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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my husband to share a hotel room with MIL?

396 replies

UnderHisEyeBall · 17/11/2019 10:25

Husband is away attending to family business next week. It is just over an hour away from where we live.

It was agreed he would stay overnight the first night as it involves an early start and a late finish. Now I have learned that MIL has booked him and her into a twin hotel room for TWO nights.

She has always been overbearing, has no boundaries and has caused significant problems (along with FIL) over the course of our relationship.

I think this sharing a room business is grim and have told him I don't want him sharing a room with her. He thinks I am being horrible.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 17/11/2019 14:15

So, op as this is pretty much unanimous that you're being unreasonable and your husband is right, you're being horrible. What will you do? Apologise to him?

Emeraldshamrock · 17/11/2019 14:17

Wow you are thinking about this very weirdly. I think you are projecting for some reason.
There is nothing wrong with having quality time with your adult DC.
His DM is a mouse in comparison to you.
I pity your DH stuck in the middle.
He is right you're being horrible.

Sashkin · 17/11/2019 14:17

I wonder if some of the posters were also the type to walk around their fathers in their underwear which I most definitely think is grim. It’s not a bikini, it's underwear for those who would throw that card out there.

Nope, but fortunately having shared rooms many times with parents, DBro, DS, SIL, and various combinations thereof, it is incredibly easy to change in the bathroom, or tagteam breakfast, and never have to see each other in your underwear at all.

reginafelangee · 17/11/2019 14:19

If your husband is happy to share a twin Ruth his mum then I don't see why you think you should be involved in any way.

YABVU

NumbersStation · 17/11/2019 14:19

Indeed @sashkin

custardbear · 17/11/2019 14:19

I don't see your problem here?! It makes sense financially and it's his mum

looselegs · 17/11/2019 14:19

I wonder if some of the posters were also the type to walk around their fathers in their underwear which I most definitely think is grim. It’s not a bikini, it's underwear for those who would throw that card out there

And this.....
Really??
My daughter is 16 and walks around in her underwear. DH takes it all in his stride because he's her Dad and we have a good, healthy family relationship...she also discusses boyfriend's and periods with him...

saraclara · 17/11/2019 14:32

I wonder if some of the posters were also the type to walk around their fathers in their underwear which I most definitely think is grim. It’s not a bikini, it's underwear for those who would throw that card out there

Do you feel the same about sons who wander around the house in their boxers?

BrokenWing · 17/11/2019 14:33

I wouldn't want to share a hotel room with my mum. She is overbearing and intrusive and I would, could, pay more to have my own space and privacy.

You obviously feel that way about the situation with your dh and your mil. BUT and a huge BUT, it is not your situation or feelings that count, at all, in anyway. This is 100% for your dh to decide how he feels about it and do what he wants.

You can think to yourself, eww, wouldn't be me. But you need to keep it to yourself out of respect for your dh.

AngusThermopyle · 17/11/2019 14:33

You are being utterly unreasonable, it's his MUM!
You are not necessarily being horrible but you are being a bit of a twat.

Lipperfromchipper · 17/11/2019 14:34

My daughter is 16 and walks around in her underwear. DH takes it all in his stride because he's her Dad and we have a good, healthy family relationship...she also discusses boyfriend's and periods with him...

Not that strange at all @looselegs I was the exact same with my father. I was close to both my parents and told them everything, even when I first had sex. I would walk up the hall in my bra and knickers to get something in the utility and if I passed my dad on the way neither of us gave a shite!!

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 17/11/2019 14:41

Wow Op. You sound controlling.

Maryann1975 · 17/11/2019 14:44

This has come up on ‘Trending now’ as to-not-want-my-husband-to-share-a-hotel-room-with
I assumed it was you not wanting him to share with a very attractive work colleague and was going to say YANBU. But to read it’s actually your dh sharing a room with his mum -I’m afraid YABU. What do you think is going to happen? If he is happy with the situation then I can’t see your problem. I’d be fine to share a room with either of my parents, I wouldn’t fancy sharing with MIL, and wouldn’t expect dh to share with my parents, but with your own parents, there’s no drama in this. I’d be more annoyed at having to pay out for separate rooms tbh and glad of only having to pay half.

rainbowvalley17 · 17/11/2019 14:46

The woman gave birth to him, how can it be wrong to share a room with him.

Yeahyeahyeahyeeeeah · 17/11/2019 14:47

They say people marry their parents. That poor bloke.

GnomeDePlume · 17/11/2019 14:49

Got news for you OP. Wait until MIL needs a care home. You'll need to be kind or he might just well dump you.

Sons always love their mother MORE than any wife, get used to it!

Having been through the whole dementia, care home thing with his DM I'm not sure if DH would laugh at you or be offended. He chose her care home with thought and care from a sense of duty. The much loved person she had been was long gone.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 17/11/2019 14:54

I've got 99 problems but DH hypothetically (she's dead) sharing a twin room with his ma ain't one.

Choose your battles OP, this is batshit.

Durgasarrow · 17/11/2019 14:55

It's just stupid to spend 100 percent more money for nothing.

KarmaStar · 17/11/2019 14:56

This reply has been deleted

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flowerbombVR · 17/11/2019 14:57

Serious problems here. [Shakes head]

Walkaround · 17/11/2019 14:58

Oh, ffs. If I were the dh, I wouldn't think my dw was being horrible, I'd think she had a screw loose.

LEELULUMPKIN · 17/11/2019 15:00

Some of the best trips I ever had with my lovely late Mam and Dad were when we shared a room as adults. Short on funds but not on laughs!

What on earth is "grim" about it?

Mulhollandmagoo · 17/11/2019 15:00

I've been on trips with my mum as an adult and shared a room with her, I don't see it's any different that he's male, she's his mum, you've made it clear there are problems with his parents, but you haven't been specific about why you don't want him to share a room with her? Seems practical to me

BlouseAndSkirt · 17/11/2019 15:02

He is a grown up: he can decide whether or not he wants his own room.
He is a grown up: he can drive home late if there is still time to safely do so, and if staying 2 nights puts practical pressure on you. He doesn’t have to stay just because there is space in the room.

It’s up to him and literally NOTHING to do with you.

I

LuckyAmy1986 · 17/11/2019 15:04

Sons always love their mother MORE than any wife, get used to it

@Tensixtysix

Are you being serious?

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