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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want Primark to provide a women only changing room?

366 replies

Amelia1985x · 16/11/2019 15:22

I’m a regular Primark customer and was surprised to go the store yesterday and find all the changing rooms had been redesignated as mixed sex. The shop assistant told me not to worry, because most customers on the ladies’ floor were women, and anyway, she could see down the line of curtained cubicles and would challenge a “dodgy man”. When I questioned her about how she would spot one, she called the Manager as he could explain the policy better.

He told me the world was changing. I asked him why Primark had had sex segregated changing rooms in the first place. No answer. I asked him what specific legislative change or scientific discovery had occurred that made the world different to this time last year. No answer. He said that this arrangement was more inclusive for nonbinary people.

I explained that I didn’t feel that comfortable stripping to my knickers in a mixed area, and he told me I could always use the one disabled cubicle which has a lockable door. Clearly this has been designed for mixed sex use and did have a lock, but obviously I would then be blocking its use for a disabled person. He suggested there was no reason to be concerned. Yet when I think about me and my women friends, all our me-too moments, - of being flashed at, or masturbated at, sexual assaults and rapes – all have been my men.

The manager was unabashed. He said Primark had done research – even though he couldn’t produce it, and there were no leaflets or posters to explain this HUGE policy change to customers. He told me I was the only person who had ever complained.

So I guess this is what I want to know. Am I a dinosaur? Am I being unreasonable to want a women only changing room?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 16/11/2019 15:56

YANBU

Still let’s live in hope a few men might complain about this and things will change

Because sadly it won’t no matter how many women complain

noblegiraffe · 16/11/2019 15:59

‘Don’t worry, men probably won’t come in because this is the women’s floor’ would surely be better replaced with ‘don’t worry, men won’t come in because it’s a women’s changing room.’

CigarsofthePharoahs · 16/11/2019 16:00

stacyontheright.com/catalogue-of-sexual-crimes-committed-at-target-stores/

Two seconds of googling found me someone who'd collated a lot of the incidents at America's Target store, one of the first to bring in "gender neutral" changing.
It's a bad idea.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 16/11/2019 16:01

The M&S near me has the men’s and kids on the same floor - so men can use the changing room at the back of the kids section then?

MsChatterbox · 16/11/2019 16:05

I feel if these things are going to be put into place then they need to redesign cubicles to be floor to ceiling lockable door. Half the time the curtain doesn't even cover the gap properly.

Sparklybanana · 16/11/2019 16:22

What a fun world our daughters are growing up in. One where precedent is given to a tiny, tiny minority so they feel more comfortable, whilst ignoring the comfort of the half the population, some of who have history of being abused, some of which have religious beliefs preventing intermixing and some who are just simply uncomfortable with the thought of teenage boys bursting in whilst undressed. Yet only women are labelled as bigoted when complaining.

And then shops are the first to complain that no one uses the high street anymore and online shopping is getting too expensive for them due to delivery. I wonder why...

Why can’t they just have men, women and mixed? Why does everything need to be mixed?

Amelia1985x · 16/11/2019 16:29

Well this is reassuring- Store Manager sort of gave me the impression I was a dinosaur to complain.

Have been aware that a number of stores allow people who self identify as the opposite gender into changing rooms. This feels like a step further... an unprecedented free for all, where pervy blokes no longer even have to pretend to be anything 🙄

My approach is to always ask and to complain about the policy every time I buy something 🤷🏻‍♀️ In my experience, if you use men’s changing rooms they are often much better than the ladies... for example with proper doors and locks when the ladies in the same store will have curtains - presumably because men like privacy from each other.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 16/11/2019 16:30

I went to a Next that didn’t have a kids changing room so I had to take DS to the men’s. I installed him in a cubicle, told him what to do and went to sit outside. The men in there didn’t look especially comfortable with the situation.

Could women take over men’s (now mixed) changing rooms? Go in in groups and loudly try on coats and jumpers? Maybe if both men and women are complaining it might make a difference?

PaisleyPrintz · 16/11/2019 16:31

Oh dear. Good thing I hardly ever shop at Primark. It's every sex pests wet dream to be able to get into shop dressing rooms to get a peep at/film blissfully unaware naked women while they wack off.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 16/11/2019 16:32

If a man was to say this to me is tell him to ask his mum, sisters, granny and aunties if they would be comfortable changing with stranger men - and if he would be happy if their girlfriend or wife did (they have already come over as all caveman, so you can assume they won’t be happy for that).

popehilarious · 16/11/2019 16:36

Another thread here, including a post about a man in Topshop changing rooms filming women
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3640934-Changing-Room-Silliness-In-A-Primark-Store

Findumdum1 · 16/11/2019 16:36

Jesus Christ the degenerates I see in my local Primark anyway even before this, I really would not want to be stripped down to my underwear backed into a tight space with every person and his dog having free access to the area!

Emeraldshamrock · 16/11/2019 16:37

Yanbu OP. There will be no female only area's in the future.

NaviSprite · 16/11/2019 16:38

It’s one of the most obvious examples of the erosion of women’s rights and it bothers me hugely. Allowing these changes for ‘woke’ reasons, without applying critical thought to the fact that men with less than savoury ideas will exploit them, is ludicrous. But when we as women dispute these changes we are branded as TERF’s and made out to be some big scary villain/oppressor. It makes me angry, scared and frustrated.

Bellaxx8 · 16/11/2019 16:38

It wouldn’t bother me and I don’t see a problem with it.

Also I don’t know why your moaning at the manager, it wouldn’t of been him that changed the policy. Complain higher up if you don’t like it.

Emeraldshamrock · 16/11/2019 16:40

Could women take over men’s (now mixed) changing rooms? Go in in groups and loudly try on coats and jumpers? Maybe if both men and women are complaining it might make a difference?
I think you are onto something. Let all the females invade males spaces.

BreadSauceHmm · 16/11/2019 16:41

This is just shooting themselves in the foot especially as they don't have an online shopping website. A lot of women will take their custom elsewhere.

SpeculumCrushingGoblet · 16/11/2019 16:44

YANBU
Current ideology driven changes are bonkers and not fair on women at all.
Wait until there’s a rise in hidden camera cases and voyeurism, maybe then we’ll be listened to.

Sneezeandooops · 16/11/2019 16:50

With lockable doors I would be fine with this, but curtains dont close properly at the best of times. How would you know if the changing room is occupied with curtains, as some people close them back across when empty

PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 16/11/2019 16:52

So can women go in the men’s changing room in these shops now?

SpeculumCrushingGoblet · 16/11/2019 16:53

Is it South Korea where there have to be daily sweeps for hidden cameras?
I’m not sure I’d be ok with lockable mix sex cubicles. Predatory men have a habit of finding a way to get what they want, hence the reason for dingle sex spaces in the first place.

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 16/11/2019 16:56

This to me sounds like a store policy as it's definitely not a Primark policy. I work in Primark & it's spread over three floors with three fitting rooms. Two of those floors are female only & one is male only. One of the female fitting rooms has a male working on the tag desk & when the staff have to go into the fitting rooms to either assist or do the routine check of picking up left hangers / rubbish - he has to ask a female member of staff off the shop floor to go in for him. So go back to that Primark, ask to speak to THE manager (not a department manager or floor manager) & explain the issue.

Fruityb · 16/11/2019 16:59

Sainsbury’s only have one changing room and it never occurred to me that it would be mixed use. I just used it as the cubicles are all lockable. Asda is the same now I think about it. I think the majority of the time it’s women as I know very few men that actually try things on.

If they lock I really am not too fussed in all fairness. Curtains no chance.

hopelesssuitcase · 16/11/2019 17:02

Why on earth shouldn't the OP complain to a store manager ? If he doesn't represent the store I don't know what he's paid for. He also mentioned no one else had complained - so quite good to actually speak to people working there, as well as passing objections higher up.

HJWT · 16/11/2019 17:13

I would refuse to use them, it just means a lot more returns...

My DH also would refuse to use them!

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