To be angry at mil for going through my bags

[nuggles]

So basically we've stored 4 suitcases at the inlaws while we are in process of moving.

She rings today to tell me she's gone through our suitcases while she's moving them into the garage. I mean I know they're looking after our belongings for a month but to go through them...

Who the hell does that?!

@ToniHargis totally agree with you on that, will try next time!

There is a lot of hysteria on this thread. OP stored full bags at her mil’s. Mil wanted to move them into the garage and so checked through them. If OP didn’t want her to do that she should have put locks on them. This whole thread is ridiculous

What hysteria? Do you actually know the meaning of the word 😂. Your poor DILs. I’m guessing you hate them.

A desire for privacy equals hysteria? Good to know.

If MIL had been genuinely concerned about whether the contents would be damaged by storing them in the garage, she could've picked up the phone and asked...

Of course she should have asked. And of course the OP shouldn’t have to put locks on them!

But I am always amused at the assumption that anyone over the age of 30 would be horrified by sex toys!

Well she didn’t realise fucking clothes that she has seen the OP and her family wear become sacred and private the moment they get put into a suitcase

If MIL had been genuinely concerned about whether the contents would be damaged by storing them in the garage, she could've picked up the phone and asked...

Agree. It's not hysteria to expect someone asks before going through bags belonging to someone else.

Make sure you do the same if you come across any suitcases of hers 🤭

Oh, it's suitcases, I thought it was going to be your handbags or something deeply personal...

I wouldn't expect someone to look through suitcases but some people do seem to have a lot of curiosity and less feeling about private space, etc. Maybe she thought they would only contain miscellaneous stuff like snorkel gear, beach shoes and a great many carrier bags from foreign supermarkets, like we keep in ours?

I don't understand why someone would be "livid" about this, if the contents were truly private then you could have put locks on to make sure. Not that I think it's OK to have a nosy, so you shouldn't have to, but it's not like you've left a handwritten murder confession in them. So it all seems like an overreaction to me, sorry... and she's doing you a favour storing them too.

Remember DH and I staying with my DPs many moons ago when we were young marrieds. Apparently DM went through our bag when we were out and found my contraceptive pills. Only know this because she told my DSis, who then told us. Never said anything, but always made sure any bag was locked after that, and never trusted her again.

This sounds like exactly the kind of thing my mother would do, and it's the main reason I would never leave anything of mine in her care. She cares passionately about privacy, but only her own! Anything belonging to anyone else is fair game.

I would be furious too, regardless of what was actually in the cases.

Well OP, you know you can't trust her with anything, hope you haven't given her a key.

Is it that bad? Sounds like she was just tying to use less storage space by condensing and she just thought it was clothes/ rubbish and nothing private. Annoying in a different was as she thinks she knows better ( ie you would only have used 3 if you could) but doesn’t sound like snooping to me

If OP didn’t want her to do that she should have put locks on them.

Or she should be able to trust her mil to pick up the phone, call, and ASK instead of going through them. Having to put on a lock so someone doesn’t go through your things in a close family members’ home would mean to many that you don’t trust them which would beg the question why would you store your things there in the first place.

If OP didn’t want her to do that she should have put locks on them. This whole thread is ridiculous.

No, it isn't. You don't rummage through other people's stuff. Not their handbags, their mail, their drawers, suitcases or personal papers. No decent person would even consider doing that.

Applause to the DH for his response.

@Cannotresist

Is it that bad? Sounds like she was just tying to use less storage space by condensing and she just thought it was clothes/ rubbish and nothing private. Annoying in a different was as she thinks she knows better ( ie you would only have used 3 if you could) but doesn’t sound like snooping to me

And what, throw away the fourth suitcase? a suitcase take up the same room whether filled or not.

You e got plenty of those particular items, have you Amaretto? Enough to spare?

I would look through bags too before putting them into a potentially leaky, spider infested garage just in case you had anything valuable in there. You sound really ungrateful

Why wouldn't you just pick up the phone and ask the owner, @GrumpyHoonMain?

If OP didn’t want her to do that she should have put locks on them. This whole thread is ridiculous

You really believe that if you don't put locks on a case you're giving carte blanche to anyone who fancies looking through the contexts? It's not this thread that's ridiculous, @GrumpyHoonMain.

Why was she trying to condense them into fewer bags?
Was she wanting to borrow a case? Or just having a bloody good nosey and this was the only excuse she could think of?
Never let her stay in a house with a locked door, it'll kill her.
Hysteria? I think not. Highly rude to go through others' belongings without being specifically asked to.

YANBU

My sister in law did this. We’d stored stuff at another sister in laws as we we’re moving house. For some reason unbeknown to me, they went through our boxes and she then messaged to ask if she could have some of my clothes

🤷🏻‍♀️

Well she didn’t realise fucking clothes that she has seen the OP and her family wear become sacred and private the moment they get put into a suitcase

How would she know that that is what's in the case, and/or that it was the only thing that would be in there?

@Iggly hope you said no?

Nope not ok. When I stay at any family or friends places I’d not dream of going through their personal stuff like bags, cases. looking After someone’s possessions doesn’t give the right for that person to go through them. If MIL had a problem with the space 3 cases were taking up she needed to ask you to condense the contents into one or shouldn’t have taken them in the first place.

She didn't just decide to rummage through them. She had a reason. I'm also a bit that you'd leave lots of cases in someone else's house and not tell them the contents. Obviously OP isn't a drug dealer or art smuggler but surely it's just courtesy to say what's in the cases. And if OP told them it was clothes then I'm not sure why this is such a drama. It's not ideal MIL went through them but it's hardly worth storming over in high dudgeon.