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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want Primark to provide a women only changing room?

366 replies

Amelia1985x · 16/11/2019 15:22

I’m a regular Primark customer and was surprised to go the store yesterday and find all the changing rooms had been redesignated as mixed sex. The shop assistant told me not to worry, because most customers on the ladies’ floor were women, and anyway, she could see down the line of curtained cubicles and would challenge a “dodgy man”. When I questioned her about how she would spot one, she called the Manager as he could explain the policy better.

He told me the world was changing. I asked him why Primark had had sex segregated changing rooms in the first place. No answer. I asked him what specific legislative change or scientific discovery had occurred that made the world different to this time last year. No answer. He said that this arrangement was more inclusive for nonbinary people.

I explained that I didn’t feel that comfortable stripping to my knickers in a mixed area, and he told me I could always use the one disabled cubicle which has a lockable door. Clearly this has been designed for mixed sex use and did have a lock, but obviously I would then be blocking its use for a disabled person. He suggested there was no reason to be concerned. Yet when I think about me and my women friends, all our me-too moments, - of being flashed at, or masturbated at, sexual assaults and rapes – all have been my men.

The manager was unabashed. He said Primark had done research – even though he couldn’t produce it, and there were no leaflets or posters to explain this HUGE policy change to customers. He told me I was the only person who had ever complained.

So I guess this is what I want to know. Am I a dinosaur? Am I being unreasonable to want a women only changing room?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Eckhart · 19/11/2019 12:54

No, a thread about an attitude I've noticed. Is it allowed to post a thread about an attitude you've noticed on more than one thread, and question the attitude in a general sense? Or have I broken protocol?

Inebriati · 19/11/2019 12:57

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD

''The 'Ford Pinto' model of ethics.'' - Ford produced a car, the Pinto, with a serious flaw in the design - the petrol tank was located underneath the rear bumper so in a rear end collision it would catch fire.
Fords lawyers calculated it would cost less to pay out compensation to the victims and families that it would to recall the cars and fix them.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 19/11/2019 14:10

That's exactly it! Collateral damage if you will...

So if they start getting scary lawsuits - played at their own game - then they will have to reconsider.

thenightsky · 19/11/2019 14:50

gosh that brought back memories. I recall hearing about The Ford Pinto situation back in the 80s!

M3lon · 19/11/2019 14:54

Well...

  1. I never shop in Primark,
  2. I don't feel any different about women or men seeing me partially clothed through a gap in the curtains,
  3. I don't actually care if someone one wants to get off on the basis of being in a changing room
  4. I don't care if someone videos me changing for this purpose (I mean good luck to them if they can't get turned on by a video with me in it)
  5. I don't care if men flash me.

But Primark really REALLY need to put in proper locking cubicles if they are going gender free with the changing rooms, because people need to feel safe when shopping and for some people that requires locks on the doors.

M3lon · 19/11/2019 14:55

I like the 'ford pinto' business - that's a great explanation.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 19/11/2019 15:17

Anyway I wandered through Primark today and for chatting to an assistant on the tolls.

‘Can I ask - you must have heard this one - but is it true that the changing rooms are mixed sex?’
‘Oh I don’t know about that...’
‘I’ve read about it - I don’t want to be changing in a mixed sex area... in case... I really don’t feel comfortable with that...’
(Laughs) ‘oh yes we get all sorts of funny people in there I can tell you! But mostly it’s ladies in the ladies section...’
‘But what about the lingerie and the kids sections... Or teenage girl...anyone can use these at all’
‘Hmmmmmm’
‘And the staff have to manage all that? I hope they are training you how to deal with troublemakers’
😕😟🤨

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 21/11/2019 07:26

I saw that Harrods has also gone down this route and Bravissimo. So Harrods - beloved my ME visitors - and a bra shop?

How much power do these lobby groups wield? And why aren’t they tackling global warming or world hunger?

SourDoughSophie · 21/11/2019 07:31

I also dont have a problem where there is an attendant on hand, lockable cubicles and the changing is marked as unisex.

I do have a problem where they are male or female changing rooms, no supervision or lockable doors and anyone can go where they feel “comfortable”.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 21/11/2019 07:34

I have a problem because it has been decided wholesale that this is what people want. We didn’t have it before so why now? It is being either sneaked in or just done and the response by the companies is ‘we are being inclusive - fuck off #nodebate’.

What other minority groups in history has had this much sway?

Eckhart · 21/11/2019 07:56

Same for me SourDoughSophie, but I think it needs to be more than an attendant. I think a security guard should be posted in permanent position directly by the changing room entrance. They employ security guards in large stores anyway, I think this would be the least they could do.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 21/11/2019 08:00

Because I really can’t see the Saturday staff not thinking ‘I don’t get paid enough to tackle that person there who looks a bit dodgy’.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 21/11/2019 08:01

The rooms also need signs to alter changers to the fact. So many people just don’t know about this.

Eckhart · 21/11/2019 08:03

LordProf are they still labelled 'Women's', currently?

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 21/11/2019 08:07

Some are - Primark ones do say ‘women’s’ but a number of stores have dropped the sex bit and just have ‘fitting rooms’ in the men’s, women’s and kids areas - the staff seem to think that common sense will prevail and no man would possibly want to be in with the ladies or kids.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 21/11/2019 08:08

And if the security guards are anything like my nearby M&S they will be idly following normal shoppers around and ignore the alarms when a shoplifters rubs out with 2 bottles of champagne in his hands...

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