To feel angry when strangers touch my dd?

[IcingOnTheCake]

My dd is 10mths and it's lovely when people say how cute and pretty she is but why do they feel the need to touch her? People touch her hands, arms and face and i really don't like it. I just want to push them away and shout 'don't touch my baby!', i wouldn't do that of course, i just stand there and feel angry.

It always happens in supermarkets, especially at the checkout. Am i just a grump or is it ok for me to not want strangers touching my dd?

It's just your protective mummy instinct (not to be underestimated of course), but they don't mean any harm.

I suffer from this too - I think on here it is referred to as PFC - Precious First Child!

The wierdest thing I has was a woman in Tescos wanting to bless her and kiss her head - we ran away! I felt bad for the Woman though!

I hate this too. I was at the supermarket on Sat and an elderly gent took him upon himself to shake DS (11 months) hand whilst in the trolley. This poor old man had some nasty infection on his bald head which led me to panic about my son catching something similar. UUggh. But then (feeling guilty) I thought that we were probably the only interaction he would have with younger people that day, and maybe he doesn't have any grandchildren and doesn't come in to contact with small ones.... there is no solution, but I do hate it generally.

Doesn't stop with PFC, happens to PSC too!!!

YANBU - I don't actually mind the touching so much as the blowing in her face to make her blink. I feel like screaming KEEP YOUR BLOODY GERMS TO YOURSELF!!! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I BLEW IN YOUR FACE!!!!!

Can you tell I have PMT...?

I think you could say "please don't touch her" quite reasonably

When we were in Madeira people would tousle DD1's hair absently as they passed - it was rather nice actually.

I was very cross with my mum (and a bit alarmed actually) when I visited her shortly after DD2 was born, left mum holding her in the kitchen, came back and the plumber was holding the baby.

But I don't if YABU or N!

blimey they're just being friendly

Perhaps a little......

I like it when people appreciate my children.

YABU. I think it's good for babies to get used to other people and to be friendly. Starts at a young age. Obviously when they are old enough to be unsupervised they need to learn not to get in conversations with strangers, but that's a long way off....

I always loved people being friendly to my ds and he is a very sociable, confident little boy.

never really bothered me always felt quite pleased at the attention ds got and babies love touch and interaction.

not sure i'd appreciate the blowing in the face though, what an odd thing to do!

I don't mind when people say hello to her and talk to her, it's when they feel the need to touch her. I just don't like it and feel annoyed when they do it.

I never liked it tho it did tend to be little old ladies that did it.

I always think its polite to ask first if its a child that you dont know, but I would never walk up to someone that I dont know and touch their baby.

yes you are all being unreasonable

I don't care who holds or touches my children

fgs what harm can come of it?

So what is the people are unpleasant in looks or manner - not everyone is fortunate enough to be born into nice clean middle class homes with Nice Behaviour drummed into their orderly minds from an early age

grr to all of you

but morningpaper, i agree with you!

i think the touching just goes with the smiling and talking, babies are SO touchable. i don't think i would touch a strange baby either, but for some people, who don't have kids in their life, it really makes their day!

frankly they will get more germs from licking toys which have been all over the floor (i am not bothered by that either!).

yes I dont see the harm if people mean well.
Very normal in most cultures for people to make a fuss of a baby, even one they don't know.

But then just because you think it's ok to touch strangers babies and don't care who touches your children, some people do care and it would always be polite to ask before touching. I don't like the thought of someone who has just had a fag then touches my dds mouth saying how cute it is! Just keep your hands to yourself i say!

Morningpaper - I think you have been a bit fierce there I certainly made no reference to anyones looks or manner. It is quite simply the fact that anyone could feel it is their right to walk up to a newborn and stroke and kiss them - usually without even looking you in the face!

I have no problem with friendly people admiring DD it is just the over touchy nature of some of them. Not just a tickle of the foot but stroking her face and kissing!

How would you feel if some stranger came up to you and touched your arm, stroked your hands and face? I think it's an invasion of personal space personally. I don't like it either. It's not an issue of harm - it's an issue of what you prefer. I mean there's no harm in eating marmite. I prefer not to.

YANBU - you're allowed your own preference with your own baby. Grrrr back to the grrrrers.

er yes littlelapin I would

having worked with homeless people and currently working with mental health service care users, who I let hold and play with my children, I know how wonderful it can be for those people to be treated like normal human beings

Children in particular don't have our perception of such people as being 'dirty' or 'mad'

If you want dirty, try inspecting the hands of the barely-continent children in the Reception class who play next to your children...

YANBU, I rarely touch babies in trolleys, purely because when I'm shopping I am too busy controlling my two, but I often steer little kids out of the way with my hand on their head, just so as not to make them trip over, if someone was doing that to my child I wouldn't be too bothered but I found it tedious with my two when people stopped me in the middle of tescos!!

Well i guess it must be me being a grump then. Maybe i should just leave her outside the front door for every stranger who walks past to touch her because clearly that would be ok.