Just had an earful from the doctors surgery for missing appointment.

[ChocolateSiany]

I missed my son's jabs. I phoned them to change my phone number on my file so I don't miss any appointments. I forgot to change it on my son's file. So stupid. I am really forgetful so depend on their text reminders. I have started writing down all my appointments, but I didn't write this one down. I apologised profusely and have now changed my number and written down his new appointment. The woman on the phone pretty much laid in to me. Told me that missed appointments such as these are the reason the NHS is under such stress. I again apologised profusely and said it wasn't done intentionally, I understand my wrongdoing and that I am incredibly sorry. She continued. Told me that sorry won't get the appointment back and that I should maybe think about getting a diary if my memory isn't up to scratch. I am shocked she spoke to me like that, I feel incredibly guilty for missing the appointment (I don't miss appointments regularly). Feeling down and upset that I missed the appointment. AIBU to think that whilst I was in the wrong, she didn't have the right to be so rude to me?

Just not very good at being spoken to like a fool when I've made a genuine mistake

Neither are most of us. She was rude and it was unprofessional to speak to you like that.

I'd complain and also highlight the fact their admin system is shit. You made the effort to update your records, a decent system/administrator should have the capability (or intelligence) to update the whole family records at the same time.

She was maybe a bit too angry and defensive...

She is right though - and most people come up with some sort of excuse.
In the uk you don’t get a bill, in most other countries you would have gotten a £90 fine on top if the rant, so you are quite lucky

I think a fine would have been acceptable. Even if there was a fine applied, I still wouldn't have expected her to speak to me like an idiot. I am actually not blaming her for anything. I just explained why I missed the appointment and apologised profusely. I never blamed her. I acknowledged that I should have written it down. And I ensured I would do better. She still continued to be horrible to me. I understand it was my fault. Why lay in to someone who is taking full responsibility.

Why lay in to someone who is taking full responsibility.

You'd have to be a bit of a dick, or know full well that staff should have updated the dependents records at the same time. Either one doesn't put her in a good light.

I worked for the NHS. Three quarters of my patients ‘forgot’. How many do you think forget appointments you have to pay for?

@swirls111 would you lay in to a patient who had forgotten their first ever appointment in their life, who you have never met before, who you do not know, all whilst in a professional setting?

Our doctors' receptionists would never talk to people like that. The more I read here about the way people are treated by the NHS and its employees makes me think the higher cost of our health care is worth it.

The NHS was much better years ago. What the hell happened?

I'd have got quite shirty back. " It was for a genuine reason and not going to be repeated." Then I'd let it all go over me like water off a ducks back. You know it was a one off, genuine mistake. Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes.

I did this early this year. Made an appointment for a check up but first appointment was about 4 weeks later. In the mean time i got a new number and didn't update them. I missed the appointment by a week. I still haven't had that check up

I worked for the NHS. Three quarters of my patients ‘forgot’. How many do you think forget appointments you have to pay for

In a hospital or a GP? If the former, I bet a lot of those patients didn't actually receive the letter with the appointment date until afterwards. Or couldn't get through to anyone to cancel. People spend weeks trying to get through to their consultants' PAs.

I am honestly shocked that people think it's someone else responsibility to remind them of their own appointment

Businesses don't agree with you, otherwise they wouldn't do it, would they?

She evidently hasn't been on the 'Front of House Customer Care' course yet!

Honestly, it's no wonder some doctors' receptionists have an image problem. She shouldn't be trying to intimidate anyone,least of all someone apologising profusely. Another time you need to be a little more assertive and close down such gratuitous unpleasantness.

A descriptive complaint,in writing,to the practice manager would be the way I'd go. Our (very large,very busy) practice improved its dialogue with patients when a new practice manager came along and stated openly that he wanted all patients to feel listened to. I think there might also have been a few strategic reshuffles in the front line staffing department. Much better now.

I'm kinda with the receptionist 🙈. It sounds like she was overly abrupt but to be honest, people miss appointments too much and it is a complete waste! It's so hard to get an apt when you need one. The subject of 'missed NHS appointments' has been in the news so much in recent years, and how much it costs. You forgot and apologised. Ok, fair enough. But it's still a waste and could have been easily prevented. I can understand that it's v frustrating for GPS & surgery staff.

She was probably fed up with excuses. You should have just apologised rather than explain. You are in the wrong, not her. You didn't write the appointment down. Would you still blame her if their text system was broken?

Yes she sounds like she was possibly a bit short with you but you are the one at fault here.

Businesses don't agree with you, otherwise they wouldn't do it, would they?

they do, but people are so flakey they have to in order to avoid losing money!

At least a business can charge you for missed appointments.

Businesses don't agree with you, otherwise they wouldn't do it, would they?

I don't know many businesses that do. However it isn't their responsibility, its yours. You book an appointment, you should turn up. It's just a further example of people failing to take responsibility for their own lives.

I bet businesses do it to save cash, just like the NHS. They aren't doing it for altruistic reasons.

It was absolutely not ok for her to speak to you like that.

But it was reasonable of her to expect you to record the appointment, even if you would normally get a text reminder. How do you know not to arrange something else at the same time if you don’t write it down?

Best to learn from it and then forget about it and move on. This thread is probably not going to help that happen.

OP the last thing you need after the last three years you have had is a kicking on Mumsnet from a load of keyboard warriors. It was plain from your OP that you fully understand the importance of keeping appointments, you have an exemplary track record in this respect and a system that has worked. It is clear this person went over the top in her personal criticisms of you and your parenting as have a lot of people on this thread. Just have a bot of confidence, hold your head high, and fuck the lot of them.

If you haven't already, get Google calendar on your phone and use it for appointments etc and set reminders. Writing appointments down and not forgetting them is adulting. If you'd get a £200 fine if you missed an appointment, you would make sure you remembered it.

I'm sorry she was so tough on you and triggered your history. Missed appointments are a big problem. She's heard all the excuses in the book, that doesn't make up for the people who couldn't get appointments weep really needed them. I'd take a deep breath, let it go and make damn well sure you never miss another.

pog100
oh stop it, it's possible to have an opinion without being a keyboard warrior

hold your head high, and fuck the lot of them.
that's exactly what posters are objected about!

When you cannot get an important appointments for your own kids but other people waste theirs, it's very frustrating - and coming back with excuse and refusing to take responsibility even more. Shit happens, but refusing to write down because you rely only on reminders? Honestly?

I didn't refuse to write anything down. There's a difference between not doing something because a system worked for you 8 years prior without you missing so much as one appointment, and simply just refusing to write something down. It was a mistake. A genuine one. My colleagues make a lot of mistakes over the years that increase my work load. A couple of times they cost the department money. I don't lay in to them if it's a genuine mistake that's easily explainable. God no. I would be hated. It's sad that it appears to be normal to talk to someone like this

She was a cow and I’m not surprised you feel upset by the conversation. Find someone in real life who will be sympathetic, have a rant to him/her and get it out of your system (followed by a nice wine/coffee/chocolate/ whatever floats your boat).

However your OP said something about not getting the appointment back- this doesn’t mean that she refused to rebook you I hope? That would be absolutely wrong of her. Hopefully you have managed to rebook- don’t let this experience with the surgery stop your from making sure these jabs are done. They are SO important. All the best.

Just to echo that receptionist shouldnt have been rude but that equally missed appointments are a real problem for the nhs.

Last week for example out of an assessing team of 2 psychiatrists, 2 nurses, one therapist and one psychotherapy only one occupation therapists patient showed. all of our patients did not show meaning each of their hour slot was lost (we have to do lots of calling to them then gp and write all this up) and they were all booked into another slot basically doubling the workload time linked with them.

It should have been 6 hours of staff time, now it will be 12

Costs a huge ammount Not including the time spent sent texting, and sending letters before appointment

@Teateaandmoretea I meant other patients become very upset and frustrated as they can't book appointments for a time they feel is a fair wait, because due to so many DNA's we get back logged as each person who misses an appointment goes on to make another to replace the one they missed.
And like I said, I do not condone the way she was spoken too...but I can also see why sometimes as a receptionist who gets soooo much verbal from people over appointment waits, it really annoys you when people ring up to say they missed an appointment and then offer their explanation....the DNA of NHS appointments need to stop ASAP to help improve a very strained service that we are very lucky in this country to have...you only have to read how much it costs each year in missed appointments, and what that money could pay for!
I think OP will lead a valuable lesson here which is don't reply on a text to remind you of such an important appointment...and if receptionist was in fact as rude as suggested, complain to the practice manager and not a MN forum

Of course not. I was usually delighted when someone made an effort to call or apologise. It’s frustrating though - I got used to being told off by angry parents for them missing their appointments- and having to wait for another. This usually just meant me squeezing one in in my own time.