McDonald’s isn’t a ‘treat’

[Busybeebeebee]

I’ll try and keep this simples.

Both my sons go to their dad alternate weekends Friday 4pm- Sunday 3pm.
On a Friday when he picks them up, they go to McDonald’s for tea.
Saturday they tend to go somewhere like Brewers Fayre which although is marginally better still processed chicken crap with fries and a token corn on the cob.
Sunday it’s back to McDonald’s for lunch.

He genuinely sees no issue with this.

AIBU?

YABU - yes, all kids like McDonald’s and twice in a weekend is fine.

YANBU - cooking something decent for growing kids twice a fortnight isn’t difficult!

Don’t get me wrong, in an emergency I would stop and grab them something in McDonald’s but I can’t get my head around it being something to get excited about. 4 shitty nuggets, tiny portion of fries and a milkshake. They don’t even like the toys.

I hold my hands up, I’m not a food nazi or anything like that, I just genuinely am astounded.

@flobonobo quite honestly i think peoples obsession with food, whats in it and every fad bloody diet is a problem. IMO it's a big aid in eating disorders. There is no good or bad food in this house, it's all food. Good/bad labels shit me in food.
I've never read a label, never checked a salt, sugar or fat content and bought differently cos of it. We eat to taste and what fits our budget.
Dd has never been under or over weight, has always been on the norm for growth and mentally is so bloody switched on Its annoying some days, nothing gets past her so I can't see how we eat has affected her badly. She also isn't neurotic about food like some families, not paranoid about a bit of chocolate or whatever like some kids "oh mum will get angry, i had chocolate on Thursday last month"

Are the kids fed, happy and have a solid roof over their head? Does he love them? If yes then what's the friggen issue?

Trust me, he does a lot of other dickhead stuff but that’s a whole other post!

I wouldn't want my child eating pure junk twice over a weekend. There's a difference between something even like beans on toast, pizza and chips vs McDonalds which is effectively just a mountain of salt and sugar with no nutritious content whatsoever.

SuperMeerkat
You sound very controlling. Presumably it’s your ex’s time to be the full time parent in charge so if he chooses McDonald’s then it’s up to him, stop sticking your beak in.
A parent wanting their kids not to eat pure junkfood for lunch/dinner twice in a couple of day? I take it you wrote "controlling" as a compliment, right?

@SuperMeerkat why does she sound controlling? Caring about her children’s diet. I’ve struggled with my weight since teenage years. The link from food eaten in younger years to obesity in teenage - plus years, is there. Please tell me what is controlling about coming to a forum and asking advice as you wouldn’t parent the same way? Over ridingly wanting the best for your children, which if you weigh it up, the father doesn’t appear that bothered - most wants ease. If your mum can’t look out for you for fear of criticism who can?!

Do you have children with a parent you have split from? I do. And we do not parent the same. He’s not bothered at all about diet, teeth, education. I have to double parent to make sure they have a chance at sucess!

@squeekums I’d admire your chilledness BUT food / diet hugely linked to brain function, illness, cancer etc.

I’m not OTT, but you have to balance veg, fruit, fibre, protein intake. Carbs and sugar are rife. Sugar feeds cancer cells for example, a diet of just processed protein will screw your gut. Bad gut bacteria will make you depressed and sluggish. Whilst you can be laxidrxical about food, it has a knock on effect to your ability to function and be happy and be successful x

It's a form of unreasonable treatment for children, in fact verging on harm.

“He's lazy and a bad parent.“
He’s lazy and that’s bad parenting. Better surely?

Childhood obesity in the UK is through the roof. Particularly among those with parents with lower incomes.

My ex used to be a bit like this-out for most meals, take out, or if not pasta with pre package sauce (which is fine as an easy go to-but means that I never have an easy go to).
I was therefore stuck when they are with me doing all the heavy lifting trying to give them home cooked from scratch healthier meals which more often than not they wouldn't eat because not Nando's or whatever.
He seems to have improved slightly lately in fairness.

That said there is nothing I could have done about it if he hadn't.And they weren't dying of malnutrition.

I think you just have to file this in the box labelled 'irritating but nothing you can do' and crack on really....

@historysock yes- same here! You’re left with double parenting as you have to make up for the crap parent! But he’s seen as the most amazing dad ever by our children as he gives them exactly what they want instead of parenting!

One of my children is so sugar addicted as a result it’s scary. Awful mood swings.

I think it's unfair on you and lazy. While it's unlikely to do them much harm as it's only once a fortnight, that is because somebody else (you) is taking the time to shop and cook healthy food the rest of the time.

Thing is if one parent is doing all the junk food then the other parent doesn’t get to share the junk food visit. Junk food isn’t great for the body, moderation is probably once a month in reality for a growing body that needs decent nutrition

Choose your battles.

This one isn’t worth it.

It's lazy and annoying because it wouldn't really take much effort to even do something basic like shove a pizza in the oven and serve it with a few slices of cucumber for at least one meal.

However, it probably isn't worth getting worked up about. At least he is feeding them and at least he is an ex.

Leave him be.

Ok boomer

It makes me laugh when posters come out with the classic ‘but she’s the mother, she has a RIGHT to know what the kids are eating!’. So what else should she be interfering with when the kids are in their dad’s care? What time they go to bed? How often they watch tv? What type of toothpaste they brush their teeth with?

Stop being controlling, unless of course you’re willing to let your ex give you a full critique of your day to day parenting? Because I can guarantee there will be stuff that you do that he will also disagree with.

Ok boomer

He gets to be the fun parent - though even for kids, the appeal of MacDonalds must start to wear off when it's twice every other weekend. But she cannot give them lazy junk food once in a while because their lazy father has filled the quota. It's not very fair. (On either the OP or her children.) That's the problem with it.
This. @BrendasUmbrella. It’s lazy and selfish IMHO.

YANBU

That's so unhealthy. No fresh fruit or veg all weekend.

Beans or egg on toast would be better. He is lazy.

Who says they have no fresh fruit or veg all weekend? I'd imagine dad and his wife would have a fruit bowl into which the children are allowed to delve, most people do.

McDonalds do fresh fruit, presumably Brewers Fayre serve veg and fruit.

I wonder if the op has actually asked her children whether they enjoy what they eat on the weekends they are at dad's, I would, just casually. When they get fed up of the same routine, they'll tell him.

We must remember this happens on alternate weekends, not every weekend.

Helmlover1
it's actually really depressing if some parents are so immature they cannot reach some compromise on how to raise their kids when they are separated. When it's about the kids health and safety, yes, it's the mother and father's problem!

Children are not a toy or a way to spite the other - they are your children.

JusticeForSandra- compromise or control? I would be furious if I had an ex that was telling me where I could and couldn’t take my kids for food and what I should or shouldn’t be feeding them. As long as the kids aren’t being abused or neglected then it’s really nothing to do with the other parent.