gifts of this value and it certainly wouldn’t be allowed at my school. We usually do a collection as we feel that gift vouchers are more useful than lots of chocs and teacher can also choose whether to spend on themselves or on the classroom!

Much better to donate a book to the library or give something to put in the staff room they can all share. It won't just be the class teacher and TA involved in teaching the pupils.

We do this at the end of year at my DC school, it's £5 each which I think is reasonable and no one is gossiped about if they don't contribute, lots opt out and that's fine.

£150-300 as a gift is ludicrous in my eyes. If I was a teacher I really would be embarrassed by this and wouldn't want to accept it, to think that there may be parents without much money feeling pressured into buying me a present they can't afford would be obscene.

I think that £10 isn't that big a deal if you can afford it. Parents spend so much more on after school clubs etc. At our school the teachers give up their spare time to run clubs, organise events, put on plays etc. Teaching isn't just a job. The teachers I know all go above and beyond. I think that it shows appreciation. Young children don't understand or appreciate the hours that they put in. Most reception children aren't going to thank their teacher for doing a good job of educating them, without being prompted. Nothing wrong with parents showing their appreciation.

We put a tenner in for a whole years worth of presents for both teacher and TA. Are you sure that this is just for Christmas?
Like the PP said a gift of glue sticks or pens would be most welcome as teachers are buying these out of their own pockets so the children don’t miss out.
I think that teachers do and amazing job. I work in a school bit watching the things teachers have to and do now puts me right off so imo they are saints

My children always bake for the teachers....they make the cards and take the effort. I am with you. I find the amount raised shocking and at my school it is twice a year. This is on top of the other fundraisers that our school runs. I have 3 children and one with special needs. If I went along, I would spend over £100 to cover all the extras. If they said it was to buy supplies for the classroom, I would be more inclined. I have learned that you don't ask. Don't push. Do your own thing. This is of your education experience.

Youre not being unreasonable. Think a lot of parents will pay in case they are gossiped about at school gates.

Personally I think a gift of £20 towards the teacher and TA's Christmas present is a lovely idea and if it is £600 odd they well deserve it. They are teaching our children. I would thrilled will a £600 voucher and feel very appreciated.

It's unnecessary, preposterous and misguided

IMO schools should officially stamp it out but in the leafy primaries where near where I live there is always someone with nothing more productive to do collecting for this.

We had a similar situation during my youngest’s first year at school. I had never heard of it before. The person organising the collection had a list of every parent’s name and wanted £10-20 from everyone. It did not go down well. She later switched to it not being compulsory after complaints. I always donate but never that much, with more than one child at school that could get expensive. I’ve organised collections myself for my oldest’s teachers. I always made it clear that contributions were not mandatory. I bought the card and people could add to the collection if they wanted and anybody could sign the card.

I should add in my experience the best presents are always personal ones from the kids that don’t take up lots of space so maybe digital or consumable presents or vouchers.

So as you please and let others do as they please. I am a teacher. No one monitors and any gifts are received with gratitude. Give, don't give, whatever. BUT do stop trying to justify your decision. The bribery suggestion is plain offensive. For the record given how much I spend on children over the year from my own pocket, I would like stuff for the classroom should anyone want to give me a present. Coloured pens, stiff paper, blue tack, baking supplies, glue sticks, anything. One of the reasons my ex quoted for ending our long marriage was money spent on my classroom. .

Never have contributed or bought presents.

Might sound harsh but they do actually get paid to teach the kids. If they have done something special for your child or gone over and above to help your child then I think that is perfectly acceptable.

Some of the comments I've read and amounts stated are utterly ridiculous and appears to me to be either boasting or peer pressure that your child would somehow be disadvantaged if you didn't. I like the suggestions of buying school stuff albeit that also shouldn't be required.

"They are teaching our children." And therefore have a professional job, status and pay. I wish they were paid and respected more. But parental appreciation is better shown through engagement.

£250 of vouchers is inappropriate.

There are huge numbers of low income families pressured to chip into pointless unnecessary sentimental shit like this at a time they can least afford it. It gives me the rage. If you appreciate your teachers vote for a government that values the profession.

Judemahmoodid

*"You’re lucky your child isn’t in my child’s school, we give around £50 per head at both Christmas and end of year, plus cake and cards for her birthday.

Anything that makes our teachers realise how much we value her, we are happy to do, especially as we know that teachers are paid a pittance. (All relative obviously)"*

If the above Bollocks is true you're all fools, if it's meant in jest it is seriously unfunny. Reckon you're just taking the opportunity to be a "casually wealthy" show off

@Flyingdaisy this is what it should be all about! 🙌🏻 A token of your appreciation, not some grand gesture! Some people really never understand the expression “it’s the thought that counts”. xxx

Though not a teacher , I suspect you’ve maybe had a run in with some teacher who’s tried to tell you a few home truths . I joined this website and I’m from a nursing background so kinda hoped chat would b lighthearted but the downright malicious comments on here ( anonymously) of course is really soul destroying. What is this biggie some parents have about teachers? Instead of sitting at home mithering get up, get a degree and B a teacher. Lol I had the same situation of nasty families in community nursing ...... dreadful . Keep your gifts but you can’t take it with you. Oh and yes my kids and grandkids did take a prezzie and got a second row from me if they misbehaved. Your little darlings will grow up and leave and
"be none the worse for having had a telling off. Ha ! End of rant lol

I agree with the OP totally. If everyone is committed to donating a tenner, imagine how many books you could buy for the school library for £300? I know people say that teachers are low paid, but even the starting salary of a teacher is equal to what I earned as a well qualified professional working for a global company. I think a card made by the child is an appropriate gift. Incidentally, I work in a school now (not teaching) and recently had to fill in a declaration of any donations/ gifts / benefits received, so a £300 gift would have to be declared and kept on my file.

I never buy gifts for teachers...I always buy glue sticks towards the end of the year.
When they are down to 3 for a class of 30.

Because otherwise the teacher is buying them, or they are wasting hours waitinG for a glue stick.

I think teachers probably get sick of the tat and gifts made by kids. They would probably rather have nothing or classroom supplies. Also, far to much crap is bought at xmas, we should be buying a lot less for the sake of the environment and resources. Saying that teachers work very hard and I think long hours many unpaid. It's even lower pay for the TA's so I think vouchers are a nice bonus. It's not compulsory so don't contribute if you don't want to.

I actually emailed the school about this and whether their gifting policy could state a cap on gift amounts. But their reply just said parents can give what they want and that it isn't a policy issue as doesn't affect the children
Ahh - you’re THAT Parent.
You DO NOT HAVE TO GIVE. Most parents give an Xmas gift plus an end of term gift and the £10-20 is a cheaper way to do it.
Not all teachers do, but many spend a lot of their own cash on the children in their class, little resources they think the kids will like, things for projects that school budgets don’t supply like food colouring or glass paint for art, they buy Easter eggs, Diwali tea-lights, stickers and stamps, and much more out of their own pockets.
I personally don’t give to the group collection because I like to give a personal gift to teacher and TA.
It’s there, by parents, NOTHING to do with school, I’d you want to join in. If you don’t, then don’t.
I tip delivery men, it’s their job but I have stairs and I offer a financial thank you - and I don’t expect them to declare it either. Sanctimonious much?

Makes life easier for me.
Chip in or don't 🤷‍♀️