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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

McDonald’s isn’t a ‘treat’

265 replies

Busybeebeebee · 15/11/2019 16:26

I’ll try and keep this simples.

Both my sons go to their dad alternate weekends Friday 4pm- Sunday 3pm.
On a Friday when he picks them up, they go to McDonald’s for tea.
Saturday they tend to go somewhere like Brewers Fayre which although is marginally better still processed chicken crap with fries and a token corn on the cob.
Sunday it’s back to McDonald’s for lunch.

He genuinely sees no issue with this.

AIBU?

YABU - yes, all kids like McDonald’s and twice in a weekend is fine.

YANBU - cooking something decent for growing kids twice a fortnight isn’t difficult!

Don’t get me wrong, in an emergency I would stop and grab them something in McDonald’s but I can’t get my head around it being something to get excited about. 4 shitty nuggets, tiny portion of fries and a milkshake. They don’t even like the toys.

I hold my hands up, I’m not a food nazi or anything like that, I just genuinely am astounded.

OP posts:
PersephoneOP · 15/11/2019 16:42

YANBU

he has a responsibility to provide healthy food for his kids, and like you said, it really shouldn't be that difficult for him to do that twice a fortnight

HavelockVetinari · 15/11/2019 16:42

It's not acceptable, what a lazy ballbag he is. It also means you don't get to give them treats much because they eat so poorly at their father's.

MindyStClaire · 15/11/2019 16:43

Once every time he had them wouldn't bother me, but never cooking them a healthy dinner himself is taking the piss.

HUZZAH212 · 15/11/2019 16:44

Daft question but I take it he has his own place and isn't living out of a hotel room or something?

PurpleDaisies · 15/11/2019 16:44

For me, it is a treat. Treat implies rare. Twice in a weekend is too much (unless it’s breakfast then a main!).

Ouchmyleg · 15/11/2019 16:46

I think once a weekend would be ok and seems to be pretty much standard for Dads taking kids for the weekend but more than that is too much and also the lunch out too. It’s really excessive.

Original poster
Busybeebeebee · 15/11/2019 16:47

I don’t think he or his wife cook, I mean he never used to when I was married to him but what makes it more ironic is he is a qualified personal trainer Confused and funnily enough one of the last arguments we had in our marriage was him saying he had to have high quality protein in 6 meals a day and I should adjust my cooking and meals to accommodate.

Oh how the worm has turned!

Also ironic that he’s been in the local media lately because he’s apparently earning over £10k a month so it’s not like he can’t afford somewhere better!

I try and make sure they have healthy meals, I’m no saint but when they are home the only processed stuff they get is Pre-breaded fish once a week, other than that I make it all from scratch (because I was an overweight child and have worked as a chef so I have no excuse not to really).

I thought maybe I was being arsey when he said they were off to McDonalds just now at pick up, but it’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one who thinks it’s lazy.

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 15/11/2019 16:50

Well you sound a bit contradictory. Your argument is against it being regular, normal food. That's the opposite of a treat. So you seem to be saying it should be seen as a treat - an occasional, special thing.

But also that you don;t enjoy McDs. WEll so what. Dou the dcs like it? Regard it as a treat?

I think it is a rare, frivolous treat and should be kept as such.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/11/2019 16:51

Bear in mind that some people not only can't cook but really have no interest in food and cooking. If their father is the sort of person who generally lives on takeaways or ready meals, he's not suddenly going to turn into Masterchef.
I think you will need to let it go. It won't kill them. And, as they get older, they may start complaining to their dad on their own behalf.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 15/11/2019 16:53

Obviously he should be providing decent nutrition for his DC, but he probably never will as I suspect he's either too lazy or lacking in ability. It's shit but at least they have you to balance their diet.

DH used to give the DC junk food when it was his turn to sort out dinner, he said it was 'fine occasionally'. I pointed out that he was using up all the 'occasionally' and there was none left for me. He doesn't mind cooking he just couldn't be bothered with the mental effort of planning and shopping, but apparently it was fine to expect me to do that, so I complained every single time and suddenly the mental effort was less of a pain than putting up with my justified criticism.

Redspider1 · 15/11/2019 16:53

He’s just being lazy and labelling it a treat.

Bluerussian · 15/11/2019 16:53

McDonalds do a lot more than four little nuggets, their menu looks varied and interesting nowadays. Brewers Fayre looks alright, especially the Sunday roast.

Bear in mind that you have the boys four days out of seven and can give them good healthy meals but if you get on with their dad reasonably well, recommend he tries taking them somewhere else (Nandos is nice) or buys a really good lasagne. Sainsbury's taste the difference are good and this luxury one from Iceland is superb - I used to buy two for me and husband but that was too much for us to eat in one go, one and a half was sufficient (husband used to eat the rest for breakfast the next morning). It would be fine between three of them. www.iceland.co.uk/p/iceland-beef-and-pancetta-al-forno-lasagne-450g/59645.html

Also suggest fruit, cheese and biscuits, ready made trifles or jellies.

They'll be fine.

MrsKoala · 15/11/2019 16:54

It's the type of food my kids eat everyday so I wouldn't be bothered by it particularly. If DH has them without me they all eat biscuits or go out somewhere like that.

Are the children fussy OP? Is he the type of person who cooks for himself?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/11/2019 16:54

Take them to McDonalds every day for every meal. That should do it.

WaxOnFeckOff · 15/11/2019 16:54

I don't think I would be too judgy if this was some guy living in a bedsit with no real resources to cook etc.

But, he seems to be a grown man with money and a home and partner so I think they should make more of an effort.

It's nice for them to have routines and traditions that aren't yours, A McDs either on the pick up or drop off day (i.e. once a fortnight) is enough imo.

Ours got them every six months after dental check up and even as adults, we tend to stick to that - which I appreciate is a bit bizarre. I just don't really think about it the rest of the year but quite enjoy it when we go.

Redspider1 · 15/11/2019 16:54

It’s a crap diet tbh and he should be ashamed.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/11/2019 16:55

Basically what this means is that in order for your dcs to eat well, you need to cook daily and go out rarely. Not even together anymore as so often happens, you’re still doing the wife work. Lazy and pretty rubbish all round.

Endspeciesism · 15/11/2019 16:55

McCruelty tortures chickens and cows.

DeRigueurMortis · 15/11/2019 16:56

It's bloody lazy and irresponsible in that it's normalising eating fast food at a frequency that's unhealthy.

It's not hard to grill some fish fingers, pop some potato's in a oven to bake and open a tin of beans for example. Even low salt baked beans on wholmeal toast is a heathy option.

Or given what he's earning buying some heathy choice children's ready meals from M&S to stick in the freezer if he really can't cook.

OnTheFenceWithMostViews · 15/11/2019 16:57

It is lazy however unfortunately I think that's the case with many nrp.

We often have take away on a Saturday. So if that means take away when dsc here then so be it. But does have a roast on a sun.. And healthy breakfast and lunch.

Spied · 15/11/2019 16:58

Its up to Dad and the DC.
Am sure you wouldn't be happy if he started analysing what you do with the DC.
There's really much worse things to get riled over. What they do on their time is up to them so long as children are fed and happy.

wendz86 · 15/11/2019 16:58

My kids often get treated to dinner out with their dad but not three times in a weekend and twice to mcdonalds. Does seem like he could make an effort to at least cook one of those days.

Original poster
Busybeebeebee · 15/11/2019 16:59

Don’t get me wrong, if the kids loved it and they wanted it say once a month or something I would be like ‘ok let’s do it as a treat’ so I’m not entirely saying it’s completely off limits but what I’m saying is that something like that isn’t a treat.

There’s quite a few sexual comparisons in my mind I could do about things which are a treat and would be boring if they happened every time but I’ll keep it clean as this is a family thread Grin

OP posts:
MrsPussinBoots · 15/11/2019 16:59

Yanbu. My ex is the same but his excuse is he's staying in a hotel when he sees DD so can't cook. Saturday tea = sausage and chips from the takeaway. Sunday lunch = sausage and chips from a different takeaway. Twice a month, always the same to the point that I don't even cook sausages or chips any more.

sonjadog · 15/11/2019 16:59

So four times in one month they go to McDonalds? I wouldn't get worked up about it.