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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel angry when strangers touch my dd?

281 replies

IcingOnTheCake · 20/08/2007 10:17

My dd is 10mths and it's lovely when people say how cute and pretty she is but why do they feel the need to touch her? People touch her hands, arms and face and i really don't like it. I just want to push them away and shout 'don't touch my baby!', i wouldn't do that of course, i just stand there and feel angry.

It always happens in supermarkets, especially at the checkout. Am i just a grump or is it ok for me to not want strangers touching my dd?

OP posts:
Kathyis6incheshigh · 20/08/2007 11:58

are penny chews still a penny, anyway? Or are they 10p?

mummymagic · 20/08/2007 11:59

That's right. Highly Dangerous. And yet I still accept them (manage to grab them before they gput them directly in dd's mouth) and wait til we get two doors down before I swap them for a more Stoke Newingtonesque rice cake or Organix Carrot Stix or something.

Forget penny chews though. Worse was sitting on the bus with a little girl offering... gasp... Pringles...

littlelapin · 20/08/2007 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
IcingOnTheCake · 20/08/2007 12:07

I am with you littlepin. The fact that someone can make a joke of the fact that there are peederfiles out there who do get off on just stroking a childs face is terriable. I think i will join you on that walk littlepin

OP posts:
Desiderata · 20/08/2007 12:08

It never bothered me when people touched ds as a baby. He's a child of the universe, y'see

littlelapin · 20/08/2007 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Desiderata · 20/08/2007 12:10

Ha ha! I'm MN's resident right wing hippy

callmeovercautious · 20/08/2007 12:11

ROFL - I love Mumsnet!

Perhaps that exploding spacedust is really a secret Military weapon

gess · 20/08/2007 12:16

I see we have a few Daily Mail readers on this thread.

mummymagic · 20/08/2007 12:16

Don't think class has anything to do with it. I was taking the pee out of myself and my fear of non Fresh n Wild-approved snacks.

There are also paedophiles who get off on watching my child but thats their problem. As long as they don't hurt my child of course.

Fwiw I think a lot of it is instinct. There are times when you would go 'oh, I think she's a bit clingy today' and hold her tightly and not let people touch. Or have a polite way of leaving quickly. But in general, I think its important to be part of the community and allow physical contact.

Nip · 20/08/2007 12:20

i've never minded people talking to and touching DS, however there was one time when i was shocked!
DS sat early and i went to the dr's and sat him on the counter (with my arms around him) whilst i signed some forms (where else was i going to put him).
This woman came up, said "its a shame mothers nowadays try and get there kids to grow up to early, poor chap hates it up there" (DS was happily sat smiling at me and receptionist).. She then stuck her finger in his mouth and said "there there, it must be those horrid teeth coming thru" - she'd already got on my goat and i just had to ignore it but putting fingers in his mouth was a bit much! (IMO - pls dont shout at me [grin)

TheWoman · 20/08/2007 12:26
Kathyis6incheshigh · 20/08/2007 12:27

Nip she sounds like a horrid woman - quite apart from the fingers in mouth thing (she should try that on mine - would get them bitten off, ha ha) - what she was basically telling you was that she knows more about your child than you do. Anyone would be at that.

gess · 20/08/2007 12:31

The woman - there was a buggy invented that was just that; had some fliter system.

I find if you leave your child covered in snot no-one approaches them.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 20/08/2007 12:33

LOL Gess.

gess · 20/08/2007 12:34

Taking them out with ds1 helps as well. We often clear a big path that way

geekymummy · 20/08/2007 12:35

YANBU. No stranger better touch my kid!

Seriously, why do folks think it's ok to invade a child's personal space?

Original poster
IcingOnTheCake · 20/08/2007 12:39

It's not about being unsociable or middle class, it's about me not wanting strangers touching my child without even asking if it's ok first. I think that's what annoys me most is the fact that strangers automatically think you will be ok with them touching her. It's so rude, i would never even think about touching someones baby without permission from the parent first.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 20/08/2007 12:40

young children and babies have no such notions of personal space - they are culturally imposed on us as we grow

geekymummy · 20/08/2007 13:01

morningpaper - I'd say quite the contrary, how many times do you remember to kiss auntie maud or uncle fred when you didn't really want to? lol

Speccy · 20/08/2007 13:10

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

christywhisty · 20/08/2007 13:11

Whats the Daily Mail got to do with it, how immature can you get!

I never had a problem with people touching my children, but then my dad was from Cyprus and I was bought up with children being touched and cuddled etc

Speccy · 20/08/2007 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bookwormtailmum · 20/08/2007 13:20

Give your baby something sticky to eat in the pushchair or pram and people'll take a detour to avoid being in touching distance of your LO .

I didn't really get this much but it annoyed me at parties or whatever where I'd sat her in her pushchair with her plate of food (to stop her from running about) and people decided to chat to her which stopped her from eating. How would they like to be disturbed eating their dinner? .

NineUnlikelyTales · 20/08/2007 13:24

My DS loves being made a fuss of and I am happy for him to be touched by people in the street. There have been a couple of odd ones but nothing to worry about. And germs? Nothing could be germier than my DS, whose favourite teether is the toilet seat.