WIBU to get a cat even though DH doesn't like them?

[christmastreewithhairyfairy]

DH and I have been married 15 years. Growingup, I always had cats and other animals in the house, DH never did - his family just don't see the point of them.

When we met I accepted that I'd have to give up the idea of ever having pets but recently and increasingly I've realised how much I feel like I'm missing out. I'm quite low at the moment, on my own in the house a lot, and having a cat around would really help. We have 2 school age DDs who adore animals and would really love to have a pet (every year, a cat is top of the Christmas list), so DH is the only dissenter.

His arguments are the expense, the smell (I don't think cats smell personally - but do accept that could be because I grew up with them so am immune to it) and the general hassle of feeding, vets, catteries.

I feel like it doesn't have to impact his life too much - I will do the feeding, litter tray, vets trips etc. Though I get there will be an occasional time I am out and he will have to let it in, or deal with a bird or mouse in the house.

Of course if he puts his foot down and says no full stop, I am not exactly going to just turn up with one. But he is on the verge of being persuaded by the rest of us. AIBU even considering it, if he says yes but clearly is still not too keen?

I've always grown up with loads of pets but my husband hasn't .
He would say he HATED cats but our little dog died and DS1 ( who has disabilities was bereft and depressed) so he agreed if we found the right cat.
Since my eldest son was 2 years old he asked for a cat.
So it was no whim, she's 3 now and DS1 is almost 13.
After lots of research I found that Siamese cats form strong bonds with one person and we rescued a tabby point Siamese kitten from a Siamese rescue, purposely strongly encouraging that bond with treats and toys.
She adores him.
Waits for him to come home from school, cries at the window when he goes out and she's taught him a lot about responsibility.
He does her food and water and is her main caregiver.
Our cat DOES not stink at all! She has a cat flap and goes out to do her business but is not a wanderer.
She loves her home and a warm lap.
Once DS1 is asleep at night she comes downstairs and lays across DH and I .
He loves her now and taught her to play fetch , so she likes DH a lot.
When her human child isn't at home we all get equal love .
I'd say she owns us all but that's the breed.
She's gentle, never aggressive, eats a good quality organic dry cat food , has her teeth brushed daily and loves it.
Is insured , so no horrible surprise vets bills and our vets do a lifetime vaccine plan for £150.
I can only say that having a cat has enhanced our family life as a whole.
She's calming, adorable and you never feel lonely.

I'd also like to add that in 3 years our cat has never killed a living thing , apart from the odd fly or moth.
She doesn't puke or get hair everywhere.
Every day I use a special grooming cloth and once a week petal cleanse and we do not have a house full of hair or cat vomit.
I think very good quality dry food is the key to avoiding tooth issues ( smelly breathe) and digestive issues.

You can't get pets unless all adults in the house are on board. We have a dog and two cats and while I'd happily have more, DH has set his limits at three so that's what we've got for now.

Cats aren't especially difficult pets but you still have vet bills, insurance, flea/worming meds, food and litter trays to think about. Plus they do scratch your furniture and your carpet!

YABU. And cats stink.

If your cat stinks then you’re not looking after it properly.

I have a long haired cat and my mum and brother (who are very blunt!) say they can’t smell it at all in the house. The cat’s fur smells lovely and clean too.

For what it’s worth OP, I persuaded my DH to get a cat and now he’s obsessed with it - I honestly think he loves it more than I do! But everyone is different.

But at least you’re not currently being kept awake by a healthy, well fed cat screaming and body slamming the windows 24 hours a day, wanting in, wanting out, screaming, puking, not wanting that particular sachet of food, and repeat, every day, for 2 decades.

A screaming, body-slamming cat Some of the replies on this thread are just bizarre!

I would leave him and get three cats 🤷‍♀️

Surely there would be elements he would be inconvienced by?

Eg paying for cat care whilst your on holiday, or being unable to stay the night at places due to needing to be home for the cats?

We foster various animals and find for us cats can be the trickiest as they arent very portable. We can take our dog on holiday or out for the day with us, smaller animals can be left for the night.

Yabu
I dislike cats and could never ever live in a house with one.
I won't rant about how much I dislike them or why but if a partner brought one into the house I'd make sure it didn't stay. I'd never hurt any animal but, in this situation, it would be me or the cat

They stink the house out if you decide to have a litter tray, we didn't personally as why can't they be trained to go outside like dogs do, it was easy to train this.
Also they wreck your house with the scratching they do.
I'd never have another.

Also they wreck your house with the scratching they do.

I can honestly say that my cat has never wrecked anything through scratching - he uses his scratching post and pad. Maybe I’m just lucky! We don’t have carpets but he never touches the sofa, rugs or curtains.

*Cats only stink if you don’t clean their litter tray properly , use one with a lid which keeps in any smells and stops them kicking litter all over the place .
*Ours are friendly and mostly just sleep or follow me around the house .
*Never had an issue with our Christmas tree ,not even when they were kittens . They like sitting under it but that’s it .
*Microchip cat flaps are great so you don’t have any unwanted feline visitors .

• We have had a few rodents and birds brought in ,mostly in the summer but only one has been alive and bells do not help!

Should also add ,they’ve never damaged furniture or carpet .
We taught them to use a scratching post straight away , the only thing they do use other than that is the door mat but that’s fine anyway as they can’t ruin in

Oh and if he doesnt like cats then it going to create a lot of tension in the house when cat inevitable does something wrong eg claws the wallpaper/sick on carpet. You dont want someone already irritated by the cats mere presence to be dealing with that and you'll definately get the blame.

Usually kittens have to use a litter tray which can vary from a bit smelly at times (with the right upkeep) to constantly smelly. Ive never had a kitten who doesnt claw things eg. Furniture, carpets, wallpaper or equally jump all over work surfaces and dining room tables. Kittens also get those crazy times where they grab feet as they are walking by, pounce on you and have a frantic 15 min climbing everything.

As they grow you can dissuade them from it but its a part of them learning and is usually abhorent behaviour for non cat lovers! I would recommed older cats who are less likely to have those irritating bits

YABU. Your relationship should be more important than a pet. I would consider our relationship over if my husband bought a pet knowing I didnt want one and am fairly opposed to the pettification of animals

YABU. Your relationship should be more important than a pet. I would consider our relationship over if my husband bought a pet knowing I didnt want one and am fairly opposed to the pettification of animals

Said this to DH who is the much loved owner of our cat, who he is allergic to and didn’t want. He just said, ‘but the cat is more important *. . The cat loves him and he loves the cat....now.

If he really doesn't want one, please don't force him!

My OH loves cats and his came with us when we moved in but was old and didn't stay long. Years later we adopted a cat as the children kept asking - it was very un cat like and about the closest I got to not minding one though that's as far as it went. He sadly died so OH then adopted two cats. They've been here just over a year. Although I like that the children get lots of pleasure from them I am never going to like having them. I hate the cats bringing in mice and birds and I find the hair everywhere a pain. Ours don't need a litter tray thankfully and are on dry food so it's not smelly but I'm never going to like having them here.

Sorry to the cat lovers but not everyone loves cats!

But at least you’re not currently being kept awake by a healthy, well fed cat screaming and body slamming the windows 24 hours a day, wanting in, wanting out, screaming, puking, not wanting that particular sachet of food, and repeat, every day, for 2 decades.

Surely you realise most people's experience of cat ownership is nothing like this?

Mine sleep for probably 22 hours a day at age 3 and 4. They have the odd mad dash and might pester you for your chicken or tuna but otherwise they're either on a lap, on the windowsill or by the fire!

Give the cat a week and he'll love it .

YANBU get a cat!!!!!

OP non cat lovers will always say YABU. But do you want to take advice from people who don't love or like cats? Those people are strange

If I were the one person who didn't want a cat and rest of the family wanted one - particularly noting my partner feeling low & it may well help mindset - I'd agree to get a cat. I'm ambivalent about animals but friends have pets and their houses don't smell. I assume because they keep their homes and pets clean.

And what cats have you guys been around?! Cats don't smell at all!! Only if they shit in the litter tray but other than that they are very clean animals...

Yanbu. Cats are the best.

My neighbour 'hated' cats.

Then we found him playing with my cat on multiple occasions.

Now they have two cats of their own and he named one and it goes everywhere with him.

If your husband is adamant, then no.
But if he's ambivalent then why not?

Cats stink big time. Yabu. Don’t force him to have one!