Small chocolate bar

[SoapOperaFamily]

Who is BU here? We have a houseful of family today. DD went to the shops and offered to buy everyone a packet of sweets. Person A asked for a small chocolate bar, Person B said they didn’t want anything. DD got home and handed out the sweets. Person B asked Person A if they could break their bar of chocolate into 2 and give them a piece. Person A said they would like to eat this particular bar themselves, but there was more chocolate in the cupboard. Person B said they wanted a piece of Person A’s chocolate in particular. Person B was told they could have ordered their own bar if they wanted one, but Person B wanted a piece of Person A’s chocolate because they didn’t want a whole bar. Words were exchanged on both sides. Should Person A have shared, or should Person B have ordered their own bar?

@easyandy101 how can you possibly cope

I've never minded sharing. DH is the same; we often share snacks/desserts.

Sharing is one thing but that's not what most people are describing here. I'm happy to share food with a select few people and often offer to do so, but the key word is offer. Stealing or demanding food is so bloody selfish. As are people who ask for a little bit and take half or more. That's theft not sharing. People should wait for an offer unless they're very close to the person and know that they won't mind offering a taste then it's ok to ask, but a taste means just that, not 3/4 of the bloody plate. Also it isn't unreasonable to want to eat all of something at times.

Friend/family: "Can I have some of your chips?"
Me: "Sure!"
Both: Nom.

I enjoy sharing, it's a nice thing to do.

In real life, I've never had anyone take more than a few chips or a couple of spoons of dessert. If they did scoff half of it, I'd call them out on it there and then but to say it's wrong to ask is a very extreme view.

Or maybe the world is full of Joey's and as I said, I'm in the minority!

I ain't read the whole thing but is there a bath stealer mentioned somewhere? She does that too, and i have to have the tap end I live with a monster

Jesus Fucking Christ. This is not ok.

no one fucks with my baths

I’m A. B is my mum. She said she didn’t want a whole bar, just a bit of mine, and called me a selfish bitch. Which is a tragically predictable turn of events. We have a complicated relationship.

Do you know, reading the OP I was just thinking that it sounds like something my late mum would have done. She had the appetite of a malnourished sparrow though.

The situation between you two appears to have degenerated pretty quickly though, what with the name calling. Do you think she deliberately didn’t order a chocolate bar to spark an argument?

@BarbaraofSeville I normally just ask for a child/OAP portion if I don't want one of the massive ones the places usually sell.

Yoghurt sloshed onto Christmas Pudding? Yeurk! I'm not sure you could even get away with feeding that to a dog......

You just about could with our dogs.

They are greedy bastards . . .

I'm just surprised how many people are of the 'JOEY DOES NOT SHARE FOOD' variety when many of the people I eat with are happy to share sides if it avoids ordering two full portions of chips when people only want a few, for example.

@BarbaraofSeville. I think you’re missing the point entirely.
What you keep referring to is an agreement to share.

We are talking about people who expect you to share.

There’s a big big difference in being open with friends and family and all agreeing to share food, or offering food if you have too much, to someone just expecting to be able to have a share of your food.

If you agree to share beforehand or when you have too much food you offer to share that’s fine. But if there‘a no conversation around that and someone just expects you to give them some of your food, then that’s bordering into rudeness.

Sharing is one thing but that's not what most people are describing here. I'm happy to share food with a select few people and often offer to do so, but the key word is offer. Stealing or demanding food is so bloody selfish. As are people who ask for a little bit and take half or more. That's theft not sharing. People should wait for an offer unless they're very close to the person and know that they won't mind offering a taste then it's ok to ask, but a taste means just that, not 3/4 of the bloody plate. Also it isn't unreasonable to want to eat all of something at times.

This

I'd call them out on it there and then but to say it's wrong to ask is a very extreme view.

Nobody is saying it’s wrong to ask. What were saying is it’s wrong to expect.

If you ask and someone says no, you don’t call them a ‘selfish bitch’ like the OP’s mom did.

Person B is an idiot, I've been in person a's position and refused point blank. They want chocolate then get their own or miss out!

Do you know what? I’m normally very happy to share stuff. But DD brought me a Turkish Delight in and I like to eat those by nibbling the chocolate off first and then eating the bit in the middle. I don’t know if they’ve shrunk in recent years, but it was really small. If I’d tried to break a piece off, it would not have been possible to do anything other than break it in half and then most of the chocolate would have crumbled off, or I could have given it to her to take a bite of but I didn’t fancy her biting it and wrapping her lips around it to stop the aforementioned crumbling. DD had walked to the shops about half a mile away, and it took her about half an hour to walk there and back. I’d spent that half an hour looking forward to my Turkish Delight. I had a large bar of Dairy Milk in the cupboard and had offered that to my mum but she wanted the piece I was eating. She has form for wanting the thing I have and asking for it until I give her it, and then frequently discards the thing. The chocolate bar is symbolic really, other things I have that she’s wanted include my camera, my holidays, animals, and other stuff. Given that I normally do share, I don’t think I’m BU to want to keep a 50g piece of chocolate to myself whilst offering a different 200g piece to her.

TURKISH-FUCKING-DELIGHT!

I LOVE that stuff! Fry's Turkish Delight .. . .

If I had one you would have to pry it out of my cold, dead hand before I surrendered so much as a bit . . .

And now I want one . . .

I like the Chocolate Creams, too

< glares contemptuously at the last remaining Jaffa cake . . . - calls itself a chocolate biscuit . . . pfffft! >

*bite not bit, but it works anyway

< nice try Autocarrot>

I hope you don't give her your animals . . .

*Technically, non echnically

When I first got together with now DH, a group of us went for a meal including his siblings. We all ordered, but before the meal came I needed the loo, when I came back my meal was there with a piece missing from my meat! I looked around and asked who had helped themselves to my meal (DH's friends and siblings). His sibling said 'I did, it looked so tasty, I didn't think you'd mind' !
I still hold it against his sibling now, over 20 years later.

A Turkish delight bar! Those bars really are tiny - about 50g!

Fry's Turkish Delight bars, one if my favourites, and are not made for sharing! It is not split into sharing pieces even, there is the clue for your cf mother. She is bang out of order, especially as she has form for discarding what she has then been offered after pestering for it. She obviously enjoys winding you up, nasty.

You cannot share a Turkish delight bar.
I want one now.

I don't think your issues with your DM has anything to do with chocolate, OP. But you know this!

I still hold it against his sibling now, over 20 years later.

Your bitterness and vitriol are entirely normal.

20 years is no time a call to come to terms with such trauma.

Mmmmmmm Turkish Delight 🤤🤤🤤

You cannot share a Turkish Delight bar. I put one in my Dad's stocking every year and nobody would ever ask to share that, they're blinking tiny these days (like Waggon Wheels and Topics in the shrinking stakes).
I've read this thread and OP you and your DD sound lovely. Stand strong against the food thieves. Nice people do share, but there's a point where you have to put your foot down and since they were given a chance of chocolate which was refused you were treated really badly.
I've come across a few situations like this and the younger me gave in. These days a raised eyebrow and sarky comment does the trick but I would probably stab someone with a fork if they stole my best chip that I'd been saving til last. I do share with my family but only in a 'did you want a try a bit of mine' or 'swap you a scampi for a bit of steak' way. All of this comes under the 'be kind' rule and those who don't are not nice enough to deserve sharing.

Get a life 🤷‍♀️