WIBU to get a cat even though DH doesn't like them?

[christmastreewithhairyfairy]

DH and I have been married 15 years. Growingup, I always had cats and other animals in the house, DH never did - his family just don't see the point of them.

When we met I accepted that I'd have to give up the idea of ever having pets but recently and increasingly I've realised how much I feel like I'm missing out. I'm quite low at the moment, on my own in the house a lot, and having a cat around would really help. We have 2 school age DDs who adore animals and would really love to have a pet (every year, a cat is top of the Christmas list), so DH is the only dissenter.

His arguments are the expense, the smell (I don't think cats smell personally - but do accept that could be because I grew up with them so am immune to it) and the general hassle of feeding, vets, catteries.

I feel like it doesn't have to impact his life too much - I will do the feeding, litter tray, vets trips etc. Though I get there will be an occasional time I am out and he will have to let it in, or deal with a bird or mouse in the house.

Of course if he puts his foot down and says no full stop, I am not exactly going to just turn up with one. But he is on the verge of being persuaded by the rest of us. AIBU even considering it, if he says yes but clearly is still not too keen?

OpportunityKnocks My friend who has 3 cats did warn me before l looked after the little one. l had her confined to the living room as l've got house rabbits. When she first went in the litter tray, it was for a wee, and l was sitting there thinking "aah, she knows what to do". Later on when she went in...… my god. My eyes were watering!

YABU. The person who doesn't want a pet's wishes trump the one who does, imho, especially as he made it clear right from the start.

I say this as a cat lover who has two indoor cats now. The litter tray does smell, I'm afraid. But when I used to have a catflap and cats that always went to the toilet outside, that wasn't a problem.

I have always been wary/ frankly scared of cats and my DH didn't like them. Under great pressure from our kids we bought two kittens from her friend. Almost straightaway we just loved them. And have done ever since. They don't smell, are affectionate in their own way and neither of us would be without them now. Yes they bring in disgusting things which can be distressing, and holidays etc are more complicated but we wouldn't go back.

Cats do NOT smell. Only if they're entire and spraying and even then it's the spray itself not the cats. It is such a strange thing that those ppl who do not like cats think they smell. I think dogs smell. However I love both dogs and cats and would say maybe not a good idea to get one if it's not wanted

There’s no such thing as a “dog parent”. They are dog owners. They own the dog, they are not its parent.

Yes I know that. I think most people would understand what I meant.

I was in the same situation. So I rehomed (then ex) 'd'h with his mother and got 3 cat's. I don't regret it.

It is such a strange thing that those ppl who do not like cats think they smell.
It is such a strange thing that those people who love cats are oblivious to the fact that they do smell.

It is such a strange thing that those ppl who do not like cats think they smell.

I have cats. I like cats. I think they smell.

It is such a strange thing that those ppl who do not like cats think they smell.

I love cats, I have several, but they can smell really bad! Depends on many factors.

Cats do NOT smell.

Yes they do. They smell of cat.

Do it, I did and I catch my partner having crafty cat cuddles every now and then

Do it, I did and I catch my partner having crafty cat cuddles every now and then
My DH caught me blasting the damn thing with a super soaker the other day, it can go both ways.

Go for it, I can't see why it would be an issue as long as you're happy doing everything for them. My DP actually does like cats, but wasn't keen on having any pets because he didn't wanna put the work in for them. We got two anyway and he's not bothered as long as I do/pay everything for them. If he's concerned with dirt or smell just get a shorthair, it'll have no trouble keeping itself clean.

I didn't like cats at all, still don't but I have one and I love him, DP loves them. Basically had a bit of a mental illness moment of insanity, DP's birthday was coming up so I spontaneously got a kitten for him (don't flame me, it wasn't responsible but I wasn't 100% with it), it was honestly the best decision I ever made. I went from hating cats to absolutely adoring our little fluffy muffin, it was impossible not to.

Saying that I don't think it's a good way to get a pet and just hope that he likes it, it'll end with the poor thing going to a shelter.

OR

Trade in the weirdo who doesn't like animals and get yourself a gorgeous pussycat.

most reptiles carry salmonella.

My DH caught me blasting the damn thing with a super soaker the other day

Fucking hell.

DH didn't want a cat either. We now have 3. I just brought them home and told him to stop being a miserable bastard. Cats basically look after themselves and the only time i see any of mine is in the morning for food and once DC are in bed. Dh has come back home multiple times with a box of treats because 'they were on offer' and I have seen him stroke them too although he would never admit it.

It's not fair on the cat, they know when someone doesnt like them and they deserve love.

I wouldn’t out of concern for the cat. I’d be worried that if he ever had to look after it he wouldn’t bother and the poor thing would suffer.

Cats don't reek. Only cat haters say this, probably cat haters that stink to high heaven with gallons of perfume, fabric conditioner and all sorts and have houses full of air fresheners.

Litter trays can pong a bit but once emptied and washed when needed all you smell is woodchip or similar.

However, if he doesn't want a cat but is willing to try it, could you foster on the basis that you could return kitty if necessary?

I live with someone that comes from a family of non-pet people, we have had 4 cats so far and another pet, plus neighbours pets for holidays. Cats have been accepted and looked after (and loved) by that someone. However, I have done the caring, cleaning, etc. from choice.

My DH caught me blasting the damn thing with a super soaker the other day

If this is true then you’re a fucking disgrace.

*Cats do NOT smell.

Yes they do. They smell of cat.*

There is nothing like the faint smell of soft fur and the pleasure of inhaling a cat, all warm and tickly.

There are some evil bastards out there that will harm them though, just because they can.

We got a cat even though DH doesn't like them - because me and the DC do, and he was outvoted. He and the cat have learned to tolerate each other.

My DH caught me blasting the damn thing with a super soaker the other day

If this is true then you’re a fucking disgrace. why? Advice is frequently given on here to people whose neighbours are complaining about the cats or who are complaining about the neighbours’ cats to give them a soaking if they come into the garden.

It’s water. It’s not harmful, and assuming they don’t like it, then they’ll learn quickly that whatever it is they’re doing at the time will mean they get wet.

If it’s solid missile people are throwing at the cat then absolutely it’s disgraceful behaviour, but water? Nope. And I’m a cat lover.

most reptiles carry salmonella

Which is why we wash our hands after handling them 🤷‍♀️