McDonald’s isn’t a ‘treat’

[Busybeebeebee]

I’ll try and keep this simples.

Both my sons go to their dad alternate weekends Friday 4pm- Sunday 3pm.
On a Friday when he picks them up, they go to McDonald’s for tea.
Saturday they tend to go somewhere like Brewers Fayre which although is marginally better still processed chicken crap with fries and a token corn on the cob.
Sunday it’s back to McDonald’s for lunch.

He genuinely sees no issue with this.

AIBU?

YABU - yes, all kids like McDonald’s and twice in a weekend is fine.

YANBU - cooking something decent for growing kids twice a fortnight isn’t difficult!

Don’t get me wrong, in an emergency I would stop and grab them something in McDonald’s but I can’t get my head around it being something to get excited about. 4 shitty nuggets, tiny portion of fries and a milkshake. They don’t even like the toys.

I hold my hands up, I’m not a food nazi or anything like that, I just genuinely am astounded.

My son would probably think it was a treat.
That's because he has never been to a McDonalds (or any of those type of places)
Not because I'm too precious about his diet to take him, just because we can buy something so much nicer for the same money so I'm not judging people who do use them.

Going twice a week is not a treat - going once a month or so might be, as long as they actually enjoy the food they get there.

Suggest sushi instead?

It is crap food, but that's only 4 bad meals out of the whole month and if you feed healthy and fresh the rest of the month, then it won't damage them at all.

I'm careful with my language around fast food. It's convenient on a long journey or when we are really late back from somewhere. It's quick. A great implies some value other than that it's instant.

A treat is a day out of and unexpected gift. Not shit food

This is my next door neighbour.

He has his children every other weekend - Saturday lunch is McDonalds, Saturday eve is a take away and Sunday breakfast is McDonalds and then they go home.

It's pathetic but I don't think it's that unusual either.

Blimey. Could he not at least ring the changes and go to KFC once in a while?

It's not even about the treat, the nutritional value, whether it's crap or whether it tastes nice, but if it is genuinely as the OP describes, every other weekend, same routine, every single time it's just laziness.

I also don't see how a "10k a month" earning personal trainer would eat out with his wife most nights and eat at McDonalds every weekend with his kids and not want more control over his and their diets.

Totally lazy. And astonishingly, I've come across a lot of people who do this and wonder how the fuck they afford it!
We do McDonalds twice a year or so. My ex goes there most mornings for coffee / breakfast. And orders takeaway for dinner (or grabs a whole cooked chicken from the supermarket plus extras) Must cost a fortune and is knee deep in debt and constantly whingeing about being skint, despite being on a great wage.

It’s cheap crap food for an adult. But it is a fun, enjoyable experience for a child. Twice on a single weekend may be a bit much. However, I can see your Ex’s point - he only gets to see them every other weekend and probably doesn’t want to waste this precious time in the kitchen.

Lazy and poor parenting. There are plenty of quick and easy meals he could give them instead. It would probably take less time to prepare something like pesto pasta than driving to a McDs and back.

I know someone like this. She doesn't work and they each have 50/50 care of the child. She gets fast food/takeaway about 5 times a week. Only time she cooks is on a Sunday for a roast. Rest of the time, she takes her child to McDs, burger king, has Chinese takeaway. And so on. He's only 3. The amount of salt is scary for his age.

This thread has been interesting bc my ex has our dc 3yo twice a week and takes them out for every single meal, last week was 2mcdonalds, a takeaway and Frankie and bennies. Working with nursery over dc 'poo fright' and all these carbs are not helping

That amount of junk food is excessive for any child. Because I am quite careful about what my child has (edging towards overweight and huge appetite) I struggle with the one day a month her dad feeds her at his (too cheap to eat out) when he fails to serve any fruit or veg with lunch or dinner. I think that's absolutely horrendous as I try to give her five a day every day!

I used to avoid the whole ‘ we’re going to McDonalds for a treat ‘ thing when my children were small - used around me by affluent, non time pressured parents ( mostly mothers then) Not because my children were denied treats, or only fed on the very finest organic, artisan produced food but because I thought it was unappealing yucky food, cynically marketed at children with crap bits of plastic toys. I used to frame McDonalds as a desperate last measure of convenience ( once, on a long journey when we had car trouble ) or something to endure when it was served at venue based parties. Worked - my DDs can’t stand the stuff.

I have exactly the same issue with DC’s useless twat of a father. Combination of utterly shite parenting (the food isn’t the half of it) and wanting to be fun dad. Raged against it to start, now realise there’s fuck all I can do.

The thing is if he's always taking them then you never get a break! My friend's ex used to do this and he said it didn't matter as it was only once or twice a week - but it was always once or twice a week when he had the kids so she felt that she could never have an evening off cooking healthy meals.

leggylinda but its not 'wasting precious time' to chuck some wholewheat pasta in a pan and mix in some tomatoes / tuna / cheese. They could even help. Also as pp have said, its a really bad dynamic to have one parent just doing the fun treaty stuff like a grandparent or uncle might and one being the boring 'healthy' one all tje time. The OP probably feels she cant take them to McDs ever, no matter how knackered, busy or tempted she is becauae its her job ti do the proper parenting 26/30 days

Hardly worth worrying about.

he only gets to see them every other weekend and probably doesn’t want to waste this precious time in the kitchen.

I am sure he can use some of his child-free time to cook and freeze some deliciously healthy food for his kids
I am sure the OP manages and she is not as child-free!

It’s lazy parenting from him. Feeding his kids crap food over the weekend.
Does he do homework with them to at least ease the load for you during the week? It can’t all be Disney Disney, they’ll see through it as they grow older.

@Endspeciesism no they don't. Please don't spout shite that simply isn't true.

McDonald's is just food. It isn't anything worse than other chain restaurants or Iceland.

That’s appalling.
He can’t even cook/make a couple of healthy meals every two weeks for his own kids? He sounds lazy. I feel sorry for the kids. Does he even care?

A treat is a day out of and unexpected gift. Not shit food

That's a silly thing to say.

To people who enjoy the taste of shit food but eat it rarely, of course it's a treat.

Mc Donalds is a quick very cheap meal. it means he can spend more quality time with his sons, and as a poster said, so long as they eat healthy the rest of the time it is no big issue. It could be he can't or doesn't like to cook, and in some cases may not have access to a kitchen. There are plenty of problem fathers out there, if this is the only fault, your very lucky. If they go for a salad option with maybe fruit after, it would be even better.

I'm sure the boy's dad since he's giving them a real treat by taking them out to eat over a weekend. His wife goes too, I expect they have a laugh.

I've often seen weekend dads in cafes with their children and they all seem to enjoy it well enough.

However get your sons to choose something different from the menus.

He's feeding them, he's paying, and I assume they get fed well 5 other days. Pick your battles.