McDonald’s isn’t a ‘treat’

[Busybeebeebee]

I’ll try and keep this simples.

Both my sons go to their dad alternate weekends Friday 4pm- Sunday 3pm.
On a Friday when he picks them up, they go to McDonald’s for tea.
Saturday they tend to go somewhere like Brewers Fayre which although is marginally better still processed chicken crap with fries and a token corn on the cob.
Sunday it’s back to McDonald’s for lunch.

He genuinely sees no issue with this.

AIBU?

YABU - yes, all kids like McDonald’s and twice in a weekend is fine.

YANBU - cooking something decent for growing kids twice a fortnight isn’t difficult!

Don’t get me wrong, in an emergency I would stop and grab them something in McDonald’s but I can’t get my head around it being something to get excited about. 4 shitty nuggets, tiny portion of fries and a milkshake. They don’t even like the toys.

I hold my hands up, I’m not a food nazi or anything like that, I just genuinely am astounded.

Sorry, got your name wrong, spanglydangly

How is pasta with some jar of sauce or a dollop of pesto twice a month two days in a row any better than McDonalds?

And you would be surprised how much cleanup some people can generate in a kitchen...

Just to make it clear, I also sent my DCs off to their father EOW, and I know for a fact that it was there that DD4 got into the habit of drinking fizzy beverages and eating sugary crap for breakfast, with Doritos or some other junk as a snack. His fridge contained 6-packs of Coke and 7-Up, beer, and sometimes some butter. He under-cooked everything he made them for dinner - bitter experience caused them to not eat what he cooked, even items like mashed potatoes, which made him angry. But asking him to leave something on the grill or on the pan a few minutes longer also made him angry. And his kitchen always looked as if a bomb had hit it after cooking.

YANBU. Why should you have to be the only parent to worry about nutrition? And I love all of the posts saying that you should accept mediocre parenting, because it’s better than no parenting. The bar is set so low for men, that just turning up is good enough. And yet, Mothers on here are judged pretty harshly when it comes to their kids’ diet.

My kids eat McDonald’s as a treat. Usually once every 1-2 weeks. That much McDonald’s and going to the restaurant seems ott. That’s also a lot of money on food.

Slightly different issue with my sons dad. Sometimes he’ll take him out to eat but let him have massive portions. Like adult sized meals (he’s 8). 2 portions, extra nuggets, 3 sausages, going back for extras. Letting him have massive amounts of chocolate etc.. My son has autism and doesn’t recognise when he’s full. I keep trying to tell my ex but he won’t listen and let’s him eat and eat. Thankfully he only sees him for a short time so DS hasn’t gained any weight from it BUT is expecting us to let him eat the same 😭

Oh bugger off User.. It is not a race to the bottom. Attacking the op because she'd like her kids not to be fed crap is ridiculous. We can all say there are worse sitiations than ours, doesnt make an issue not an issue because elsewhere worse is happening.

Wouldn't it be lovely if mothers got credit like that for 'trying to be a mother'?

Trying to do the laundry every six weeks... Trying to get around to the kitchen floor once a month... Trying to pack a school lunch every so often...

Is he a shit cook? Are the kids fussy? No, McDonald's isn't a treat, but you feed your kids presumably healthy the rest of the time? YABU

But as has been said upthread, why shoyld the op have the burden, expense and hassle of providing healthy fresh food ALL the time because ex uses up all the junk food quota most people would think ok. Its lazy no matter whay way you look at it. You can be the worst cook in the world and learn to do egg on toast!

@FishCanFly so it's the mothers job to feed the kids healthy stuff? The father is ok to take the lazy option?

What a weird set of values you have!

That's not what she said, spanglydangly.

And what a weird set of values if one only objects to the McD's food all weekend every other weekend on grounds that it is ruled out as an option for the mother if the father does it.

@mathanxiety have you had too many wines?

And what a weird set of values if one only objects to the McD's food all weekend every other weekend on grounds that it is ruled out as an option for the mother if the father does it.

As this makes no sense!

Here's some punctuation that may help ,,,...?!

Ahh, I think @mathanxiety I've deciphered it now!

No it's not the only reason, it's one of the reasons but the main reason is that he should be a reasonable parent? Don't you agree?

Of course he should be a reasonable parent, a reasonable human being. It's something we should all aspire to.

But it's pointless trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, and presumably the OP has experience of this man's ability to be reasonable:
one of the last arguments we had in our marriage was him saying he had to have high quality protein in 6 meals a day and I should adjust my cooking and meals to accommodate.

Just because the exH does McD's EOW doesn't mean the OP can't take them out somewhere for a meal. It doesn't have to be burgers, fries, etc.

I don't think she was being arsey making a remark about McDonalds when he picked the DCs up. It's not the greatest food choice. It's not the greatest parenting by a long shot. It makes no sense given the exH's job. However, she isn't backed into a nutritional corner as some have suggested; she could take them somewhere better than McDs or Brewers Fayre.

The problem with visitation is that if you want a real, effective say in how the other party parents the children when they are away from you, you have to also let them have a say in your day to day decisions. It sucks but it is what it is.