WIBU to get a cat even though DH doesn't like them?

[christmastreewithhairyfairy]

DH and I have been married 15 years. Growingup, I always had cats and other animals in the house, DH never did - his family just don't see the point of them.

When we met I accepted that I'd have to give up the idea of ever having pets but recently and increasingly I've realised how much I feel like I'm missing out. I'm quite low at the moment, on my own in the house a lot, and having a cat around would really help. We have 2 school age DDs who adore animals and would really love to have a pet (every year, a cat is top of the Christmas list), so DH is the only dissenter.

His arguments are the expense, the smell (I don't think cats smell personally - but do accept that could be because I grew up with them so am immune to it) and the general hassle of feeding, vets, catteries.

I feel like it doesn't have to impact his life too much - I will do the feeding, litter tray, vets trips etc. Though I get there will be an occasional time I am out and he will have to let it in, or deal with a bird or mouse in the house.

Of course if he puts his foot down and says no full stop, I am not exactly going to just turn up with one. But he is on the verge of being persuaded by the rest of us. AIBU even considering it, if he says yes but clearly is still not too keen?

A pp suggested fostering. That's a brilliant idea!!!
Have a look on cat chat for your local shelter

I don’t think anyone can say that cats categorically do or don’t stink.

We have lots of cats and some are beautifully clean. However, one forever has poo stuck to her very fluffy behind; one sprays everywhere and it really stinks (he is neutered and he’s been checked twice, but still stinks!) and one has lots of health issues and everything about him stinks.

Their litter trays are cleaned at least twice a day, sometimes more. Regularly disinfected etc. They still stink.

We are constantly cleaning after them and grooming them but some of them stink and it’s definitely noticeable in the house 😔

I think if he doesn’t like cats he does get the final say sadly. You chose to continue the relationship knowing this information.
I have always had loads of pets and I told my dp it’s never going to change and that the animals are a part of me. He loves animals but not to the extent I do and he is very accepting of my pets. I do all the work though, all the cleaning and feeding. If I was after another one I would still ask him. If he said no. I would accept that it is his home too. Yanbu to want a cat but yabu as your partner told you he didn’t want one.

Don’t understand prepped saying cats stink? I’ve got a ragdoll, which is an indoor cat and he doesn’t stink, even his litter tray doesn’t stink unless I’m bedside him when he goes! Good food and a good litter make a difference.

However, I do think getting a cat when not everyone has agreed to it is a bad idea. Cats are no hassle at all to look after though. My cat is far easier than my guniea pigs!

*people saying

YouFellAsleeep as a child growing up I couldn't smell our cats either, not until our Tom cat got old and incontinent.

However I haven't kept cats in years and I can definately smell cat when I walk into a house with cats, no matter how clean the owners are.

I wouldn’t. Cats are shit pets anyway. They don’t give a shit about their owners. They only stay for the food.

Any cat or dog came here, the next breathing thing through the door would be me

Bon voyage Phil

Keep working on DH OP if he’s not completely anti. We got ours as a friend couldn’t keep her anymore and my DH was ambivalent at best. 15 years on now and she’s never brought a single animal in and they adore each other

Alternatively I can recommend bearded dragons

Cats are shit pets anyway. They don’t give a shit about their owners. They only stay for the food.

Bollocks. Take your anti-cat fuckwittery elsewhere.

Bollocks. Take your anti-cat fuckwittery elsewhere

Agreed!

My DP didn’t want a cat. The dds and me wore him down and bargained with him, so he got an expensive item he wanted, and we got the cat!

Now DP loves the cat, I think he prefers him to everyone else in the house. He calls him his only son and they spend a lot of father son time together! 😂

So as long as you can get your DH to half heartedly agree, you may find he actually ends up liking it!

Given how many cats set up a second home with other people who feed it, it's not really bollocks is it?

My dad didn't want a cat, mum and I wore him down and I got one when I was 8 years old. Guess who the cat liked best?

Some cats do take a multi-party approach to feeding them.

I'm sure my dog would and would be the size of a house if she were allowed to roam and get into other houses.

Cats lose their appeal somewhat when they are chowing down on a pigeon on the living room carpet.

One thing I have noticed is that most of the people I know who didn't have pets growing up are uncomfortable around cats and dogs. Some are downright scared of them, which is a real shame. So OP, even if you don't end up getting a cat, I think you should make sure your DC become accustomed to cats and dogs by spending time with friends and family members' pets.

Your opening post asks AIBU even considering it, if he says yes but clearly is still not too keen?

If he says 'yes' then just go ahead - cats do have a habit of successfully converting even the most anti-cat people.
If he says a flat 'no' then keep trying .

And I concur with those who have said that cats don't usually smell - but their litter trays do when dirty. (Mind you I don't know many people who shit roses)

I have two neutered males, indoor cats that don't ever go out and never look to go out. I don't have the issue with them bringing in gifts from outside. They don't smell at all. Ever. They use a litter tray that gets cleaned out as soon as I notice they've used it, and the litter tray is sawdust pellets that do not smell of anything other than pine sawdusty smell, even when they wee in it.
However, they do leave cat hair on everything and I am constantly vacuuming. I think the worst thing for someone who doesn't like cats is to have cat hair on their clothes because you can't really avoid it. Then there's hairballs that they cough up too.

We agreed on our first cat.
Didn't agree on the second one and DH didn't speak to me all evening. He loves them both now but he really wasn't impressed when I brought him home. So I'd definitely advise on not getting one without agreeing first.

My DH didn't see the point. Got two kitten, the cat now loves him best. When one of the kittens was run over he was distraught.

I do all the vet stuff etc.

Would he get another one - probably not - but he gets cats now.

Yes

My mum got a cat for my dads birthday one year because she wanted a cat. He hated cats and he still hated them after we got one. The cat lived with us for 14 years, my dad lived with us for 4 years

They didn't split because of the cat but it probably didn't help!

All animals stink and cats are no exception.
Yabu about the cat, can you speak to him about other possibilities?
I've got a cat and a dog and the cat has been more trouble than any dog I know!

That would be a deal breaker for me.
l've always had pets from being a child, l love animals in general but l'd never have a cat. l looked after a friend's kitten for a week while they went on holiday and it was a nightmare. She climbed all over, knocked over and broke my ornaments, and the smell! Dear god. l've had pets all my life, but l've never smelled anything like what this kitten produced in the litter tray.
My best friend is cat daft. She has three. Every time l see her she's regaling me with tales of how one of them has brought in (usually live or half dead) mice and birds which she has to rescue/deal with. No way could l cope with that.
l'm afraid that if Mr kats announced we were getting a cat that would be it. Anything else, l'd consider, but never a cat.

Imagine if this is I want a baby my dh doesn’t . No one would think it was ok.

I don’t like cats , agree they smell. I would never accept a pet that lived indoors.

I've had cats all my life and they have never ever smelt! I am a very good proud person and I don't like smells! Dogs are a lot more hassle than cats and they DO definitely smell. I'm not saying that to be horrible as we also have dogs but I work hard to keep the dog smell at bay and the house fresh.

Cats IME are no trouble at all. Get a cat flap. I'd just get one, who put your DH in charge?!