So MIL (to be) is annoying me constantly with what she says.
She favours SIL quite obviously and I do think DP (the child who kept the marriage together after FIL had a one-off affair) does get treated less favourably.
PIL are well off and always have been, they're in their sixties, FIL pension is 4k a month that he doesn't yet take because of compound interest. They work in a company that gives them free living and all expenses and a small salary that's around £25k joint that is extremely flexible and requires no out of the ordinary work, just keeps them busy. This means they rent out their owned house in another part of the country.
Money shouldn't even matter here but it's causing an issue. SIL got married two years ago and PIL paid a sustantial amount towards it, MIL always said 'we'd do the same for you' - well now we are getting married and talking about the costs/any contribution is hard and not resulting in any actual money.
SIL has just had a baby, MIL bought all her maternity clothes, bought loads for their new house, just £100 here and £100 there, but of course 'i'll do the same for you'. But it doesn't really feel like that will happen anymore.
We are about to buy a 'forever home' that PIL are very encouraging of as we need to get out of our current living arrangement. SIL/BIL were given their house deposit by his side and MIL was ready to help them out with £8k at one point that they ended up not needing (borrowed it from his side). Because of SDLT we will be about 10k short (stupid, our fault, I know).
DP mentioned that he may need to take a loan and pay her back within a month of completion (I then get my bonus and would use it to pay her back). She deflected and essentially seemed to say no. She also always pushes back and asks why we aren't asking my parents.
My parents live in poverty, I was pupil premium, they are disabled and haven't worked since I was 11 and I was a 'young carer'. They don't have a pension and I am not sure if they have enough NIC to qualify for the state pension. I will probably look after them. His mum refuses to believe this as we appear well off (I speak well...).
I'm just getting angry at it and the snide comments she makes about my parents "they're not really that disabled though are they" "they have loads of money why don't they want to help" etc. when DP was raised so privileged. He always sticks up for me.
In this situation what would you do? How would you approach things?