yes, I agree that, when someone pops up and says "ah, if the roles were reversed you'd all be shrieking LTB", they're usually talking crap.
It depends on the topic in my opinion.
For example, there's one thread at the moment where someone (woman) is likely to earn more than her DP, but thinks that things should only be 50/50. Yet there's countless other threads where roles are reserved and the consensus IS that a male DP should be paying proportionally more into a serious relationship because they are presumably a shared household.
Equally, I think on phone checking / policing friendships there are quite a lot of double standards. If a man checks up on his wife's whereabouts, tells her she can't go for after lunch drinks because there's male colleagues, he doesn't like her hanging out with an old friend from uni, wants to check her texts etc then he is rightfully called out as being controlling. Yet there are loads of threads where women who say they want to do the same thing are told that they are totally right to do it, trust your instincts, no smoke without fire, if he has an issue it proves you can't trust him.
Whereas common sense would say that snooping and policing friendships can be both controlling and a sign of lacking trust and so there's an issue in the relationship that needs resolving because it's not good behaviour on either part.
You're right that some threads show countless women supporting clearly abusive men, but I think there are times when OPs are given a free pass because they're female.