McDonald’s isn’t a ‘treat’

[Busybeebeebee]

I’ll try and keep this simples.

Both my sons go to their dad alternate weekends Friday 4pm- Sunday 3pm.
On a Friday when he picks them up, they go to McDonald’s for tea.
Saturday they tend to go somewhere like Brewers Fayre which although is marginally better still processed chicken crap with fries and a token corn on the cob.
Sunday it’s back to McDonald’s for lunch.

He genuinely sees no issue with this.

AIBU?

YABU - yes, all kids like McDonald’s and twice in a weekend is fine.

YANBU - cooking something decent for growing kids twice a fortnight isn’t difficult!

Don’t get me wrong, in an emergency I would stop and grab them something in McDonald’s but I can’t get my head around it being something to get excited about. 4 shitty nuggets, tiny portion of fries and a milkshake. They don’t even like the toys.

I hold my hands up, I’m not a food nazi or anything like that, I just genuinely am astounded.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not gonna kick off about it with him, it’s more knowing I’m not entirely mental thinking it’s not right to be feeding them like that.

I sort of get people saying 'well it's only four times a month' but it also stops you ever taking them. It stops it being a treat and makes junk food normal. Rubbish!

It's not great no, and you're not mental- but it's also not uncommon. A lot of ex's also just spend time sitting in the pub or in soft play ignoring their kids during contact too, but it's not up to you what happens if no harm comes to them. It's hard I know as my ex feeds my kids really lazy crap on the weekends but I'm beyond caring these days. They're slim and active, they'll be fine.

If he's really earning £72k a year, net of business expenses, then YANBU. On that kind of money he has no excuse for not feeding his children healthily, whether he does that at home or at a cafe. McDonald's all the time is lazy (and cheapskate!) Disney-dadding.

Brewers Fayre, is an ideal place to take the children, Roasts on Sunday, and some really healthy options at other times. Why should they spend their time cooking at the weekend, when they can enjoy eating out.
I dont see a problem here? No washing up, more time to spend with the children, if anything he is spending too much.

(Correction, £120k a year, even worse. I don't know how I screwed up the maths so badly).

I wouldn’t like that he’s using all the collective Joker cards for you both - Ie you’re now stuck doing healthy stuff the rest of the time as this is the limit imo. I personally think McDonald’s / junk once a week is ok, more - no.

I suppose it's what a lot of men would do, those that have their children at the weekend,or other times. It is a bit lazy,but children seem to like McDonalds,and other fast food places. Maybe they are having much better meals when at home with you,so that's ok.

Why can't he just cook them food? Sausage, mash and peas/ tomato pasta/ homemade burgers - all super super easy

If he's on that much money, I dont envy his work-load and stress level, so to him eating out is the best option. Just because someone else is cooking it, doesn't make it unhealthy. Plenty of mums stick fishfingers chips and beans in front of their children. Pulses are good, Fishfingers are grilled, chips full of vitimin C. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

I think it doesn’t matter if they’re not overweight and they eat really healthily the rest of the time. Just let him and the kids do their thing

Once on the odd occasion. Not twice a week.My dh did this until i told him i wasnt happy.

No issue with him yaking them out for meals though but there ate better places than fast food.

I would be starting the “McDonalds is shit” message going because, come on, it’s not healthy and it’s not even that nice.

In our house McDonalds has always been a very cheap lunch when there are no alternatives, (when there are six of you it can get expensive). Never a treat.

I agree with this. We all have times where we don't have time or the energy (or both) to cook anything proper, but McDonalds (and indeed a lot of chain restaurants) is the equivalent of getting somebody to put an insipid ready meal in the microwave for you.

Only difference is a ready meal is cheaper, you don't have to leave the house (assuming you have a few in the freezer) and, whilst they rarely leave you thinking "That was delicious!", at least they don't give you the 'McDonalds hangover'.

He's clearly well-off and not mean with it, so if they don't 'do' cooking, why can't they take them somewhere else sometimes - a decent independent pub, cafe or sandwich bar?

It's a shame he leaves the life-lessons of preparing/helping to prepare/seeing somebody prepare food for you (if very young) to you, though; not to mention the enjoyment of eating and chatting together at home, without all the inevitable noise and distractions when you're out in public.

With his past knowledge of healthy eating, he must realise that he can only get away with doing this with the children, without their health seriously taking a dive, because you don't take the lazy way out when they're with you.

“I don't see a problem with that at all, unless their weight is more than it should be?“ weight is NOT the only reason to eat healthily, so sick of seeing comments like this. These are developing children, feeding them crap all weekend is doing their health no favours at all even if they’re slim. It’s not just the fat, it’s very high in salt and sod all fruit and veg (yes I know they have SOME on the menu but I really can’t see this twat encouraging those choices)

Children need nutrients not just calories.

Yanbu op at all!

On his money he doesn’t even need to cook to provide them decent nutritious meals. He’s not only being lazy and irresponsible he’s a tight bastard too!

The only plus is he may make the kids thoroughly sick of McDonald’s!

I think fizzygreenwaters suggestion of making him think he’s been seen by clients is good. Sounds like he’d be a shit personal trainer anyway if he’s so dire on nutrition.

I'd be pissed off with his lazy parenting. He could just do sandwiches etc for lunch on Saturday. I get eating out at the weekend but the constant eating out and crap food is laziness pure and simple.

YANBU.

I don't understand people who see junk food as a 'treat'. There's nothing remotely treat-like about it - it's literally disgusting, stinking overprocessed non-food.

Now, a beautifully made meal, made with attention to detail, is a whole other story... that's a Treat. McDonald's isn't it. Might as well take rubbish out of the bin and eat it, as far as I'm concerned.

I’m with you WhineUp.

What he feeds the kids when they are with him is none of your business tbh

I don't understand people who see junk food as a 'treat'.

because for the kids it is a treat? It's fun, and once in a blue moon it won't kill them. Now, a beautifully made meal, made with attention to detail, is a whole other story... that's a Treat. not for a 5 year old it isn't. Sitting down for a long meal is a pain in the ass at that age - which is why kids have always been allowed to leave the table and be called back for desert.

Every week is ridiculous though.

What he feeds the kids when they are with him is none of your business tbh
she is their mother, of course it's her business!

It's laziness. One burger chain/cheap pub meal over the weekend is fine but he should be cooking or at least going somewhere with proper veg

It's a treat for him cos he's a lazy fucker.

I only visit fast food places like that probably twice a year out of desperation! He could just get a carton of soup or a ready meal which would be slightly better, but that's obviously too much effort!

I was going to say yabu as it’s a treat for the person who normally cooks!

The I saw he’s doing it all the time instead of cooking decent meals (ever!) so went with yanbu. It’s not proper parenting if he never cooks for them at home. And i agree if it stops being a treat if it’s all the time.

If a mum cooked all week and gave her children the option of McDonalds on alternate weeks, I cannot see anyone complaining.
I see more mums and toddlers in McDonalds than anyone else, when ever I have had to rely on this fast-food chain.
Brewers Fayre will not thank anyone for comparing their cusine, with fast food. Its a family restaurant with many healthy options, including sunday roast.