Single parent wants to change career into medicine, but has no support.

[Puzzledbyart]

Just out of interest. Let's say we have two primary aged school children (on the younger side of primary). Is it feasible for their single parent to go through the medical school (with a foundation year, they are in 40s, so long out of school), whilst retaining 100% custody of the children? There is no family help nearby, and no substantial savings to pay for the childcare either. Is it realistic at all?

I switched out of medicine because I couldn’t handle the stress... would recommend placement as hca to see all the pressures and short staffing. Even if you would enjoy the job as it is supposed to be - would you enjoy it with the nhs as it is - training time being squeezed, expected to do audits in your free time?

What is the plan for weekend and night childcare? Graduate degree is intense with no long summer break. After that all specialities including GP have post graduate exams - 2 or 3 parts which have at best about 70% pass rate. Good luck! I was ok with the academic/test side but found the daily stresses too much even doing it part time - maybe someone with less anxious personality would do better... but it is a big risk financially.

No. The children would be the ones paying the cost for the dream. Less time, no money etc.

Studying is something to be done pre children or when they no longer require financial support. Whilst they need that, parents should be providing it not chasing dreams.

I don’t think it will be viable at all OP. The actual academic side of it will be so difficult, given it’s medicine, but even if you can manage that, it’s the placements that will make it pretty much impossible.

It’s not to say parents can’t do this course successfully, but a single parent with zero support is a whole different ball game.

They may jerk your placements local, but there’s no way you will not be expected to do shifts. Who would look after your LO’s? This is where family support is paramount and this is where you’re going to become unstuck.

It’s very frustrating but I think it would be practically impossible unless you can A- afford childcare that included unsociable hours, B- can actually find someone that will be available for you to use.

I do feel sorry for you OP but I think knob practice with will be just about impossible 😐 xx

It is feasible but very tough and I think it requires quite a sacrifice on having time with your kids as they grow up. You can however request foundation years part time so that you actually see your kids - but at mid 40s plus would stretch out junior doctor years even further. However, there is a push to be accommodating of circumstances and part-time is no longer uncommon although more usual at stages after foundation. Medicine is very hierarchical- it can be awkward being a middle aged junior doc.

The person is able to ask for family friendly shifts, however these are highly highly unlikely to get granted. There’s no way they’d be able to train without doing night shifts. The working hours are insane, and I don’t know what kind of childcare would be available to them for nights. Plus the 4/5 years of intense study before they even reach the point of hospital working. Sounds like it’s their dream but the reality of it might not be for them right now.

PS you would need to find overnight childminders for shifts - or at primary age, an au pair may be feasible?

Sorry but knob practice 😂

I really doubt it OP.

Unless you were able to source some crazy round the clock childcare package (which I expect would be £££££).

Even then I’d say the stress would be immense.

What about something like radiography or physiotherapy where the hours are more predictable and the training less intense?

Honestly I’m training as an allied health professional and have a toddler and I find placements tough going as it is, and that’s with the support of a partner and family and no night shifts. No way could I do something as full on as medicine with no help.

@Dan68

I know 😂 good old auto correct! Still haven’t figured out how to edit stuff once I’ve pressed post haha

I would say that it would be totally unfeasible. I don't see junior medics having much choice over shifts and I don't think it is a career that is very forgiving for single parents.

Agree it is not necessarily just the university aspect, but the foundation years afterwards (F1/F2) and the onward training (another 3-5 years plus). That’s where the issues with shifts will really hit (and if kids are young primary, in 5-7 years time they’re still not likely to be old enough to be routinely left whilst working nights etc.).

Are parents not allowed to choose family friendly shifts?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

No, of course parents aren’t allowed to choose family friendly shifts, and nor should they be able to.

The intensity of the training plus the hideous junior doctor shifts/rotas would be impossible to do if there is no back up child care eg grandparents.
Night shifts are not negotiable . Read Adam Kays book for an accurate description of the hours.

I was thinking au pair too.

The uni years will probably be just about doable if the hospital trust he/she is based at is near home. Unis are usually more helpful at supporting students with difficult personal circumstances than NHS as an employer. Junior doctors do not get child friendly shifts just because they are a single parent. The NHS simply could not accommodate the need to cover all the hospital night and weekend shifts if they tried to give all parents school day only shifts.

Having said that, my friend is a single parent and a midwife. She has managed the night shifts by having a lodger/ friend who lives with her and takes a baby/ teen sitting role in return for very low rent. There are ways.

Radiography and physiotherapy also works shifts. Radiography is a 24/7 profession and shifts are a requirement of that post. Physios do oncall from home. Better off with speech therapy or occupational therapy or dieticians as they don't do night shifts

Is there room for a nanny? They need to ofsted registered and she will have to register as their employer, in order to claim the childcare grant. There is an upper limit you can claim so be prepared to top this up.

I'm a student midwife and single parent, nearing the end of my degree. It's hard work and a long slog but not impossible.

Nights when studying you mean? Or during the clinical placements? Are parents not allowed to choose family friendly shifts?

I take it, you arenr talking about yourself.

Surely you have looked into this, or the person has.

No, you dont just hey child friendly shifts.

And what would they look like? 9.30-2.30, term time only?

People who have worked I medicine for years before their kids come along may be able to get shifts in departments they already work in. Depending on their roles and where they work.

Training and new staff wont.

It will be really hard and your friend will need a lot of support - the study is hard too, loads of coursework, exams, pressures, the shifts are crazy and not family friendly - their family dynamics will change enormously - it's doable, get support from the university also as they have all sorts of help for those students out of the usual range of 18 and just finished A levels so see what they have and how they can support

Christ, why would anyone, let alone someone parenting small children alone, want to start training for a medical career in their 40’s!! Surely there are faster ways to turn yourself inside out?

I think age would pretty much be a complete bar to entry at that age in the U.K. at least. Sorry

Can radiologists work normal hour's? I don't think they do?

I am 32, would love a career change to medicine but have a 2 yo and expecting in January. I don't believe I have a hope in achieving this, financially or physically tbh and DH is supportive. His wages can't cover all our expenses and the pressure on him to cover night shifts etc would be too much I think. Breaks my bloody heart though 🙁 nothing worse than a job that takes up a third of your day and inspires nothing.

Goodluck to your friend OP if he/she can work it out. Genuinely hope it's somehow manageable.

Are parents not allowed to choose family friendly shifts?

You clearly know very little about Medicine as a career which begs the question, why are you so over invested in this?

I’m presuming that the person whose life we are actually talking about has done substantially more research about this than you.

What qualifications do they have currently? It’s obviously not an easy course to be accepted onto.

Can radiologists work normal hour's? I don't think they do?

Do you mean Radiologists or radiographers?