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Original poster

Ex taking child on holiday

345 replies

Aimee75 · 13/11/2019 09:33

My ex husband has custody (residency order) of our 9 year old son which was ordered by the court after a lengthy court battle. I have recently found out that my ex & his wife are taking my son and their children out of school for 2 weeks to go to Disneyland. I have spoken to my ex to express my disapproval about taking him out of school however his response is that as he is resident parent he legally has the right to take our son abroad for up to 4 weeks without my written permission. I have checked the order that was issued by the court and to be fair it does state that but I do have a big problem with him taking him during term time so my question is should I apply for a pso to try to prevent my son being taken on holiday during term time? Any advice please

OP posts:
user1471449295 · 13/11/2019 14:19

No OP, you shouldn’t apply for a PSO. Christ on a bike. Leave your son to enjoy a lovely holiday with his family. He’s 9 - hardly a pinnacle point in his academic learning. You sound bitter

MonsieurChaCha · 13/11/2019 14:32

habipprtyh
I mean that the op would be spending money at court when I believe that the chances of getting a PSO are minimal. She would be much better off saving that money and putting it towards a holiday of her own with her son

rosieposies · 13/11/2019 14:39

Jesus people on this thread are being nasty.

I'm sure that the op was devastated that her ex is RP, so I don't think there's any need to bash her anymore.

For what it's worth op, I don't think any harm will come to your sons education, and I'm sure it will be an amazing experience for him. It must be hard to trust that your ex will make good choices for your son.

Do you get to spend more time with him in the holidays?

IDontEvenHaveAPla · 13/11/2019 14:45

@rosieposies Why would it be hard to trust the father to make choices for his son? He seems to be a decent person by OP's own admission and his wife and he are doing well by his son. He's clearly good enough considering what the court's have issued and the minimal contact they have issued with the OP.

--

OP, the more you type it looks like you only want to deal with people who will encourage you to go ahead and take action. Therefore, it does look like this is just bitterness and jealousy.

Drop this for the sake of your son. No, do not get a PSO, there is no need, this is a one off and you yourself have stated the ex does not do this every year when they go on holiday anyway.

It's time to reflect on why you truly feel this way and address those issues. Any school work can be caught up on quite easily at this age so that argument is more or less pointless now.

Allow your child to enjoy this experience, do not make it difficult for him and deny him it. PUT HIM FIRST.

Selmababies · 13/11/2019 14:49

The OP said pages ago that she wouldn't make any application to the court, that she treat this holiday in termtime as a one off, and only take up the issue again if it happens again in the future.
So, it would be really good if people could stop being so sanctimonious and agressive now towards the OP.
Even better, show a little compassion to someone who whose son chose to live with the other parent.
This place really can be a nest of vipers sometimes.
If I was the OP, I'd request that this thread is pulled as soon as possible.

prh47bridge · 13/11/2019 14:49

most judges won’t intervene in a parent taking their child on holiday

A holiday in term time is different. A judge may well be willing to intervene. After all, the OP's ex will be committing an offence under section 444 of the Education Act 1996, which is why the LA can fine him and, potentially, the OP as well.

Selmababies · 13/11/2019 14:51

And, it would be really helpful if people read the full thread. And comprehended it, before commenting.

spanglydangly · 13/11/2019 14:57

@Selmababies but the latest post from OP says again "should I apply for a pso?'

So it looks like it's still a consideration?

spanglydangly · 13/11/2019 14:57

And, it would be really helpful if people read the full thread. And comprehended it, before commenting.

Yes reading all the updates would be useful.

spanglydangly · 13/11/2019 15:00

@rosieposies why would it be hard to trust her ex to make good choices? He's the child father and RP why would he be untrustworthy?

Doyoumind · 13/11/2019 15:02

spangly that was due to the arrival of a solicitor on the thread who was advising on the legalities etc. You really should RTFT.

Skysblue · 13/11/2019 15:04

It’s actually illegal to take your child out of school for a term time holiday.

BOTH parents can be fined. Not sure what happens where parents are split up.

I would definitely put it in writing to the school and local council (LEA? Whoever does fines) that the absence will be without your consent and you have tried to prevent it.

spanglydangly · 13/11/2019 15:05

@Doyoumind I have and clearly OP is saying again should I do it? I don't understand why you think I haven't read it?

A solicitor has arrived .... doesn't change the fact that OP is again thinking should I get a PSO.

From a legal perspective maybe she should, but others are coming from a moral perspective.

hope that helps to clarify that I've read the full thread?

Doyoumind · 13/11/2019 15:07

She was responding directly to prh47's post, spangly.

Purpleartichoke · 13/11/2019 15:07

For whatever reason, the court granted your ex the right to make decisions like this trip without your input. To get that changed, you would likely need to show that something in the life of you, your ex, or your son had changed to justify a revision. Going to court without cause could bias the court against you in the future. You could seek legal advice about how your local court is likely to see your objection, but honestly, I would let this one go.

spanglydangly · 13/11/2019 15:11

@Doyoumind sorry I presumed that she wasn't having a private conversation because she was on a public forum and again asking should I get a PSO?

I thought she was being swayed by what one poster had put and again questioning the rights or wrongs of a PSO. How very presumptive of me.

She didn't @ either?

Footiefan2019 · 13/11/2019 15:13

If I was your son and I knew you stopped me from having this holiday, at 9 years old I think I’d find it very very hard to forgive you or want much to do with you. And that’s coming from someone who was raised by divorced parents

Footiefan2019 · 13/11/2019 15:15

OP what access do you have to your son in the school holidays ?
Also, do you take him on holiday with the children you’ve had with your new partner ?

Skysblue · 13/11/2019 15:18

@prh47bridge just to come back on what you said about the “clear link between absence and performance” I assume you’re referring to the study that the Department of Education is always referring to that is claimed to show that every day of unauthorised absence causes increasingly negative educational outcomes. If you actually read the whole study, it showed that unauthorised absence for no good reason (ie random bunking off) did correlate to worse academic outcomes, but the same study showed that children who took planned holidays in termtime actually had BETTER educational outcomes. The Department for Education doesn’t like to talk about that. This was discussed in the Jon Platt litigation.

happycamper11 · 13/11/2019 15:23

You could apply but I doubt they'd grant it. I take my dc out of school every year for a family holiday and the school are fine with it. If my exp complained I doubt the court would care.

Blistory · 13/11/2019 15:30

Nice to know that having the money to afford a barrister apparently makes a man a wonderful and caring parent. It also appears to buy him out of the convention that children attend school during term time. He's not a fucking hero just because he has money. And his money would have influenced the Court a damn sight more than the opinion of the then 7 year old son.

Also helpful to note that any woman who hasn't got the financial means to contest residency in Court has to martyr herself to any children and the ex for years ever after.

OP, I'm sorry that you've had such judgement and condemnation on here.

FabbyChix · 13/11/2019 15:31

Why would you stop him going to Disney how mean they clearly thought he was the better parent

shearwater · 13/11/2019 15:46

^Also helpful to note that any woman who hasn't got the financial means to contest residency in Court has to martyr herself to any children and the ex for years ever after.

OP, I'm sorry that you've had such judgement and condemnation on here^

Quite. I wouldn't stop DS going on this holiday though, but I'd make sure ex was fined by the local authority for taking him out of school in term time, and I'd only let him go on the basis that ex makes sure he doesn't get behind with school work.

Footiefan2019 · 13/11/2019 15:47

Is everyone missing the part where THE CHILD wants to live with his dad ? What happened to the kids getting a say?

spanglydangly · 13/11/2019 15:49

@Blistory the child didn't want to live with his DM and partner.