Single parent wants to change career into medicine, but has no support.

[Puzzledbyart]

Just out of interest. Let's say we have two primary aged school children (on the younger side of primary). Is it feasible for their single parent to go through the medical school (with a foundation year, they are in 40s, so long out of school), whilst retaining 100% custody of the children? There is no family help nearby, and no substantial savings to pay for the childcare either. Is it realistic at all?

Thanks all. Many people assumed I am talking about myself here, I am not. From this perspective it is probably an unintended "reverse", the person in question is my ex who applied for a 100% residence order on the basis that he plans to start medical school next autumn and will therefore have a lot of free time. He was not involved much before. I genuinely wanted opinions on how plausible this is, not ex bashing (can do it well myself).

He sounds like a total fantasist.

But why would you say he wouldn't get any childcare help/ support form the children's other parent? Isn't that you?

HA. He will not have a lot of spare time.

And no, he will absolutely not be able to request child friendly shifts. He'll be working weekends and nights. He'll also be on call and have to leave to go to hospital at short notice.

It would be incredibly difficult and require a great degree of organisation and sacrifice. I waited until I was a registrar before having children - 13 years after starting my degree.

Have they thought about physician assistant instead? Much shorter training (2 years) and as I understand it's more primary care based so might be more family friendly hours for placement and once qualified.

Otherwise play the long game - physio, then ncp so they end up an advanced practitioner. It won't be quite the same as being a registered dr and depends what they wanted to do when they qualify, but physio hours and placements are family friendly and then they could earn a wage whilst building experience to apply for advanced practitioner roles. It's probably take 10 years ish, more, but you'd be earning for all of it except the initial physio

Dr training is brutal and very unfamily friendly. In fact I think it's pretty unfriendly for most work life balance and stays that way unless you get into a specialism that is more office/clinic based.

Sorry cross posted.

He's more than a bit deluded then.

Your ex wants 100% residency as a medical student? I don't understand. Are these your shared children you're talking about?

the person in question is my ex who applied for a 100% residence order on the basis that he plans to start medical school next autumn and will therefore have a lot of free time

When will this free time be?

Does he have the qualifications to get into medical school, OP because if he doesn’t-all this is rather moot, isn’t it?

@Haffdonga
It is me. Long to explain, his plans also involve relocating halfway across the country, closer to his school, and he asks the court for limited contact from my side only.

He’s crazy!

I don’t think he’ll even get into medical school in the first place, seeing as his unreasonable expectations will no doubt come through in his application and interview.

If he doesnt do much why the bees to talk about family friendly shifts or mention no support from other parent?

This situation is parent who hardly bothers with child, can they manage it. The answer would be yes.

Doesnt work as a reverse.

@Namechangeforthiscancershit
Yes, shared children, sorry. He was disinterested for most of the time, now suddenly wants to become effectively their only parent.

Hang on he wants to take the child?

Apologies, I misread. He intends to take the children?

Not a chance a court would allow that.

Does be want the children to increase his income? Does he have a partner he plans to have look after the children?

He thinks (or has researched and found out) if he gets full residency of DC while studying he will be entitled to far more financial assistance than if he were studying without dependants.

@Anotherlongdrive
Sorry, maybe I did not explain this properly. He asks to become the main (de-facto only) resident parent now, and one of his bigger arguments is that he would be a better parent as he plans to study for the next 6 years so will have plenty of free time to spend with the children. I am trying to put together an argument that it is a bit unrealistic, especially for someone who has close to zero hands on experience with either parenting or medicine.

Are parents not allowed to choose family friendly shifts?

Totally deluded

What are his qualifications?

@Disfordarkchocolate
No partner that I know of or that was introduced to the court.

I actually will go against the grain and say it is possible. It would be hard, it would involve doing his research well but it isn't impossible. Some Med Schools are much friendlier towards mature students and will offer much more support to support parents. Some are much more interested in younger pupils and their structure will reflect this.

Work wise again, it very much depends on schools, some are more full-on, others less so at least in the first few years. Most schools would prioritise parents getting closer placements, but there will be no guarantee they can ensure ensure email 9-5 local for all of them.

Is it realistic, not much, but I certainly not impossible for someone who is naturally very academic, very hard working, and very determined and committed.

Saying all that, gaining custody of a child is not something you get just because you want it.

He is deluded

@fedup21
A Masters in a humanity subject. I understand he has an offer already, or close to it.

@Puzzledbyart he wont get residency and be allowed to move them across the country, just because he wants it.

Even if he was going for a well paid job that came with a nanny. Never mind this idiotic plan.