WIBU to get a cat even though DH doesn't like them?

[christmastreewithhairyfairy]

DH and I have been married 15 years. Growingup, I always had cats and other animals in the house, DH never did - his family just don't see the point of them.

When we met I accepted that I'd have to give up the idea of ever having pets but recently and increasingly I've realised how much I feel like I'm missing out. I'm quite low at the moment, on my own in the house a lot, and having a cat around would really help. We have 2 school age DDs who adore animals and would really love to have a pet (every year, a cat is top of the Christmas list), so DH is the only dissenter.

His arguments are the expense, the smell (I don't think cats smell personally - but do accept that could be because I grew up with them so am immune to it) and the general hassle of feeding, vets, catteries.

I feel like it doesn't have to impact his life too much - I will do the feeding, litter tray, vets trips etc. Though I get there will be an occasional time I am out and he will have to let it in, or deal with a bird or mouse in the house.

Of course if he puts his foot down and says no full stop, I am not exactly going to just turn up with one. But he is on the verge of being persuaded by the rest of us. AIBU even considering it, if he says yes but clearly is still not too keen?

Cats don't reek. Only cat haters say this, probably cat haters that stink to high heaven with gallons of perfume, fabric conditioner and all sorts and have houses full of air fresheners.

DontCallMeShitley Cats stink. If you have a cat and think otherwise it’s because you’re noseblind to it. And no, I am not a cat hater. It’s the same for all pets.

I’m just sniffing my cat who is sat next to me. She has a lovely smell of warm fur, not wee or poo. Just delicious furryness.

It’s water. It’s not harmful, and assuming they don’t like it, then they’ll learn quickly that whatever it is they’re doing at the time will mean they get wet.

Being soaked to the skin, outside, in cold temperatures could make anyone (cat or otherwise) very ill. It's a nasty thing to do.

Cat litter trays only smell if they are not cleaned out

Cats don't smell unless they have medical problems. We don't have cats, and I don't notice any smell when I visit friends with cats.

I would never have an animal that shits in a box, in the house.

I have dog's - yes more work but they are awesome.

I voted no. would not see any harm come to them but I hate cats.

I did it.. but knew my husband would fall in love with him and he has 3 years later he loves him like I do
Only you know your husband and if he is likely to warm to a cat x

I’m just sniffing my cat who is sat next to me. She has a lovely smell of warm fur, not wee or poo. Just delicious furryness.

Ilovetolurk Nobody said they smelt of wee or poo. They do have a very strong, pervasive, overwhelming smell that’s not pleasant though.

Cats are not my cup of tea, not a chance I would let my husband bring one home.

There are some evil bastards out there that will harm them though, just because they can.

How on Earth have you leapt from me saying cats do smell to that??

I didn't realise the whole do they/don't they smell was such a divisive issue!!

@christmastreewithhairyfairy they only smell if you have w dirty house to begin with I think

My house smells lovely and fresh and my cat smells lovely you would not walk into my Home and know I had a pet

My cat’s breath smells, but the rest of her doesn’t!

they only smell if you have w dirty house to begin with I think

🙄

I persuaded my DH to get a dog! He never had animals. Said he doesnt like them and doesnt see the point. We now have 2 dogs, a cat andsome reptiles
Guess who cuddles most with the dogs when we watch tv? And who shares his pillow with the cat almost every night! Yess! Its DH!
I do most of the work. He would feed them occasionally and once every 2 weeks he joins me and the kids for a walk (in summer). But he cuddles and plays with them at home a lot. If youre prepared to do most of the work then i say go for it!
Well i dont mean buy a cat without DHs consent, but definitely try to convince him if its important to you.

I’m in a similar position OP.

DH doesn’t dislike cats exactly (and has occasionally been caught with my parents’ cats on his lap ) but doesn’t think they are worth the extra hassle and mess and would prefer not to have them.

I love cats. DDs are desperate for cats (or any pet tbh). DD1 has mild SN and a cat would undoubtedly be great for her - she adores animals and they always help her be calm. DH agrees with this.

We didn’t have any sort of pre marriage agreement about pets so I reckon it’s majority vote, seeing as he isn’t allergic or phobic.

We’re getting cats next year...DH is not delighted but resigned to it.

They do have a very strong, pervasive, overwhelming smell that’s not pleasant though

Just returned from sniffing my overwhelmingly pongy cat

Off back to sniff again

LTB

@SoupDragon *There are some evil bastards out there that will harm them though, just because they can.

How on Earth have you leapt from me saying cats do smell to that??*

It wasn't in reply to your comment, just following on from people not liking cats, I was thinking about threads on here where partners have hurt pets out of spite or in temper or for whatever reason. Related more to the original subject matter than whether or not cats smell.

Cats are low maintenance in the sense that they shite on other peoples property and are let loose to roam wild and slaughter native species/get hit by cars etc. since they’re legally wild animals. But it would also shed copious amounts of hair everywhere and scream and puke and generally be a presence your husband simply does not want in his home. It would cost thousands of pounds to feed it for its lifespan, which is also something your husband would have to choke down. Liking pets is a major compatibility issue, I would never be with someone who funds breeders, or doesn’t like dogs for example.

You can rehome one of the thousands of unwanted cats, but you chose a man who does not want a cat in his home, so someone is going to be unhappy in this situation. But at least you’re not currently being kept awake by a healthy, well fed cat screaming and body slamming the windows 24 hours a day, wanting in, wanting out, screaming, puking, not wanting that particular sachet of food, and repeat, every day, for 2 decades.

Don’t hold back @GormlessLeech

My cat’s breath smells, but the rest of her doesn’t!

@Georgina678 Going slightly off topic here but when my cat started to have stinky breath it turned out she needed to get a few teeth out. Once they were gone, her breath was fine again. So it would be worth bringing her to the vet to check.

OP, I love my cats. I'm awake at 3am thanks to another cat rumble (minor fight) on the stairs. Which I can hear but DCs sleep through. DC adore them and I'm very glad we have them

I'm constantly hoovering up.cat hair, we get "presents" (cat regurg, half eaten mice, birds, d ead rats they decide are too big to eat , or even worse live ones of any of these! Once even a live pigeon ) that they bring in through the cat flap
They scratch everything (arm chair , dining room table legs, edges of carpets by doors of door cards to be closed) despite scratching posts dotted around and that I'm quick to redirect them to. They jump on kitchen table and kitchen sides, so I'm constantly disinfecting and fishing up chicken for human tea, is like fighting off the starving masses as They will trip me up in hope I drop some roast chicken. They miaow at shut bedroom doors and one headbuts them in the hope he can open it by sheer determinstion for a 2am snuggle.
They play at night on the stairs (thump thump thump..). If DC leave a wardrobe of cupboard open they sneak in their and make a bed. Don't get me started on the several times a year fleas and tick issues if they go out during hot summers despite strongest flea treatment vet can give - because they still can bring them in if even they don't live long on them.
The clearing up of cat poo from garden... And the time one decides for a few weeks to wee on your lawn, leaving you patched of yellow grass. Cat flap can equal other cats coming in, and without its 20+ opening a door a day to let them out or in, because "cat indecisiveness" or the "cat Mwa-ha-ha!" game! They trip you up as far there say they cannot observe favourite human walking without winding round your legs to show huge cat love. Or because you have new black work trousers on in morning ready for cat fluff socks application that finishes outfit off.

The cost of Vet bills for regular care, the odd infected wound, surprisingly common heart problems...., all the worry about accidents on road as frankly they can be daft darting across or laying in road... Cat food (which stinks)... And oh the... cat farts..... 😱

They are truly wonderful company and fairly independent. But if dogs can be described as needy toddlers, my cats are moody pre-teens, or a grumpy wild grandpa who won't take no for an answer on when they think it's breakfast time (really 4.30am again?!), . Mine sleep most of the day and hunt most of night except for one lazy bones who constantly sneaks into our here (even tho we shut bedroom doors) or the shower to play "Boo! Here I am" and to leave his black cat hair (short haired) fluff and dribble there (he's old, had him since kitten)

You got to really love cats to want them.

By all means apply child pester power and discuss regularly with DH, but he needs to be on board. Kittens /a loving cat is years of fun and affection and company, but no matter how much effort you make to run around after them, cats still have impact on everyone. I'm blinded by love and cat cuddles and would campaign loudly but know what you're in for! 😁😁😁😁

Sorry about the mistypes, my tablet has a very determined auto incorrect of " words it believes i should have typed instead"!

YABU.

You knew the deal. If you're feeling low, talk to someone about it and find other outlets/comforts. Cuddle your husband and your kids instead.