I’m a mum of four and I haven’t worked in 16 years. The youngest has just started senior school and this is indeed a revelation as finally no more school runs after 12 years! I did have over a decade with at least one child with me at ALL times, so I feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever about having me time and headspace these days. I’m never bored because I truly value my time. I have many friends in similar positions and we’re in London so I’ve never felt isolated. I have a cleaner twice a week for about 5 hours a time, but I do things she doesn’t do like change the beds and the laundry. I don’t do much ironing now as I send DH’s shirts out. School uniforms are fine out of the drier usually. I do cook dinner if DH is coming home and I do try and make an effort. If he’s not home, we might well order Deliveroo because I get fed up of the kids fussiness and them all wanting different things. There are weeks when DH is overseas with work. Other days he doesn’t work at all as he’s stepping back from his company (or trying to). He has various hobbies that take him away too, probably several times a month, but I’m fine about this because he deserves it and I get my time in my way. In 45 now and probably going to do another MA next year with a view to working for myself part-time with that qualification (I have ten years experience in this field pre- DC), but I’m just weighing up if it will all be too much as one DC will be doing GCSE that year and another A-levels. But then maybe there’s always going to be something, so I should just do it? Anyway, I’ve no regrets really, but I think if I lived in an isolated place I couldn’t have coped. DH is not weird about money and everything is just there as family money for all, but if he was one of these that gave me fixed amounts I couldn’t have been doing with that. I’ve done some property renovations over the years which were profitable, yet stressful. His businesses and career have done extremely well. I don’t claim credit for his success - he is extremely focused to the point of workaholic- but he couldn’t have done all that and had 4 DC to boot. He’s not been held back at all. I’d say he’s Exhibit A of the “facilitated man” that someone mentioned earlier. But to be honest, we’ve all done well out if it. I can now see that it paid off in the end because were financially more prosperous as a result of this role division and it’s all in the interests of paying for the schools and the kids’ futures ultimately. That’s what it’s all been about. I never really thought about me and DH just did what he felt he needed to do. We never really discussed it tbh, which seems strange now when I think of it. Life just kind of happened, I suppose. He is trying to simplify his business interests now and take more backseat roles because he’s almost 50. Anyway, what I would say is that being a SAHM is not for everyone, but also it can be absolutely fine for all concerned, as long as you respect each other.