AIBU to want to not meet him due to my weight?

[misunderstoodjustice]

Hey lovelies,

So I'm a lurker, first time posting as I feel like I'm in a bit of a mental pickle.

Basically, I met this wonderful guy, there's a long distance issue but we text daily and FaceTime when life doesn't get in the way. I was meant to be in Manchester for work but the conference was cancelled and we decided I should still come through and he'd drive up and we would meet for the first time. It's almost halfway for both of us.

Now, I'm panicking. It's next Friday, the 22nd. I have recently lost 50lbs and still see myself as the size 22 unlovable woman. I mean I'm a size 16, still have a mum tum and although I do generally feel better about my self image- this has my head spinning as I really like him.

We enjoy the same things and get on well. I've sent photos of myself, but they are all those kinda I'm posed and good angles and brilliant light type... I'm worried what he will think of me when he sees me properly.

There's an age gap and I understand that I'm just being incredibly insecure - just need opinions- should I go? Should I cancel? How can I fake the confidence of one of those effortless women?! 😂

Aw thanks guys, I'm feeling a little better about things hearing all you're great stories.

I'm still figuring out how to act confident, I'm hoping that when I get there and we are talking I'll just slip into a comfortable stage and everything will be fine.

Only 4 days! What should think I do with my hair?

Me and my male partner just checked you out and you look good! Go on your date and enjoy it!

OP, if you're on Facebook, search Judi Love 'theres someone for everyone', she will give you a hilarious but truthful pep talk.

Hair - go for some Hollywood style bouncy curls

OP!!!! You truly look beautiful in that dress!
I’m tall and a size 8 and I would kill to have a figure like yours! The grass really is always greener on the other side! Hope it all goes well there’s absolutely no reason for you to worry!

Oof, you look hot in that dress! You have a great figure, please stop feeling that you're not attractive! Hair up with some loose pieces can look nice? Casually sexy?

@misunderstoodjustice

Don't be silly. I bet you look gorgeous. I am size 8 and I have a lot of size 16 friends and they all look stunning. With a bit of makeup and the right underwear (e.g. good bra) and posture you will most certainly make this guy fall for you head over heels. Believe in yourself. He's seen you on photos and facetime so he knows how you look like. Get out there and enjoy yourself.

X

@misunderstoodjustice

Just seen your link to these photos. You look amazing. Absolutely lovely! Please don't be so harsh on yourself there's no reason for it.

Hey, sorry for the scattered replies, between the kids, work and so forth I've had to put my phone away.

Thanks for the help. I think I might go for a half up, half down curly hair look as I have naturally curly hair and I hate it being in my face too much.

Am with my DW as I type so nothing off about this post, but had to say, my word OP, you look stunning in those pics!

Completely agree with previous posters that the whole "woman is the candidate, man is the prize" thing is just so off. He is bloody lucky to be sitting across a table from someone as yourself. Have an amazing time !

So I'm so nervous right now, just dying my hair as my lonely grey streak was showing (thanks genetics) and was wondering if anyone had any tips on date prep. I think if I know I'm groomed and feeling good then the confidence should show through... give me your go to at home treatments 😊

Do it!

What a happy thread!!!

Date prep? Other than the haïr, the dress, the shoes etc?

Drink lots of water from now till the date
Loads of veg
Bit of fake tan
Plenty of fresh air

You look great in both outfits . Have a fab date x

Ooo great idea about the rose hip oil. My friend swears by it and I'd forgotten. I'll stick to the water and veg but I'm dreadful at fake tan... I'd come out like patchwork so I think I'll stay my pasty self 😂

Excited to see how this goes, your figure is 👌. I've no advice as such but hoping it goes well.. Remember he will be as nervous as you. Do you have any empowering music that makes you feel great to listen to on your way????

Sorry, not got time to read all comments but you need to know you look great in your photos.

Well I have a good ol playlist I can be listening to on my journey over (my car is buggered so I'll be taking the train) but I reckon I'll be listening to his podcast 😂 he will be releasing that day and it yeah... might help if the conversation goes a little dry if I listen.

I reckon I'll be popping on here from the toilet to let you know how it goes 😂

It’s totally normal to want to cancel in the run up to a date. I am slim and happy with the way I look but I still always have a wobble beforehand. So I think you should power on through and go! Good luck!

You look gorgeous in that dress! When ever I go on a date I make lists of things to talk about just in case the conversation goes dry!

For when I’m meeting up...

Shave everywhere -although I’m not saying it’s that kind of date! I just like to be prepared.
Wash and style hair
When I dry off I also put a body lotion on that smells nice and makes my skin soft.
Make up & for a day meet us wear some natural lashes to make mine thicker.
I always have a glass of wine before I go to🤣

And just be yourself!

You look great and you have done so well on your weight loss.

As for prep for a special date, what I find has immediate impact on my skin is exfoliating with Glycolic Acid pads. I used to buy a tub of Nip + Fab pads but now I buy the Aldi version when I am in Aldi

-can I just ask this poster though what the aldi version is called ? I wouldn’t mind getting some

How’s it going OP?

Bricking it, we finalised all the details earlier, he's on nights tonight and has a pretty busy one to keep him occupied.

I think I'm just going to jump in the shower now and try and watch something to keep me busy. We've been pretty quiet talking this week which makes me a little more nervous. He has messaged me making sure we were still on and saying he's looking forward to it... don't think he's nervous at all, unless he can hide it well 😂