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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Small chocolate bar

352 replies

SoapOperaFamily · 17/11/2019 14:43

Who is BU here? We have a houseful of family today. DD went to the shops and offered to buy everyone a packet of sweets. Person A asked for a small chocolate bar, Person B said they didn’t want anything. DD got home and handed out the sweets. Person B asked Person A if they could break their bar of chocolate into 2 and give them a piece. Person A said they would like to eat this particular bar themselves, but there was more chocolate in the cupboard. Person B said they wanted a piece of Person A’s chocolate in particular. Person B was told they could have ordered their own bar if they wanted one, but Person B wanted a piece of Person A’s chocolate because they didn’t want a whole bar. Words were exchanged on both sides. Should Person A have shared, or should Person B have ordered their own bar?

OP posts:
Winterdaysarehere · 17/11/2019 17:16

I was going to say fil. Recent thread...

missyB1 · 17/11/2019 17:17

Totally irrelevant but what chocolate was it? I’m hungry Grin

LaBarbera · 17/11/2019 17:21

I had a boyfriend who used to do this with chips/dessert. He was obsessed with his physical health (and, like a PP, I was very underweight at the time -- he used to shame me about my minuscule belly and any other imperfections he believed he saw in me) and I think it served the dual purpose of being "virtuous" and getting to control me in some way. Your mum's reaction definitely suggests a hefty dose of the latter! I'm sorry you are dealing with that, OP Flowers

Raspberrytruffle · 17/11/2019 17:23

Person b is a cf ! If it were me I'd give in a break a square off, run it inside my bum cheeks on the sky then begrudgingly offer it Wink

ViciousJackdaw · 17/11/2019 17:31

I WANT TO EAT THE WHOLE DESERT

Won't that be a little dry?

AnotherEmma · 17/11/2019 17:34

🤣

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/11/2019 17:36

I do get the wanting just one square of choc/one malteser/whatever

Wha-?

One square of chocolate?

One Malteaser?

Are you on glue?

Grin
Tinkobell · 17/11/2019 17:40

TBH I'm a bit taken aback at the level of hostility towards Person B. This is just about a nibble of something sweet right? It's not life or death on The Serengeti right?

MrsHardbroom · 17/11/2019 17:40

I think that sometimes people are 'B' so that they can indicate to everyone else how virtuous they are by denying themselves a full sized treat. Fuck em.

Tinkobell · 17/11/2019 17:41

....and I'm a chip thief, everyone's chip thief right?

GetOffTheTableMabel · 17/11/2019 17:44

With people like B (and they usually have a history of it - I've got one too) I always get an extra one just in case. (And then I've got a secret extra one if they don't behave as I expect they will - don't tell them about it.)

I like this idea from Elmau although I’d change it slightly so Person C says I’m going to the shop, do you want anything? Person B says No. Person A says yes please but please bring me 2 bars so I can give one to her when she changes her mind.
I would then absolutely refuse to hand over one piece from my first bar. I will give you a whole bar of chocolate (that you should have asked for in the first place) and you can use your self-control or not. I will not give you a bit of my bar. That would annoy the hell out of Person B. And serve them right,

AlexaAmbidextra · 17/11/2019 17:46

This is just about a nibble of something sweet right? It's not life or death on The Serengeti right?

Well if that’s all it is, you can live without it right?

BackforGood · 17/11/2019 17:47

I agree with everyone about the OP's mother - and particularly the language and the name calling in front of her family. Person B is completely wrong.

However the hatred for Tinkobel seems somewhat over the top.
If out in a restaurant, the puddings are commonly huge. I would not only quite happily let someone have a taste / have a spoonful, but I would expect them too. I can quite understand that someone who couldn't eat one of those huge Sundaes might still like a taste.

AnotherEmma · 17/11/2019 17:48

@Tinkobell
"B is my mum. She said she didn’t want a whole bar, just a bit of mine, and called me a selfish bitch."
Still surprised by the hostility towards B?

Tinkobell · 17/11/2019 17:49

DS recognised I was a 'crisp thief' so if you asked for a crisp he'd hook one out, suck all the flavouring off and then offer it up. Soon stopped me. The worst offenders of all in this sphere are the Mr Whippy sabotagers that request a lick but basically suck the entire top clean off leaving the dumb founded kid with a cone (DH does this)

AdelaideK · 17/11/2019 17:49

B sounds horrible. Calling you a selfish bitch for not sharing when they were originally asked if they wanted anything and said no is awful.

Blatherskite · 17/11/2019 17:50

Imagine it this way @Tinkobell. Someone offers you £50. You say "yes please" but the person sat with you says "no". Then, while they're off fetching the cash, you sit there and you imagine all the things you're going to buy with your £50.

The generous person arrives with your £50 and places it in your hand. You can feel how crisp the note is and all those things you were going to buy are so tantalisingly close.... Then your table mate says "Actually, I could do with a bit of cash" and nicks £25 quid.

Sure, you can still go shopping but you can't buy as much and it won't be quite so fulfilling.

That's how it feels when you've mentally eaten your yummy dessert or pile of chips and then someone pinches half as soon as it arrives!

Buy your own!

category12 · 17/11/2019 17:50

It's layered with issues about food, isn't it? Guilt about having "empty calories" and kind of smugly not having a dessert of your own while others do in faux-self-control, then "it's only a bite/taste of yours" and getting all frosty if the other person doesn't let them have it, and making them out to be petty.

Queenoftheashes · 17/11/2019 17:51

I’d hate this. I don’t like sharing food in general but when you’ve turned it down you’ve got no right to go for mine. Get her to watch the Joey doesn’t share food episode of friends.

Also need to know what particular chocolate bar this was to cause such a fracas

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 17/11/2019 17:52

No @Tinkobel, not everyone is a chip thief, you are just judging everyone else by your own low standards. I never steal chips or any other food from people's plates because (a) I'm not 5 and b) I'm capable of ordering my own food and paying for it without stealing someone else's. Pinching food from someone else's plate is such bad table manners.

OneDay10 · 17/11/2019 17:53

I would have asked both A, B to leave for acting like a pair of idiots over a piece of chocolate. How embarrassing squabbling like that.

ILoveDolly · 17/11/2019 17:56

My thought is that chocolate keeps. Why not ask for a bar, if you only want a tiny piece, then keep the rest for another day? You shouldn't automatically expect people to share.

DoesItGetAnyBetter · 17/11/2019 18:01

“I don’t want one, I’ll just

Apparently she doesn’t really like “sweet stuff”, however it doesn’t stop her stuffing her face with half a plate of mince pies and all the best chocolates in the box on Christmas Day.

DoesItGetAnyBetter · 17/11/2019 18:01

Bad one. That was half a message.

DoesItGetAnyBetter · 17/11/2019 18:03

My MIL does this to my FIL all the time.

I don’t want one I’ll just have some of yours
Angry